Cupcake Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 Over a year ago, my XBF basically left me for another woman. They started dating before he and I broke up. She was totally in love with him so much that she was willing to wait for him to break up with me. After about a month of waiting, she finally got her wish when I dumped him and they are now living happily ever after. After over a year of dating different men, I finally found one whom I think is "the one." We've been in an LDR for about four months. But he recently told me he has a girlfriend. They have been breaking up and getting back together for several months. They were broken up when I met him. But right now, they are trying to work things out again. So I guess I'm the other woman now. Should I wait for this man to break up with his GF (like the other woman did with my XBF and finally got him)? He hasn't indicated that he wants me to leave. In fact, he ask me for advice on how to deal with his GF. I am like a best friend to the guy I "thought" I was dating. What should I do?
Second-best Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 I know this is going to sound harsh - but, if he doesn't think that way of you right now, and still wants to work things out with his girlfriend, I'd say he won't ever fully be committed to you. If he does decide to leave his gf, and he does get together with you, it'll be more of a rebound than anything. Hope you don't get hurt.
curiousnycgirl Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 Move on! This guy seems to consider you a close friend, not a girlfriend! Do not waste your valuable time waiting for him - you deserve better!
Walk Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 I don't think a person is able to fully commit themselves to another person or relationship until they've had time to A.) resolve their feelings about the other person. B.) Take time to relearn who they are as a single individual. Even if you did wait, and the two of you started dating, the time frame between his two relationships is zero. He hasn't had time to evaluate why his past relationship failed, what he may have done to cause it, how he wants to see life, or what he wants. He would just be filling a void that was left by this other woman. If he's attempting to work it out with this other woman, then you need to take that as a very big bright orange sign telling you to get out of there! He doesn't have the time, or space in his heart to love you. He's keeping you on the back burner, just in case. You're enabling him to lean on you as a crutch. Not only is this situation not fair to you, but also to the other woman. Tell him that the two of you are finished. If for some reason down the road he finds himself truly single, and able to committ fully to someone, then maybe he can give you a call. Otherwise, tell him to get lost. You don't need that heart ache in your life. And he needs a wake up call to stop messing with peoples emotions.
Mary3 Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 You seem to have had the unfortunate luck of having 2 of these situations somewhat similar. I would run ! Do NOT be waiting..... as badly as you want to . Have some respect and dignity and get out ! Run , fast ...
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