grace2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Alright my girlfriend called me tonight and I told her its over. I said I'd still like to keep the friendship but she says maybe sometime down the road. Anyway I'm applying strict NC starting right now. We broke up before (she dumped me) and that lasted 2.5 months and she wanted to try again. At first I said we should stay friends longer but she kind of talked me into taking her back. We dated for a month before I broke it off with her over the phone tonight. I made a mistake taking her back. I decided to break it off before she has a chance to leave me again. Now my true healing begins. I'm hurting like hell right now but I had to do what I did tonight. I'm applying strict NC so I can get use to the idea of being single for the rest of my life. It's not just NC with her but NC with any women I meet in general. I just don't feel like talking to any women I run into in public places. The dating scene is not worth it anymore. Oh well nothing in life worth having comes easy. I can't sleep tonight.
cynicalnlove Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Alright my girlfriend called me tonight and I told her its over. I said I'd still like to keep the friendship but she says maybe sometime down the road. Anyway I'm applying strict NC starting right now. We broke up before (she dumped me) and that lasted 2.5 months and she wanted to try again. At first I said we should stay friends longer but she kind of talked me into taking her back. We dated for a month before I broke it off with her over the phone tonight. I made a mistake taking her back. I decided to break it off before she has a chance to leave me again. Now my true healing begins. I'm hurting like hell right now but I had to do what I did tonight. I'm applying strict NC so I can get use to the idea of being single for the rest of my life. It's not just NC with her but NC with any women I meet in general. I just don't feel like talking to any women I run into in public places. The dating scene is not worth it anymore. Oh well nothing in life worth having comes easy. I can't sleep tonight. wow, youre so negative about this. I remember i had vowed myself of what you had done. And it took 3 years of my life that I was single with absolute any contact with anyone of dating from the opposite sex. And you know what? I had a lot of fun. I've discovered so many things from myself; and I did everything that had only pleased me. I was a lot stronger as an individual. But the only downfall is that I knew that I had to enter the dating scene again. It had felt like i had just gotten out of a long term relationship with isolation, because I didn't know how to start. I would say, just take some time for yourself. don't go on too long like me; but just take sometime to do what you want; how to better yourself on your own. When you're ready to date again, you'll know. there's someone always compatible for someone, just don't loose the hope of love. It'll come to you when you least expect it, or when you're not even into the mood of dating.
Author grace2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 Here I am again. It is day 1 of NC. I'm weeping uncontrollably. Gosh it hurts whether I'm the dumpee or dumper. I still have not forgiven her for leaving me the first time. So I broke it off with her out of resentment and vengenance. The only part that feels good is that I hope she's hurting and sees how it feels to be rejected. I hope she goes through as much emotional hell as I am going through. It feels good that I don't have to hear from JDUB either. She's on ignore for a season. Now I can get on with the healing. I still think about suicide. It's in my thoughts. NC is the only way to move on. I should have just moved on the first time she dumped me instead of playing the waiting game for 2.5 months. Yeah she came back but then I had to deal with the resentment of her leaving in the first place. It's time for me to break out the knife! Gosh I'm f*cked up inside! Death might be the only cure for my pain
Author grace2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 I can think of several reasons now to stick to strict NC. Primarily for me is to help me move on and never look back. Secondarily is to seek revenge as a passive aggressive approach. Silence is a powerful weapon against your enemies! Anyway that's just the icing on the cake if it happens. The silent treatment is a worse punishment than negative attention! I would rather receive negative attention than to be ignored forever.
Author grace2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 I'm so negative about this??? Well the truth is usually negative. I have come to accept that. Reality is usually negative! Get use to it!
BrknHrt Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Your right, reality is negative. If you sit and think positive thoughts all your doing is getting your hopes up, yeah you'll feel better for a little while but the let down will hurt worse than ever. I've been setting myself up for the worst since the break-up and things that have happened or that I found out still hurt, but not nearly as bad since I was expecting them and had prepared myself.
Kengne II Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Here I am again. It is day 1 of NC. I'm weeping uncontrollably. Gosh it hurts whether I'm the dumpee or dumper. I still have not forgiven her for leaving me the first time. So I broke it off with her out of resentment and vengenance. The only part that feels good is that I hope she's hurting and sees how it feels to be rejected. I hope she goes through as much emotional hell as I am going through. It feels good that I don't have to hear from JDUB either. She's on ignore for a season. Now I can get on with the healing. I still think about suicide. It's in my thoughts. NC is the only way to move on. I should have just moved on the first time she dumped me instead of playing the waiting game for 2.5 months. Yeah she came back but then I had to deal with the resentment of her leaving in the first place. It's time for me to break out the knife! Gosh I'm f*cked up inside! Death might be the only cure for my pain At least you recognize your decision for what it is: spurred by anger, resentment and a desire to hurt her back like she hurt you mths earlier. Now that that's out in the open - I'm a little concerned about your continuous talks of death & cutting yourself. I think you really need to seek professional help, because cutting is not 'normal'. I'm not saying you're crazy... but I do think you have some psychological issues that need to be addressed. All this negative energy you're harboring is detrimental to your mental health... and IMO, the ONLY way to TRUE healing is to forgive those who have hurt you - & not try to hurt them back (as you have done). You even said it yourself - you have not forgiven her, EVEN THOUGH you took her back! Please take this time to forgive her for the pain she caused you, and move on with your life. That's just my 2 cents. Good luck, & take care! K.
scobro Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 I broke it off with her over the phone tonight thats lame!!
Author grace2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 thats lame!! How so? That's how she broke up with me the last time. It was over the phone. Now it's my turn!
Author grace2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 I shaved my head and beard today. Kiss it goodbye! I also went for a brisk walk. I wish dreamguy or lost_n_chgo were still here giving advice. I haven't heard from dreamguy since July 5th 2005. That was his last post. By the time his ex wanted to try again he didn't want to take her back. I think that was a smart move on his part. Dreamguy said that a man can smother a woman by calling several times a day or even everyday and that will push her away. At least I never did that. A man can also smother a woman by showing her affection in public, always saying "i love you" always apologizing for every little thing. I outta start posting on the thread about "NC from the dumper's perspective" although I don't feel any different than I did when I was the dumpee 3 months ago.
Author grace2005 Posted December 17, 2005 Author Posted December 17, 2005 There's alot of talk on here about "space violation"! I'm actually feeling numb tonight. I don't know how long that will last. Still in NC mode. It's been 24 hours. I guess the pain gets worse before it gets better during the NC period.
Author grace2005 Posted December 17, 2005 Author Posted December 17, 2005 I just deleted her phone number from my phone. I had my phone turned off all day today. This weekend when I get off from work I'm boxing up everything that reminds me of her. I'm not ready to throw it out yet. All the love letters, birthday cards, everything.
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