Enygmatic Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 I've been all my life a gentleman, I know how to treat women, make them feel good but above all I respect them. When I get into a relationship everything is just fine until they find someone else that is not even half of what I am. They choose someone that they know will humilliate them. They know this type of guys wont give them respect but they still stick with them and leave me aside. Whats the problem?!. Do you have to be a bit*h in life so people like you and respect you? do women just like asses? or Im just wrong and need to change, lose all my values, principles and become an a*shole?
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 You can still be a nice person, respecting women and be loving and giving...Just be CONFIDENT in yourself and know when to say no, stand up for yourself and not be a pushover. Doesn't mean you have to treat someone like crap - Being assertive and tough is GOOD at times. Noone wants a happy-go-lucky boyfriend or girlfriend. Some women need high drama in their lives, alot of ups and downs to keep them around so therefore they go for the bad boy who usually they're very sexually attracted to and that brings out alot of passion in them. The thing about that passion and rollercoaster ride is, it gets tiresome after a while. Many women are looking for nice guys. Just not the ones who don't have a backbone or are indecisive and insecure. Don't change WHO are you, and what you believe in, for anybody!! But if you find you have hangups and insecurities at all, maybe work on them and gain some self confidence. (Not saying you DO have those traits...)
Outcast Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 They don't. We have had many many threads on this. For 200 answers to your question, read http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t76762/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t76348/?highlight=nice+guys
Author Enygmatic Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 Thanks for the advise and the links. It sucks when your girl cheats on you for a midget with no prescence. Maybe shes not worth my pain
JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Maybe shes not worth my pain Probably not. People suck, generally speaking of course.
Outcast Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Maybe shes not worth my pain That's exactly it. The problem is her, not you. A person who would cheat isn't able to appreciate a nice guy. So the key is not to quit being nice, but to try to find a woman who appreciates you being nice.
Walk Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 until they find someone else that is not even half of what I am Are you positive it's not because you have an overblown ego and think you are better then every one else? I had an ex who was the classic "nice guy", but his ego was unberable. Always about him. him him him him... His friends made jokes about it. You know that country song that says it's all about you. They inserted his name into it. He was a super nice guy. He just thought he was superior to everyone. Personally, I hated it. I'd rather find a midget with some modesty and balance, then be with that guy.
alphamale Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 ENYGMATIC....don't take advice on dealing with or dating women from women. Get advice from men who are successful with women. I guess you could also ask a lesbian female who has been successful with women also.
Art_Critic Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 I'd rather find a midget with some modesty and balance, then be with that guy. till you found out that in order to live with him you would have to revamp your whole house and lower the countertops Nice guys don't finish last.. it's a myth Jerks finish last..
Outcast Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 ENYGMATIC....don't take advice on dealing with or dating women from women. Get advice from men who are successful with women. I guess you could also ask a lesbian female who has been successful with women also. You need to define your terms, Alpha. A lot of people don't consider 'sleeping with a succession of strangers' to be 'success with women'.
SmoochieFace Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 You need to define your terms, Alpha. A lot of people don't consider 'sleeping with a succession of strangers' to be 'success with women'. Exactly... I was thinking the same thing. It all depends on how one defines *success with women*. If *success* is defined by being able to fill up a black book with booty calls and nothing 'serious' then Alpha would be your ideal coach. OTOH, if you are seeking out a woman for a serious, committed, and mature RELATIONSHIP then you may wish to look elsewhere for advice.
JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Nice guys don't finish last.. it's a myth Jerks finish last.. Damn. I always thought it was nice girls finish last.
alphamale Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Exactly... I was thinking the same thing. It all depends on how one defines *success with women*. i would define it as having sex with them and being able to keep them around... If *success* is defined by being able to fill up a black book with booty calls and nothing 'serious' then Alpha would be your ideal coach. OTOH, if you are seeking out a woman for a serious, committed, and mature RELATIONSHIP then you may wish to look elsewhere for advice. how are you going to find a woman for a serious commited mature relationship if you cannot get numbers in the black book? #1 begets #2, in other words....you need to be able to get and keep women in order to have a serious mature relationship.
Walk Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 till you found out that in order to live with him you would have to revamp your whole house and lower the countertops Ha!! No, I'd finally be able to reach all the cubboards and could kiss a guy without making him bend in half to reach me. Sex while both standing up would suddenly be an option. I'm 58" tall, and gonna shrink with age. Show me da midgets!
Art_Critic Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Damn. I always thought it was nice girls finish last. Define Finish ???
SmoochieFace Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 i would define it as having sex with them and being able to keep them around... So not *relating* to them except on a purely physical level... got it. how are you going to find a woman for a serious commited mature relationship if you cannot get numbers in the black book? #1 begets #2, in other words....you need to be able to get and keep women in order to have a serious mature relationship. Well, truth be told, I've never had a *black book*... it never was any goal of mine to go out and *conquer* as many women as possible. I have been in six relationships (no one night stands, thank god) and they were not based solely on sex so no need for any *book* to collect numbers for booty calls. Black books are not required unless you are a dating addict.
loony Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 ENYGMATIC....don't take advice on dealing with or dating women from women. Get advice from men who are successful with women. I guess you could also ask a lesbian female who has been successful with women also. Guys who want a relationship should ask women who are also interested in a relationship. Further they'd better not accept advice from commitmentphobic Casanovas who are not looking for a relationship. But I'm afraid a guy who makes a posts and claims that it's nice guys who finish last is very likely not interested in taking self-responsibility and working on his issues. It's just too easy to blame it on others. I'll promise not to pick on Alpha for a week when this guy here is the exception. I know how to treat women, make them feel good Most people who make such a claim, do not know it and do not do it.
alphamale Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Well, truth be told, I've never had a *black book*... it never was any goal of mine to go out and *conquer* as many women as possible. I have been in six relationships (no one night stands, thank god) and they were not based solely on sex so no need for any *book* to collect numbers for booty calls. Black books are not required unless you are a dating addict. well SMOOCHIE...you still have not answered the question at hand. If a dude is considered too "nice" and cannot keep a woman interested for any length of time then how exactly is he going to have a mature, serious, long-term relationship with a woman?? Please answer.
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 ENYGMATIC....don't take advice on dealing with or dating women from women. Get advice from men who are successful with women. I guess you could also ask a lesbian female who has been successful with women also. Alpha, that was mean of you to say that! I don't think there was ANYTHING wrong with my advice. Why the heck should this guy BE something he's not? People can work on certain things to better themselves, but you cannot change yourself completely. Becoming more confident, more secure, worrying less what others think and doing what makes YOU happy is what counts. Pick the times and the battles when the time is RIGHT. Don't become a class one A-hole because that is what women want. THEY DON'T!! Trust me on that. Guys who want a relationship should ask women who are also interested in a relationship. Further they'd better not accept advice from commitmentphobic Casanovas who are not looking for a relationship. Good point. The poster should read ALL advice given and then make his OWN decision. This isn't a who gives the best advice contest!
Yamaha Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 ENYGMATIC....don't take advice on dealing with or dating women from women. Get advice from men who are successful with women. I guess you could also ask a lesbian female who has been successful with women also. Amen, Alpha. Why don't men take this advice? Ask the guys, please!!!!! If you want a direct answer we need more info to determine what you are doing that drives them off.
Yamaha Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Why the heck should this guy BE something he's not? People can work on certain things to better themselves, but you cannot change yourself completely. Because he's attracted to the women that treat him like sh*t, whichway. If you like those women then you may have to change something about yourself to keep them. It may just be some small thing that doesn't require a major personality overhaul.
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 I said just that silly! Just worded it differently than you. LOL!
SmoochieFace Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 well SMOOCHIE...you still have not answered the question at hand. If a dude is considered too "nice" and cannot keep a woman interested for any length of time then how exactly is he going to have a mature, serious, long-term relationship with a woman?? Please answer. You left off the *Coochie* part. *Nice* isn't the problem here... god, I sincerely wish people would stop using that word and instead call it by its TRUE name(s): Insecurity, spinelessness, doormatism... take your pick. Nothing to do with being *nice*. The dude in question should perhaps *grow a pair* as is frequently said here and quit being a doormat. Be *nice* but be a strong and confident individual who doesn't put up with s***. Anyway... back to your question... He can quit going for the *wrong* kind of women. Go for women who will appreciate his so-called *niceness* instead of going for young, insecure, drama-addicted girls. He should quit going for *party* girls who only want a so-called *good time* (sex). See, I never had this problem because every woman I have been with approached me. I never had to *go for* anyone.
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