meltwithme Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 Well I was doing pretty good, even met a girl that really has me interested but I got sick (flu/fever) and so I've basically been trapped in the house and my ex is getting in my head again. I'm starting to hate this ****, she did me so wrong and yet I can't stop wanting her. Even though I know another chance prob wouldnt work because I still have some resentment and I wouldn't be able to trust her, I just want to call her up and tell her I haven't found anyone as special as her and that I want to just hold her again. I know that would do me no good and she would just ignore me anyways but this sucks, thoose thoughts of her with the other guy are even starting to haunt me again, atleast with NC I can tell myself "stop thinking about it because you can't call so there's no point" I really dont know what to do right now, this is really getting old and I want to tell my mind to just forget about her.
scobro Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 I was exactly like that as well a little while ago and then I came by a book by Eckhart Tolle called The Power of Now.This really got me to understand how the ego and brain work and to give you a bit of what I learned from him is your ego has produced self identity through your ex so what this means is you identify your self worth through being with your ex or your role as boyfriend or husband etc.So what will happen is the ego will keep thinking about the past with her and how great she is and how bleak the future is without her when really most people live their self worth from the past and always have this hope that the future will be better like "when I get the perfect relationship I will be happy" then you find the perfect relationship and 5 years later it does the opposite and makes you unhappy.He teaches you how to not waste your time thinking about what causes you pain and how to have inner balance and peace something most don't have.I really didn't explain it great but it is quite fascinating and has changed the way I think and has helped me through my separation,It would be worth checking out.
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