sulci Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 hi, i've been in a LDR for about 3 years with now. i'm in school. He has just got out of school and has worked for a year. i live in canada, he lives in california. i'm looking at another 3 or so years of school before we can think about living together. Chances are he won't find the type of work he has just graduated from up here (computer chip designing)... lately we've been a bit tense, because i've been a bit depressed about the whole ldr thing. the previous 3 years have been quite managable, even though we have only met in real life once (feb '05). it's really only these past few 6 months that it has really gotten to me. not being able to go out to movies, or have lunch, or normal stuff with the person you love he says we can start to meet more (every 2-3 months, school and work permitting) and he wants me to spend the entire 4 months of my summer break with him in cali. eventually we plan to have me move down there. i think a big problem is that he works long days (not by his choice) and has already used a ton of vacation time (we're meeting again this xmas for 10 days, he is coming up to canada... for a grand total of 20 days in 3 years XD). so if i came up to visit him he probably wouldn't be able to take more time off (i was actually mad at him for taking vacation days off to go visit his family for a week ). summer might be odd, depending if i can work in the states for those 4 months (i don't know anything about if i would need a permit to work in the states and i could be taking summer courses at school instead.. but he really wants me to visit the entire summer). It will be a chance to experience living together but we'll only see each other when he is not at work and on weekends. AND he'll have to finance all of it... so chances are xmas will be extremly fun, but after that i'm not sure whats going to happen. i like to think my doubts are normal (can we live each other on a normal basis, etc) for a LD relationship of this type. part of me wants to give up on it for now, and part of me really worries that i'll be losing the right guy if i do give up... we wouldn't break up because of each other, but because of just the distance... and if we break he has already said being friends wouldn't be ok. my mother and best friend basically have no advice lol. my mother suggested dating around, but i'm not sure if thats what i want either. reading anything in regards to my dilemma would be helpful and comforting...
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