Devildog Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 Okay, I stopped reading after the 3rd page of ALPHA bashing. So if this has been mentioned, tough crap! You end up in the "friend zone" with a woman because you allow it. You can be a good friend but still remind her that you see her as more than a person, but also a sex object. The best relationships start out as friends. So it is possible to be a friend and have real potential for more. You just have to make sure she knows you are interested in more if that possibility comes up. But don't wait around and not live your individual life hoping that happens. Nothing is black and white when it comes to relationships. If you are the extreme @ss you won't have any luck with a long term relationship, and if you are the doormat you are not going to have any luck either. You have to find the right shade of gray. That balance. If you are doing sweet things for a woman "just because" all the time, she doesn't have to do anything, doesn't have to work on her end of the relationship. And you find yourself being the doormat. But if you show her zero sweetness you become the jerk. Make a woman work for your niceness a bit. Don't drop everything for her, don't run and do everything she wants. But don't ignore her desires totally either. A super nice do-gooder is no more of a complete person than the super selfish jackass. A complete person has learned to balance those two parts in their life. And when you can master that balance, you will have your pick of women.
Author Enygmatic Posted December 17, 2005 Author Posted December 17, 2005 The last 2 posts made me think a lot. Both characters seem to be the same in two different extremes. It's kind of hard to master the balance between both of them but its also true that some girls react better to either one of those. How should you act if you dont really know how the person you are dealing with thinks. For example I acted the way I did because it seemed to me that it was what she liked. How can you tell what degree of niceness and badness should you act with? Do you ever get to know the real self of a person? Is it true that "People don't change, they just show you who they truly are".? i think that in order to know how to act first we need to understand everything I just asked...maybe I'm just wrong:s
Outcast Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 How should you act if you dont really know how the person you are dealing with thinks. The whole point is that you don't 'act' and you don't mould yourself to someone else's wishes. You be yourself and then look for someone who likes the real you, not the person you pretend to be. For example I acted the way I did because it seemed to me that it was what she liked. That will never, ever, ever work. That is exactly the wrong thing to do. How can you tell what degree of niceness and badness should you act with? You choose the kind of person you want to be, not the way you want to 'act'. Are you charitable? kind? Cranky? Funny? Quiet? BE WHO YOU ARE Do you ever get to know the real self of a person? If the person is courageous enough to show you. Is it true that "People don't change, they just show you who they truly are". ABSOLUTELY!!!
loony Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 Interesting comment loony...soo in order to be a nice guy you need to let the girl you commited to cheat on you....interesting. So should I say "go ahead, keep it in the low, screw as many friends as you want, anyway Im a nice guy so if I want to prove it I'll let you do whatever you want, turn back and leave....like a loser"..... Interesting Did I tell you to be a doormat?
loony Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 The last 2 posts made me think a lot. Both characters seem to be the same in two different extremes. It's kind of hard to master the balance between both of them but its also true that some girls react better to either one of those. How should you act if you dont really know how the person you are dealing with thinks. For example I acted the way I did because it seemed to me that it was what she liked. How can you tell what degree of niceness and badness should you act with? Do you ever get to know the real self of a person? Is it true that "People don't change, they just show you who they truly are".? i think that in order to know how to act first we need to understand everything I just asked...maybe I'm just wrong:s What Outcast said, just be who you are.
Art_Critic Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 You end up in the "friend zone" with a woman because you allow it. Word...... 1
loony Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 Originally Posted by Devildog You end up in the "friend zone" with a woman because you allow it. Word...... That's just not true. You end in the friend zone, because she didn't consider you to be relationship material. The only thing you can do to avoid this is to have no contact with her, so she won't consider you a friend at all, but just another dude who had tried to get in her pants once. Then you're a member of the "no friend zone".
reader Posted December 17, 2005 Posted December 17, 2005 "Probably not. People suck, generally speaking of course." JS17, you are hysterical. Alpha, You are always good for a laugh, too. Nice guys don't finish last. You don't want the girls that don't appreciate you. They'll just hurt you. Give it time. You never know, and it might be someone you least expect to click with. I think a nice, sane guy sounds great. Are there any? Just kidding...
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