Lilly Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 I think it is always a wonderful idea to send flowers. But depending on why you are sending them it may work and it may not. Is it to apologize for something you did or just to say I love you?
johan Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 I'm a guy, but I thought I'd launch this one: it's almost always a bad idea. Flowers don't last, are rarely appreciated, and are expensive. And the big reason not to send them is you risk coming off as a simp. Guys tend to treat flowers as a way to purchase affection or as a way to "buy" our way into a girl's heart. If you feel the need to do that then either she doesn't care and there's nothing you can do about it or she does care and flowers are irrelevant. And you're feeling insecure, which a bunch of roses won't fix. Note I said "almost always". I'll give flowers as an "out of nowhere" surprise to a girl I really care about. But I also pay attention to how she cares for them. One girl I dated told me about her superstition that the amount of time the flowers last is an indication of the strength of the love you share. I've always had that in the back of my head. It makes me pick the freshest, healthiest, most expensive flowers. And I get SO annoyed when a girl doesn't take excellent care of them. Women will always unload the "Oh I LOVE flowers, it's NEVER a bad idea" thing on you when you ask a question like this. It's the same as "where are all the NICE guys". It's sounds great in theory, but in practice, it's found to be untrue in the simplistic way guys tend to interpret things like this.
Author LN8840K Posted December 18, 2005 Author Posted December 18, 2005 It's more of a thinking about you thing ...... I can't say I have no expectations..... I can say the one expectation I do have is that they are appreciated, but beyond that it's more a matter of making her feel good would be the main goal I'm not really that worried about coming off as a simp
Becoming Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 As a thoughtful gesture, yes--fabulous! But you don't have to send them. A bouquet of wildflowers stuck in a jar are also great. My husband has sent me dozens of gorgeous roses, but the ones I remember best were the roses he picked off our campus rose bushes at night and stuck in a beer bottle he fished out of the fountain and cleaned up before presenting them out of the blue as a surprise the next morning. Notice the bold of the above, though. As a general rule, I don't want "I'm sorry" flowers, and flowers that come with hidden expectations just plain make me mad, as though I could be bought with a simple bouquet of flowers. Flowers work for me because I love them. Find out what her favorites are and give those. And thoughtful gifts like books on subjects she likes are also great. And good for you about not being worried about coming off as a simp. Women love a guy who's not afraid of embarassing himself a little for her. The idea that my guy would stop the car by a highway and not be afraid of picking a bunch of daisies, black-eyed susans, and Queen Anne's lace gets me every time.
whichwayisup Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 Don't send roses. THOSE are a waste of money and don't last long. My hubby always gets me scented lilly's. They smell SO good and last over a week.
Madeleine Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 My ex husband was violent and he always sent me flowers after he'd done something despicable to me. It was his messed up way of saying sorry. I hated them, they only reminded me of the appalling way he treated me and i couldn't wait for them to wilt so i could throw them out. Sometimes my mother brings me flowers from her garden. I love those, they say more than words, they are a gesture of her unconditional love for me and i keep them long after they have dried and gone crispy! It very much depends on the reason for sending flowers.
cplfun13 Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 I hate apology flowers, especially when they are sent to work. Everyone is looking at them and making comments on what a great guy I have, and it makes me even more upset. Apologies can't be bought and I don't need/want the additional reminder staring at me for days till they die. The best time for me to get flowers is for no reason at all. No holiday, birthday, anniversary or apology. Just because is the best reason of all. 1
Becoming Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 The best time for me to get flowers is for no reason at all. No holiday, birthday, anniversary or apology. Just because is the best reason of all. YES! Say something nice like "When I saw how beautiful these are, I thought of you." or something sappy like that that's true (IT HAS TO BE TRUE!--Women aren't so easily fooled.) and enjoy the effects!
lilmoma1973 Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 Don't send roses. THOSE are a waste of money and don't last long. My hubby always gets me scented lilly's. They smell SO good and last over a week. WWIU i love lilly's too so much better than roses !!
SMHappyface Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 if she gives you the time of day and u've not sent so many flowers previous that her place smells like a funeral parlor, I think your fine! Send away!
kanga Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 but only if they are either for no reason or accompanied with some serious thought. and apology flowers, to me, have never really felt sincere. i'm appreciative of the flowers i receive. and yes, i'm a huge fan of lillies. big blooming lillies are my favorite. not roses.
Fun2BMe Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 I love receiving flowers, more than any other gift in the world. It makes me feel very special, thought of and I love to see them/ They brighten up the room tremendously even though they last about a week, the memory lasts forever. I like to take pictures of the bouquets I receive as a reminder of how happy they made me feel and I look forward to trimming them and changing the water in the vase every day. It is the most exciting thing to get them delivered as a surprise! Nothing tops that romantic gesture. It doesn't have to be romantic either. When I feel down sometimes a friend will give or send me flowers and it chears me up instantly and gets me out of a funk. I can't imagine anyone not feeling the same about it. A combination of the thought behind it plus bringing nature indoors and the colorful aura to the eye and fragrant scent provides a big boost to the spirit. A few Valentine Day's ago, in addition to my then-boyfriend sending me flowers to work, I got a beautiful bouquet from an anonymous admirer. I still don't know they were from to this day! I keep a vase of fake flowers on my desk at home and at work and it makes a big difference to the atmosphere, let alone if they are real and delivered by someone who had thought about me. I'm a guy, but I thought I'd launch this one: it's almost always a bad idea. Flowers don't last, are rarely appreciated, and are expensive. And the big reason not to send them is you risk coming off as a simp. If you care about longevity, then send someone a box of pencils. Do you think they would get the same response? I don't mean to attack, I guess some people are either not romantic or don't get the joy out of flowers or feel good to make a girl enjoy receiving them. There are many that are inexpensive, like the beautiful wild flowers, or daisies and so on, can buy a bouquiet for as low as $7 and of course they range to hundreds of dollars for the larger fancier ones with rare flowers but they have a similar effect regardless of the size, cost and type of flowers.
Author LN8840K Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 So I guess if I sent them as a " secret admirer " that would remove all expectations did you have any idea at all who sent them FUN ?
kanga Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 Would she know that you're the secret admirer? I've never received secret admirer flowers or gifts. I think the only time that it's bad to send flowers is after a first date or whenever you think she may be creeped out by moving too fast. I'd definitely stay away from roses. But if you're going to send them, and you want her to know they are from you, then go for it.
Fun2BMe Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 So I guess if I sent them as a " secret admirer " that would remove all expectations did you have any idea at all who sent them FUN ? I' m not clear what your intentions are. When you say it would remove all expectations, it sounds like you don't want any type of relationship so why exactly are you sending them? Also if it is just for a friendship or to make her feel good, then I take it you are not wanting a relationship with her, but like her enough to want her to have flowers but not secure enough to let her know they are from you? Maybe you have another thread to explain that i have not read. But it is very exciting to get annonymous flowers and I say go for it! By the way, why all the bashing on roses?! They might not be all that, but the thought that they are roses and all the hype makes it double exciting to get them! Seems like guys are making excuses not to send them because they are expensive, but trust me, girls love them no matter what they may say about them. If I get a mixed bouquet, I poke around to see if there are any roses in there and yes it is exciting to see if there are even a couple hidden in the bunch! I still don't know who sent those flowers! I did flirt with a client very far away in another state over the phone at the time. It was really only friendly and in a joking way since I was making a lot of money from his transactions and we would have fun on the phone. But he was married with children and it might be stretching it to think he contacted a local flowershop to have them deliver flowers to me. I have absolutely 0% clue who they were from but can't rule that client out either since I have no clues to go by! It was a very large bouquet I tipped the delivery boy $5 for carrying them all the way to my desk. Good thing my boyfriend at the time never visited my office otherwise he'd see them, plus they were much larger and diverse than the ones he had had delivered to me! So every now and then I think hmmmm who the heck were they from! The card said "To "Fun" with love" and I still have the large nice vase from them that I use for other flowers I get! I am in favor of sending anonymous flowers, the excitement lasts a lilfetime.
Author LN8840K Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 hmmmmm FUN2 ........ now I'm confused as to my intentions as well...... I think it may be possible that I have commitment issues and just wanted to make her feel good without actually ahhhhhhhhhhhh hmmmmmmmmmmmm........ you know hmmmmmmm wow that was too deep
Fun2BMe Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 LN8840K, go to this website: http://http://www.iflorist.com/en/act/meaning/ It lists the meaning behind every type of flower. For example, Red Camellias mean "You're a flame in my heart" and white Camellias mean "You're adorable." , red carnation - "adminration, my heart aches for you" and so on. We know red roses mean love so you don't have to be that blunt and scare her off. You can get one or more than one variety with the message you want to tell her and either spell it out on the card or else hint for her to look it up or something. It might be a fun way to get your "foot in the door" of her heart. By keeping it annonymous, you can feel safe from rejection and be friendly with her, see if she warms up to you if she suspects it is from you and respond accordingly.
Author LN8840K Posted December 20, 2005 Author Posted December 20, 2005 Thank you for the link FUN2............. I will send them from myself....
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