Lil Honey Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Alpha: this is true LIL HONEY... and many women are attracted to masculine men. Being "nice" in an of itself is not considered masculine. That is a feminie trait. If a man is nice and has money that will attract women. Or if a man is nice and is good looking that will attract women. But "nice" alone will never work. MY definiton of nice is a man who treats me with respect, who will share in the responsibilities, who will put me right after the kids on his list of priorities (not after the truck and the cup holder), who will include me in his team to make life work.
mrB2006 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Loony, Again, I acknowledge that I was the one who didn't deliver. I was the fool. Now, I learned my lesson. And I learned it well. I can tell you that I will be more assertive next time.... mrB
alphamale Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Alpha: MY definiton of nice is a man who treats me with respect, who will share in the responsibilities, who will put me right after the kids on his list of priorities (not after the truck and the cup holder), who will include me in his team to make life work. So if an ugly man who works as a janitor and weight 350 lbs gives you respect and shares responsiblities and puts you #1 priority and makes you the captain of his "team" then that will work for you? I highly doubt it. LIL HONEY you have neglected to mention that you definition of "nice man" includes you being physically atracted to him and him having a decent job/income and being able to father genetically sound children.
SmoochieFace Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 LIL HONEY you have neglected to mention that you definition of "nice man" includes you being physically atracted to him and him having a decent job/income and being able to father genetically sound children. Perhaps LH (as well as many women, it seems) isn't a devoted disciple of that ridiculous myth.
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Look MRB2006....females are ruled by their emotions and their feelings and nothing more. When it comes to being attracted to men they look for the ones that can stir up both GOOD AND BAD feeling and emotions in them. If you cannot do this then you are relegated to "friends" status forever. Some men are naturals at stiring emotinons and feelings in women. Some men can learn it over time and with experience. And some men will never be able to do it. I agree and also disagree with you here. At some point, yes the emotions DO rule but wtf is the difference between a woman being led by her emotions/feelings and a man being led by his COCK! Difference is, men can push rational thoughts and feelings OUT of their heads, and women have a tougher time doing that. It's how WOMEN look at sex as a whole, not just a f***, like many men do. And, if a woman enjoys that rollercoaster ride of having a man push her buttons (make her feel good and bad) then that is her choice. I, myself don't really enjoy being dicked around and treated like crap. I guess I don't understand WHY a guy has to make a woman feel like s*** and bring out the bad... Each to their own. Some women like badboys, some don't. Some men like gals like are hot and just wanna screw, no strings. Eventually that has to get tiresome and lonely. And then there are some men who have the whole package, can be nice, be a good kind person and at the same time be tough and firm at times...Respectfully. Without being a sexist and not crossing the line.
mrB2006 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Alphamale, I agree with you. However, at the time I thought I had stirred those good and bad emotions. We enjoyed talking a lot about everything from politics to current events. I know that my opinions got to her. In fact there were some instances where we had heated exchanges. (I can be VERY radical in my beliefs). Now, I know that 'heated debates' are stretching it in the 'bad boy' department. There were moments where we were almost yelling at each other over silly topics. But I also showed her my good side by agreeing with her on occasion. And even after the yelling we would stop and laugh at each other. She even told me how much she enjoyed talking with me. I took that as a postive sign-If she thought that I was an a**hole or a pushover, she wouldn't have wanted to hang around me that much...but we spent several days out the week hanging out. I guess I was a bit naive. But that was the extent of the 'bad boy'-ness in me. mrB
loony Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 So if an ugly man who works as a janitor and weight 350 lbs gives you respect and shares responsiblities and puts you #1 priority and makes you the captain of his "team" then that will work for you? I highly doubt it. LIL HONEY you have neglected to mention that you definition of "nice man" includes you being physically atracted to him and him having a decent job/income and being able to father genetically sound children. Excuse me, but who said that 'nice' was all that women wanted?? And who said that a good-looking idiot had more chances with us?
itwontdawnsooner Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 can you really trust a person who never gets angry? someone who bends all the time? not interesting to either sex!
loony Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Alphamale, I agree with you. However, at the time I thought I had stirred those good and bad emotions. We enjoyed talking a lot about everything from politics to current events. I know that my opinions got to her. In fact there were some instances where we had heated exchanges. (I can be VERY radical in my beliefs). Now, I know that 'heated debates' are stretching it in the 'bad boy' department. There were moments where we were almost yelling at each other over silly topics. But I also showed her my good side by agreeing with her on occasion. And even after the yelling we would stop and laugh at each other. She even told me how much she enjoyed talking with me. I took that as a postive sign-If she thought that I was an a**hole or a pushover, she wouldn't have wanted to hang around me that much...but we spent several days out the week hanging out. I guess I was a bit naive. But that was the extent of the 'bad boy'-ness in me. mrB I think you have to learn a couple of more things. Intellectual compatibility is all nice and dandy, but it still not might get the sparks flying. And disagreeing with her doesn't mean you're a bad boy and agreeing with her doesn't mean you're a nice boy.
Outcast Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 I think you have to learn a couple of more things. Intellectual compatibility is all nice and dandy, but it still not might get the sparks flying. And disagreeing with her doesn't mean you're a bad boy and agreeing with her doesn't mean you're a nice boy. And most of all, that just because someone doesn't want to continue a relationship with you doesn't mean you did anything wrong or that there's anything wrong with you. You were just not well-matched.
mrB2006 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Again Loony I said that it was a stretch...Also I acknowledged that I was naive....
mrB2006 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Outcast, I agree. Maybe we were mis-matched. But I think we were intellectually compatible..
alphamale Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 but it still not might get the sparks flying. a perfect example of a man getting the sparks flying in a woman is contain in the movie Gone With The Wind.... observe how Rhett treats and manipulates Scarlett. That is how a man gets a woman to fall in love with him.
loony Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Again Loony I said that it was a stretch...Also I acknowledged that I was naive.... I think deep down you still cling to Alphamale & Noclobber's theory. If you even thought that disagreeing meant you were a bit of a bad boy then you really have to work on yourself. This is not "naive", this is lack of self-confidence.
mrB2006 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Alpha, You bring up an interesting point. Although it is just a movie, it does speak a little truth... However, I admired Rhett, because he didnt take any crap from people. Scarlett is hailed as being a great heroine...I always that that she was a selfish b*tch. mrB
loony Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 a perfect example of a man getting the sparks flying in a woman is contain in the movie Gone With The Wind.... observe how Rhett treats and manipulates Scarlett. That is how a man gets a woman to fall in love with him. Didn't she want this other guy first? What's his name again? And who's saying that all women are like her and want to be treated like crap??
blue16 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 O.K.- I was originally under the impression that a woman would find a guy attractive who was honest and kind and wasnt' interested in getting in her panties in a hurry. And wouldn't it be great to really know a person before you commit to anything. That was the approach I took, the friends route. It obviously didn't work out for me. mrB That's a copout, IMO. There's a difference between meeting a girl, thinking she is so-so, but spending some time with her. Then after a couple months (if that long) you start to develop feelings, and then make your move. Theres nothing you can do about that, if you developed an attraction for her after a period of time. However, when your original intention was to be more than friends...and you decide to take the 'friend route' that's hiding your true feelings. Although it's nice to get to know the person, when you are sitting there being a 'friend' when you really want more - that's not playing it right, and that's when you get in trouble. Going back somewhat to the original topic, it gets tiresome when 'bad boys' are mentioned in a negative tone. Sure, some guys are huge jerks and theres every reason to bad mouth them when needed. But a lot of time a 'bad boy' is really just a confident guy who doesn't give a s*** what people think about him. He isn't scared to offend, just says whatever is on his mind most of the time. Most of the time when people think a 'bad boy' is being a jerk, usually he's just being sarcastic or doing it in a fun way. In a lot of these cases, the guy is actually nice, but not nice in the traditional doormat sense. A lot of girls love this attitude. I remember back in high school and in-class a teacher used the word 'rough' in a sentence. The guy sitting behind me then says "Ashley likes it rough" (the girl sitting next to him) At the time, I was thinking "Wow what a jerk..." but she was loving it. I realize now that he obviously wasn't being serious, he was just pretending to be mean but in actuality he was being sarcastic. He wasn't afraid to say something daring even at the risk of offending the girl. Whereas a nice guy is very careful not to offend the girl, is eager to please because he cares so much about what she thinks about him. That's where the 'bad boy' just does whatever he wants without obsessing about what the girl is gonna think about him. A 'nice guy' often times ends up being very boring, because he's always so worried about saying the wrong thing to a girl so she doesn't think about him in a bad light. A 'bad boy' is a lot more interesting and attractive, as he is much more harder to get than the doormat nice guy (in addition to the many other reasons).
noclobber Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Well, my experiences speak differently. I get to know women first before taking any additional steps. I have never just asked someone out right off the bat - I wouldn't do that anyway. And no woman has asked me out right off the bat either. Every relationship I have been in the woman asked me out and it wasn't right after meeting me for the first time... it was several days or weeks of getting to know me before they asked me out. The best relationships occur when they are based on factors deeper than just physical appearance. Doubt me all you want but the majority of stable long-term relationships are more or less like the ones I've had. wow for some reason i thought that u were actually a female.. i do agree with u and personally i wud be glad if things went that way... getting to know the person first and then ask them out. but its my opinion that if u don't ask out a woman soon enough then they will just push u into the friend-zone and of course u cannot come out of that... it just sucks when they do it but i have come to accept it rather than questioning... now i may be wrong but again i am only telling my opinion...
mrB2006 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Loony, Don't get me started on my opinions....I can p*ss a lot of people. Even though I am an introvert, there have been times where I have been VERY vocal in my opinions. I am not saying that disagreeing with someone makes you a bad boy. But if you really knew me, it would seem badboyish. (I am very, very quiet-but start debating about us foreign policy, or the crappy music on the air waves, or the food at a new restaurant, and I WILL give you an opinion worth hearing. (I know a lot of people despise the political hack shows on cable tv, but I love em. I like being an intellectual bad boy. All I am saying is that I am very opinionated. But that is as far as my bad-boyishness goes...
Outcast Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Scarlett is hailed as being a great heroine... By whom? I always that that she was a selfish b*tch Agreed. And it doesn't show that women fall for Alpha males, but rather that Alpha males will stupidly follow beautiful bitches all over the place while they get mistreated constantly. She first wanted Ashley - the nicest guy ever. What she realized was that Rhett wasn't a brute but rather a smart dude who called her bluff. However he was still an idiot for chasing her when she was nothing but a spoiled little brat.
Outcast Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 will just push u into the friend-zone and of course u cannot come out of that Got news for you, bub. Lots of folks marry people they started out as friends with.
mrB2006 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Blue16 How many more times do I have to say this? I BLEW MY CHANCES. I was ineffectual. The route *"I"* went led me directly to the Friendzone. That was all I was getting at. I wasn't being true to myself by keeping my feelings hidden. I loved her and should have let her known sooner. But I didn't. Again, it was my FAULT. I learned my lesson......and I learned it well.... MrB
Outcast Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Alp, people remembering 'back to high school' aren't exactly awash in experience
SmoochieFace Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 wow for some reason i thought that u were actually a female.. Surprising, isn't it? Not ALL guys think alike. i do agree with u and personally i wud be glad if things went that way... getting to know the person first and then ask them out. but its my opinion that if u don't ask out a woman soon enough then they will just push u into the friend-zone and of course u cannot come out of that... it just sucks when they do it but i have come to accept it rather than questioning... now i may be wrong but again i am only telling my opinion... But that's just it: things DO go *that way*... maybe not for YOU but it DOES happen. This is why generalizations are almost always wrong and therefore should not be relied upon. The only time I was in any *friend zone* with a female was with a woman who was gay (for obvious reasons). She and I were friends for a while during the time that I was single. All other women in my life were more than just friends. It DOES work. Trust me.
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