Why is it that a woman is a slut if...

[Can't Settle]

she likes to sleep around but a man is a stud? I'm so tired of it all.

 

I was involved with exmm for a few months. I worked with him for three years and within those three years I began feeling attracted to him. Into the third year of working together he left his W and children. We had a 3 month A that included sex, best lover I ever had. About three months later he decides he wants to go back to his W so he broke it off. I started my life over again. I started dating a SG at work. The exMM moved to be where his W and children were.

 

The relationship lasted with the SG for two years. Neither one of us wanted to get M again so we just dated.

I got another job for another company with better pay and shortly afterwards the SG broke it off with me but we remained friends. Now I work with so many guys, have dated so many and now I am a slut, whore, whatever. Why is it a woman can't date around and not be called a slut? Yes, I have slept with some men that I work with in this large facility but why not? I am young, don't want to settle down, I am careful when it comes to disease and I can't get pregnant so what is the big deal? I don't want to settle down, I just want to have fun. Why is it so wrong? If a man screws tons of woman he is a stud, but if a woman does it she is a slut? Maybe it's because some of these men have GF's, who knows, but I don't care. I have the attitude that if a man is attracted to me, and I am attracted to him I am going to flirt and I don't care if they are in a relationship or even M. If a mm wants to flirt with me I am not going to stop him, it's his problem, not mine, what is so wrong with that?

[hoopsy32]

I looked over your post sort of fast, but my opinion is that men are insecure and have to call women these names to make themselves feel better about themselves, especially if they themselves are whores. I find it so damn ironic that most of the guys that I was in Iraq with are these typical guys that label women like that, but these guys are the biggest sluts I've ever met. Most military men are lying, cheating, bastards (not all), and I know from experience from living with them in Iraq, and having a relationship with one for 6 years before I found out about it.

 

It sucks, but this world is still so male dominated and the hypocracy won't end soon. (yes I'm sort of pissy about it)

[newbby]

men see women that give out sex easily, the same way women see men who give out emotions easily. it's harsh but true. it doesnt matter why the woman has sex. it doesnt matter if she just does it because SHE wants to, they see it that she is easy, and therefore not worth much or unconfident, insecure and needy. they like to know that they have to work hard to get the prize and that they are the only one who could get it. same as women falling for the guy who doesnt seem to get emotionally involved very easily. he is a challenge and to get him to love her makes her feel more special. to get a woman who doesnt give sex away easily, makes the man feel more special if he gets it.

its not fair, but thats just the way they are.

[goingforgold]

cantsettle - i like your attitude and i am a bit the same, if they flirt with you and pursue you then they obviously like you so why stop them? after all you're not doing anything wrong, its them thats starting it all, but really it doesnt matter who starts what, i hate guys that call women sluts just because they sleep around - big deal, sex is sex and if a woman wants it she'll get it the same way a man does.

 

Society is a bit behind with this kinda topic, they need to wake up and realise women want sex to and not all of us want emotional attachements to the man.

[Neptune]

Men play offense, women play defense.

 

When men get sex they score.

When women give sex they have been conquered.

 

Women are judged on their ability to play defense. Keep a man out of the box you score. A man gets in the box he scores. He wins, you lose.

 

So, a woman who gives it up is considered a loser.

 

Sorry, I would change these rules for all eternity if I could. However, I am not god.

[NYCmitch25]

I looked over your post sort of fast, but my opinion is that men are insecure and have to call women these names to make themselves feel better about themselves, especially if they themselves are whores. I find it so damn ironic that most of the guys that I was in Iraq with are these typical guys that label women like that, but these guys are the biggest sluts I've ever met. Most military men are lying, cheating, bastards (not all), and I know from experience from living with them in Iraq, and having a relationship with one for 6 years before I found out about it.

 

It sucks, but this world is still so male dominated and the hypocracy won't end soon. (yes I'm sort of pissy about it)

 

We *are* a bunch of insecure, sexiest, lying good for nothing rats! ... and yes there are sexiest stereotypes (esp. in the military) but with a mug like yours, I'm surprised you aren't breaking some hearts yourself! Actually my SO dated guy she met when in the military who she would have married if he lived in her state (so I guess not all bad is true). I guess there are some double standards here but I guess I'm under the impression that men or women should not be so free about having sex because I believe that it affects us emotionally. I'm not saying I judge people because for example my SO had a LOT more partners than I have had and I don't think any less of her but I guess my point is that sex should only happen in long term relationships for men or women.. What do you think, am I behind the times, do you agree with these other people's point of view ?

[Leid]

women are the receptacles in sex... we tend to harbor more bacteria in our bodies, so we really should be more careful than men what goes in our bodies.

[sparticuss]

I looked over your post sort of fast, but my opinion is that men are insecure and have to call women these names to make themselves feel better about themselves, especially if they themselves are whores. I find it so damn ironic that most of the guys that I was in Iraq with are these typical guys that label women like that, but these guys are the biggest sluts I've ever met. Most military men are lying, cheating, bastards (not all), and I know from experience from living with them in Iraq, and having a relationship with one for 6 years before I found out about it.

 

It sucks, but this world is still so male dominated and the hypocracy won't end soon. (yes I'm sort of pissy about it)

 

You jest of course Hoops.

It's the women who use the word slut to describe women who go bed hopping. Men in general, real men in paticular, only ever use the word slut to describe women who actually use their tits to make trouble.

 

As for the word "stud"! I have NEVER heard a man use that word to describe a human.

Horses, cattle, dogs a plenty, even chickens, but never humans.

[sparticuss]

she likes to sleep around but a man is a stud? I'm so tired of it all.

 

Now I work with so many guys, have dated so many and now I am a slut, whore, whatever. Why is it a woman can't date around and not be called a slut?

 

Tired? Poor thing! Put ya feet up for awhile while I run with your baton. ( I'm gonna enjoy this.)

 

 

Why is a man who rescuses an abused wife from a bad relatinship a white knight but

 

Why is a woman who rescuses an abused husband from a bad relatinship a home wrecker

 

 

Why is a wife who talks back standing up for her rights but

 

Why is a husband who talks back a wife basher and an emotional abuser

 

 

Why is a man who looks at a passing beauty a %^&* but

 

Why is a wife, engaging in mutual masturbation, with a total stranger, on the dance floor engaging in a bit of harmless "flirting"

 

 

Why is it sexism if its a male only club but

Feminism if its a female only club

 

 

Why is a man regarded as a failure if he can't get a job but

 

Why is a woman only regarded as a failure if she can't get a man, ( wether the paticular man is worth getting is irelevant)

 

 

Why are little girls allowed to play with boys toys like tonka trucks but

 

Why are little boys not allowed play with girls toys like baby dolls

 

(An interesting question as a husband is far more likely to have to change the diaper on a real baby than a wife is likely to have to change the tyre on a real truck.)

 

 

That will do for the moment.

 

Anybody else like to run with the olde double standrads baton for a stretch.??

[sparticuss]

When men get sex they score.

When women give sex they have been conquered.

 

So, a woman who gives it up is considered a loser.

 

Sorry, I would change these rules for all eternity if I could. However, I am not god.

 

You may consider a woman who gives up her sex as a loser.

I consider a woman who gives up on trying to change these "rules" as a loser.

 

You don't need to be God. You just need a little courage and integrity and a good dose of persistence.

 

And above all, you cannot be thinking like a loser.

 

Think you can't change the "rules".? Take a look through recent American history when blacks were "ruled" as an inferior species of human. A few non losers, such as Abe Lincon and Martin Luther King (one black one, one white one! ) got hold of the "rules" and changed them.

[JayKay]

Mmmm, I remember about a year ago someone on LS posted a 'Let's Take a Slut Poll' thread and it ran for months.

 

There was so much argueing and debating over what constitues 'slutty' behavior......with some people practically condemning a woman to hell for daring to like sex with more than one partner in her lifetime!

 

Unfortunately, old stereotypes die hard. Men have historically found a woman's sexuality frightening. In efforts to 'control' her wanton desires, women were required to be frigid (Victorian era) or crippled (there are ethnic groups that have surgically removed a girl's clitoris to prevent sexual pleasure)

completely covered from head to toe (Middle East) or put to death for suspected adultery with no legal ramifications for the male killer (South America)

 

Fortunately, in modern America women enjoy more freedom than they ever have. However, we are still shaking off some of that moral prudery trucked over to these states by the faithful Puritans so many years ago.....

 

 

 

A guy is 'playing the field' when he dates a lot but a woman is 'desperate'

 

A guy who has lots of orgasms is 'just being a guy' but a woman is 'out of control'

 

A guy who visits sex clubs is 'sowing wild oats' but a woman is 'a freak'

 

 

 

I once had an argument with someone who presented the 'woman as receptacle' theory (i.e. because someone is 'entering' you, you're being 'invaded and conquered', so to speak)

 

That is one of the most inane things I have ever heard, first off.....

 

Can you imagine if women had penises and men had vaginas? Then argument would be, "Well, every time a woman is with a man, he takes some of her essence. So having sex weakens women but strengthens the man. That's why women are the weaker sex..."

 

I mean, seriously!

[mopar crazy]

I think a man thinks a woman is a slut if she gives out easily b/c basically she is easy, and there is no challange there for the guy, does that make sense? Some men like that challange and having the woman just jump right into bed w/ you isn't a challange, they like the game of trying to get in your pants, it's a game to them. Am I off on that guys?

 

As for women thinking other women are sluts, well part of it's jealousy. If a woman gives herself out so easily and to so many men she doesn't have much respect for herself.

 

I remember back in HS I was seeing a guy off an on. He started dating a girl in my school so I stopped seeing him. A few months passed and I ran into him and he said they had broken up. So, we ended up making out (no sex) and he gave me a hicki. The next day at school a friend asked me who I got it from so I told her. She went and told the exGF and come to find out they never broke up! I was so pi$$ed at him and when she found out s*** hit the fan. I was still a virgin but I could not walk down the halls w/o hearing "Here comes the slut of America!" I was called a slut so many times my junior year I lost count. How can someone be a slut if they are a virgin? Stupid HS crap.

[sparticuss]

Can you imagine if women had penises and men had vaginas? Then argument would be, "Well, every time a woman is with a man, he takes some of her essence. So having sex weakens women but strengthens the man. That's why women are the weaker sex..."

 

I mean, seriously!

 

I'm a shocker for gender reversing but you have truly out done me this time.

[JayKay]

I'll take that as a compliment, Spart...

[Owl]

Huh....

 

Well, I don't know about ya'll, but the crowd I tend to hang out with views people who sleep around a lot as the same, whether they're men or women. Makes no difference...it's still the BEHAVIOR that is wrong, regardless of the gender.

 

If you choose to sleep with a number of people, that is entirely your choice to do so. As long as you're an adult, you're fully capable of making your own decisions...and dealing with whatever the consequences of those choices are. Personally, I'm not interested in hearing about ANYONE's numerous sexual exploits, regardless of gender.

[whichwayisup]

Problem really is that EVERYBODY in life judges others to a point. You see a woman walking down the street, dressed with some cleavage showing, the skirt hiked up high enough, what GOES through your mind? Honestly.

 

Ya see some guy, dressed with chains and an open shirt, overkill with the cologne, a smirky smile on his face? What goes through your mind?

 

We all make assumptions too much in life. It starts off SO early in life. Little boys and girls, you know the drill. A boy can't cry cuz then he's a wuss. A girl who plays baseball or loves to be wild and crazy (like a little boy) is automatically called butchy or a tomboy. A boy plays with a doll. (OH no, he is gonna be gay!)

 

So, as adults, that crap doesn't change, does it? Malciously or not, WE all put labels on others, whether it's just a gut reaction or not it just happens.

 

The key is NOT to let anybody else's judgements bother you! WHO cares! What counts is how you feel inside and how happy whatever it is you are doing is good and not hurting people. If a guy wants to bang xx amount of women in a week, GOOD for him! He's happy...If a woman wants to do the same thing (bang a guy) xx amounts of time per week, good for her! WTF. I'm so sick of hearing it! On TV, on here, out and about. People just love to have their 2 cents heard and screw what others might feel when those comments are made. Rant done.

[FireReady]

The question should be... why do you, as a woman, let it get to you? Who cares if you sleep around? Who cares if you're as open as the stereotype is? It's your body and your choice so screw (figuratively and literally) everyone else

More power to us all!!! Go with the attitude that your gender doesn't matter in these things and guess what? It really won't matter... (besides, you've at least got the advantage of picking up some tricks to enhance the experience instead of lying on your back like a board, afraid ofyour own shadow)

[Can't Settle]

The question should be... why do you, as a woman, let it get to you? Who cares if you sleep around? Who cares if you're as open as the stereotype is? It's your body and your choice so screw (figuratively and literally) everyone else

More power to us all!!! Go with the attitude that your gender doesn't matter in these things and guess what? It really won't matter... (besides, you've at least got the advantage of picking up some tricks to enhance the experience instead of lying on your back like a board, afraid ofyour own shadow)

I don't know if it so much bothers me, it's the fact that it's really hard at my job. None of the women like me, because they know I screw around with the guys at work. It's hard working with a bunch of women who treat ya like crap, it doesn't make the work place an easy place to be. I just basically leave the women alone and just talk with the guys. My last evaluation with working with co-workers wasn't exactly very good because I have gotten into verbal arguements with some of the women.

[FireReady]

For what goes on in office politics, I can't really comment to you, but I do think you're blaming your sexual freedom on it... which may or may not be responsible, but I find it hard to believe that you're the only woman in your work place who is comfortable enough in her skin to be open sexually. Still, that's just an assumption I'm making.

 

By the way, there's this great place where you can talk about these kind of things and women are in the same mindframe as you, it's called "girlstalkaboutitall" and I suggest you check it out.

 

You should feel good about yourself no matter what, but don't rely on society to deem what's acceptable. That doesn't however, mean that you should say Bah to society, simply that you should listen to yourself first and foremost.

[sparticuss]

I think a man thinks a woman is a slut if she gives out easily b/c basically she is easy, and there is no challange there for the guy, does that make sense? Some men like that challange and having the woman just jump right into bed w/ you isn't a challange, they like the game of trying to get in your pants, it's a game to them. Am I off on that guys?

 

mopar

 

I think a man thinks a woman is a slut if she gives out easily b/c basically she is easy, and there is no challange there for the guy, does that make sense? Some men like that challange and having the woman just jump right into bed w/ you isn't a challange, they like the game of trying to get in your pants, it's a game to them. Am I off on that guys?

 

You are so far off it isn't funny. Tis is one of the classic old spinsters tales.

 

The girls, not the guys, enjoy the thrill of the chase. Or more specificly their egos enjoy being considered worth chasing. Its an ego thing with the girls.

The guys tolerate the chase for the sex and the end of it but they don't enjoy it.

 

Guys actually like girls who are easy but they actually prefer girls who are deserate or, better still, not desperate but just plain insaitable.

ie Fwooarr mate , shes dripping for it. She knows every lovers lane in ther place and she was creamng her pants before I enven had em off her. Hardly a girl who needs chasing!

As long as a guy knows he can never satisfy an insaitable girl its a lot of fun trying to.

[damwinston]

I think that Eleanor Roosevelt said it best - "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

When I was with the MM the wife called me every name in the book. It didn't make me mad really because I know the truth. I didn't wreck their home - they did that themselves (and she is psycho to boot).

Then again she has him so wrapped around her little finger that he is back with her and, I am sure he is happy about it.

But like I said before I am not a homewrecker and their relationship will not last and then he will find someone else - NOT ME!!!

Again no one can make you feel inferior without your consent (but granted it does help that she is wacko and he is no saint himself).

dammy

[mopar crazy]

I think a man thinks a woman is a slut if she gives out easily b/c basically she is easy, and there is no challange there for the guy, does that make sense? Some men like that challange and having the woman just jump right into bed w/ you isn't a challange, they like the game of trying to get in your pants, it's a game to them. Am I off on that guys?

 

mopar

 

I think a man thinks a woman is a slut if she gives out easily b/c basically she is easy, and there is no challange there for the guy, does that make sense? Some men like that challange and having the woman just jump right into bed w/ you isn't a challange, they like the game of trying to get in your pants, it's a game to them. Am I off on that guys?

 

You are so far off it isn't funny. Tis is one of the classic old spinsters tales.

 

The girls, not the guys, enjoy the thrill of the chase. Or more specificly their egos enjoy being considered worth chasing. Its an ego thing with the girls.

The guys tolerate the chase for the sex and the end of it but they don't enjoy it.

 

Guys actually like girls who are easy but they actually prefer girls who are deserate or, better still, not desperate but just plain insaitable.

ie Fwooarr mate , shes dripping for it. She knows every lovers lane in ther place and she was creamng her pants before I enven had em off her. Hardly a girl who needs chasing!

As long as a guy knows he can never satisfy an insaitable girl its a lot of fun trying to.

 

Thanks for clearing that up for me sparticuss. I agree, as a woman, that it's the thrill of the chase for some and I know it was for me and some of the guys I dated. Once I had them, it didn't last long b/c I wasn't ready to settle down but they were.

[mopar crazy]

I think a man thinks a woman is a slut if she gives out easily b/c basically she is easy, and there is no challange there for the guy, does that make sense? Some men like that challange and having the woman just jump right into bed w/ you isn't a challange, they like the game of trying to get in your pants, it's a game to them. Am I off on that guys?

 

mopar

 

I think a man thinks a woman is a slut if she gives out easily b/c basically she is easy, and there is no challange there for the guy, does that make sense? Some men like that challange and having the woman just jump right into bed w/ you isn't a challange, they like the game of trying to get in your pants, it's a game to them. Am I off on that guys?

 

You are so far off it isn't funny. Tis is one of the classic old spinsters tales.

 

The girls, not the guys, enjoy the thrill of the chase. Or more specificly their egos enjoy being considered worth chasing. Its an ego thing with the girls.

The guys tolerate the chase for the sex and the end of it but they don't enjoy it.

 

Guys actually like girls who are easy but they actually prefer girls who are deserate or, better still, not desperate but just plain insaitable.

ie Fwooarr mate , shes dripping for it. She knows every lovers lane in ther place and she was creamng her pants before I enven had em off her. Hardly a girl who needs chasing!

As long as a guy knows he can never satisfy an insaitable girl its a lot of fun trying to.

 

 

Just wanted to add one more thing, sparticuss. When it comes down to a man wanting to get serious and get M do they really honestly want a woman that likes to sleep around and who is easy? Is a woman that loves to sleep around w/ no strings attatched really what a guy wants to get serious w/?

 

My H said that most guys wont get serious w/ a woman that has a reputation for sleeping w/ a lot of men b/c of trust issues. Maybe that's not true for all men, but I know from my H, and my brothers, that they would of never M a woman who had a reputation of sleeping w/ a lot of guys just for the fun of it.

[JayKay]

Maybe in most cases..

 

but my best friend (who is gorgeous) dated many many men within her circle of friends and acquaintances. So of course they all knew who she'd been with.

 

Didn't matter.

 

Every guy she dated would fall madly in love with her and propose marriage (or moving in together) despite the fact they knew she'd had multiple relationships prior.

 

I think they considered the challenge "I'm going to make this woman MINE" exciting.

[Woggle]

I could care less who a woman sleeps with but anybody male or female who sleeps with a married person has no class. I am sorry if that offends some people but it needs to be said.