TUDOR Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Guys that make comments like "nice guys finish last" are failing to realize their "nice guy" attitude ins't the bigger problem or reason they didn't get the girl. A comment like that is often a result of lack of confidense and the lack of confidense is the problem. Bad boys don't get girls just because they are bad but they do tend to be more confidant. Grab your sack and get in there with some confidence and stop thinking being nice is some sort of cryptonite.
mrB2006 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Enygmatic: I understand where you are coming from. Now, I know that I am the last person on earth that should be giving you advice on this (the threads that outcast wanted you to read-one of them was mine), But here goes: Try not to obsess over this. Be more confident in who you are. Believe me, my problems kind of mirror yours....I am polite (99 percent of the time-ha) with others, I don't treat women like they are meat, and I try to be my ownself. My problem is that I come across as insecure. I try hard not to cause a 'conflict'. However, this insecurity can be seen as unattractive. And after seeing the light, I tend to agree. Also, if you are obsessing over one girl, stop. My problem was that I obsessed over my indecisiveness with my 'friend'. I didn't make a move, therefore I lost. I missed my opportunity because I didn't want to cause 'conflict' with my friend. But there are other opportunities out there. Believe it or not, I have a blind date set up for early next week. And I am looking forward to that, considering the time wasted on my 'friend'. Dust yourself off and move on. I realize that it is hard (it is hard for me) but you gotta keep moving. To sum it up: Don't change your 'good' guy manners. Just try to improve on your confidence. I know what you are going through. I have been in the same boat and it is complete torture. But stay positive. And be true to yourself. mrB
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 To sum it up: Don't change your 'good' guy manners. Just try to improve on your confidence. That's what I said too. Confidence is EVERYTHING!
lindya Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 The poster should read ALL advice given and then make his OWN decision. This isn't a who gives the best advice contest! Exactly. Alpha's advice is basically about attracting the sort of woman who's not ready to make a commitment (or possibly never will be) but who thrives on drama and game playing. If that's who the poster wants to spend his time with then he might choose to follow alpha's advice. On the other hand, he might not want the sort of woman who would appeal to alpha. I'm sure there must be some male posters who have spent night after night listening to alpha-style advice from their friends...and would maybe appreciate the female perspective. Alpha, I know you derive some enjoyment from storming onto threads and telling men to ignore anything that women have to say. This board isn't all about you, though, and I'm sure there are a lot of posters who would appreciate a combination of perspectives.
alphamale Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 That's what I said too. Confidence is EVERYTHING! the problem is that its the "nice guys" who have little confidence. They care too much about offending women and are always appeasing them. The "bad boys" dont' give a shyt what women think and they do their own thing and have their own style. That is highly attractive to women. "Bad boys" exude masculinity and are not afraid and are more honest and up front about their intentions. I'm sure there must be some male posters who have spent night after night listening to alpha-style advice from their friends...and would maybe appreciate the female perspective. exactly how many romantic relationship have you had with women LINDAY??? If the answer is zero then you are not qualfied to give men advice about dating women.
loony Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Alpha, I know you derive some enjoyment from storming onto threads and telling men to ignore anything that women have to say. This board isn't all about you, though, and I'm sure there are a lot of posters who would appreciate a combination of perspectives. lindya is a bad bad girl, always picking up fights with people. Just kidding!
mrB2006 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Now, Alphamale, I am not going to comment on why everyone is ganging up on you here. I'll leave that alone...However, I agree with you about the tendencies of 'nice guys' not wanting to offend a woman. I think that was my problem. I didnt give in to my male instincts. I was too damn worried that I would make her cringe. I have learned now that for a nice guy to make a move, he must (within reason) drop the whole idea of appeasing a woman, and just 'do it'. mrB
noclobber Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Now, Alphamale, I am not going to comment on why everyone is ganging up on you here. the reason why everyone is ganging up on him is because he is the ALPHA MALE! and alpha-males always get all the attention
lindya Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 exactly how many romantic relationship have you had with women LINDAY??? If the answer is zero then you are not qualfied to give men advice about dating women. I think we've been here before... Most women on this board will have been on the receiving end of the formulaic approach. Some of them might like it in the same way that some people always like to eat at MacDonalds. Set game, set rules etc etc. Others might prefer men who act with a bit more spontaneity. Who spend their time getting to know the woman as an individual rather than part of some herd of uniform beings who all think and act alike. You've made it clear time and time again that you view women as all being pretty much the same and not particularly meriting respect. Not all men feel that way. Some actually like and respect women and want to form better relationships with them - and again, they might want to hear from women themselves rather than simply from.....you.
alphamale Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Some actually like and respect women and want to form better relationships with them - and again, they might want to hear from women themselves rather than simply from.....you. then when a woman is haveing relationship trouble with her man why is it that she gets advice from her female friends??? or if she wants to attract a man she asks other women how the do it.... women don't ask men about this stuff they ask women. And men should ask men...
noclobber Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Others might prefer men who act with a bit more spontaneity. Who spend their time getting to know the woman as an individual rather than part of some herd of uniform beings who all think and act alike. lindya, if men take the time to get to know the woman as an individual beyond just the physical attributes then they will be pushed into the friendzone in no time. as disturbing as it may sound it's only the guys that go only for the physical attributes that actually get the dates and of course all the fun!
SmoochieFace Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 ...it's only the guys that go only for the physical attributes that actually get the dates and of course all the fun! Completely ridiculous. Exactly how old are you, noclobber, and what *type* of women are you *going for*?
Outcast Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 then when a woman is haveing relationship trouble with her man why is it that she gets advice from her female friends??? or if she wants to attract a man she asks other women how the do it.... women don't ask men about this stuff they ask women. And men should ask men... Because when you're looking a man in the eyeballs, he's not about to spill his guts. LS is anonymous therefore people can ask people of the opposite gender for the unvarnished truth and get it. No woman here has to say 'of course your qualities are all wonderful, dear' because the guy who's asking isn't interested in her or someone she's loath to hurt. lindya, if men take the time to get to know the woman as an individual beyond just the physical attributes then they will be pushed into the friendzone in no time. That's a myth - perpetrated only by the very young.
SmoochieFace Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 then when a woman is haveing relationship trouble with her man why is it that she gets advice from her female friends??? or if she wants to attract a man she asks other women how the do it.... women don't ask men about this stuff they ask women. And men should ask men... Admit it, Alpha. You have considerable hostility towards women to the point where you dislike them or even hate them. However, it's not the women who are the problem. It's you. You dislike yourself because of your inadequacies and insecurities and you are projecting them on the women.
loony Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 I think a reason why women tend to put these "nice" guys into the friends zone is that they have intuitively figured out that these guys are whiners and just waiting for an opportunity to unleash this wild beast on them. Roar. You think you were unjustly put into the friends zone? - No way, it's because we have a sixth sense and can look into the future. Actually ist just some kind of test. A false nice guy will start whining. A truly nice guy will accept it and try to make it better next time. The fact that you're whining just confirms our suspicion that you are not going to make it.
noclobber Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Completely ridiculous. Exactly how old are you, noclobber, and what *type* of women are you *going for*? ha ha.. u can laugh as much as u want. but that's the truth.. and i am sure none of the women wud agree to this but i don't care.. if i appreciate a woman because of the wonderful person that she is i will become her friend. if i appreciate a woman because of how wonderful she looks then i will become her boyfriend. go figure!
alphamale Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 That's a myth - perpetrated only by the very young. then why is it that physically attractive members of both sexes and of all ages can attract ten members of the opposite sex just by snapping a finger?
SmoochieFace Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 ha ha.. u can laugh as much as u want. but that's the truth.. and i am sure none of the women wud agree to this but i don't care.. if i appreciate a woman because of the wonderful person that she is i will become her friend. if i appreciate a woman because of how wonderful she looks then i will become her boyfriend. go figure! That may work if you're in high school or even college but not in the *real world*. Keep that belief and you will grow up old and alone. Maybe with a bunch of little *conquests* but still old and alone. You have a lot of learning to do. A lot.
SmoochieFace Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 then why is it that physically attractive members of both sexes and of all ages can attract ten members of the opposite sex just by snapping a finger? Oh boy... from where did you read that? Care to post a link?
Outcast Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 then why is it that physically attractive members of both sexes and of all ages can attract ten members of the opposite sex just by snapping a finger? Because people who are still immature (and there are a lot of them) still think that looks and personality go hand-in-hand and that beauty signifies perfection in all aspects of life. Or else they're just out for sex.
alphamale Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Care to post a link? is there a website for common knowledge or common sense?
noclobber Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 That may work if you're in high school or even college but not in the *real world*. Keep that belief and you will grow up old and alone. Maybe with a bunch of little *conquests* but still old and alone. You have a lot of learning to do. A lot. actually i used to think the other way round until i got burnt and learnt from my own experiences.... i am not trying to get at u smoochieface but just think about it... women agree to date a stranger that asks them out. now that guy hardly knows anything about her as a person.. the only thing that he knows is that she is physically attractive (and that's why he asked her out) and nothing else... compare this with a guy friend of the same woman. he wud know about her as a complete person.. heck he wud have even seen her without her make-up.. if he asks her out do u think the woman wud go out with him? no way.. she will say "oh i only like u as a friend"... hahaha
Outcast Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 is there a website for common knowledge or common sense? 'Common sense' is not about believing myths based on anecdotal evidence. That is actually a sign of an intellect that is a little too full of itself. 'Common sense' is, for instance, knowing that making a blanket negative statement about all women will be untrue and will anger many women because it is untrue.
SmoochieFace Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 is there a website for common knowledge or common sense? Look, Alphie, that assertion of yours only applies to certain types of men and women - not everyone - so quit with the ridiculous generalizations.
SmoochieFace Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 actually i used to think the other way round until i got burnt and learnt from my own experiences.... i am not trying to get at u smoochieface but just think about it... women agree to date a stranger that asks them out. now that guy hardly knows anything about her as a person.. the only thing that he knows is that she is physically attractive (and that's why he asked her out) and nothing else... compare this with a guy friend of the same woman. he wud know about her as a complete person.. heck he wud have even seen her without her make-up.. if he asks her out do u think the woman wud go out with him? no way.. she will say "oh i only like u as a friend"... hahaha Well, my experiences speak differently. I get to know women first before taking any additional steps. I have never just asked someone out right off the bat - I wouldn't do that anyway. And no woman has asked me out right off the bat either. Every relationship I have been in the woman asked me out and it wasn't right after meeting me for the first time... it was several days or weeks of getting to know me before they asked me out. The best relationships occur when they are based on factors deeper than just physical appearance. Doubt me all you want but the majority of stable long-term relationships are more or less like the ones I've had.
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