JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 I keep finding out that my ex boyfriends are meeting the loves of their life right after dating me. Has anyone else found themselves in this position before?
JayKay Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Actually once... I met this nice guy, dated him for 6 months, he broke it off. About 5 months after that I find out he's engaged. Weird, very weird. But honestly, I think he was going through some major middle life crisis and had long harbored some wild fantasy about marrying a young, European nanny so he went and did it.
Author JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 Well once isn't so bad but when it keeps happening it makes you really feel like there's something wrong with you.
Touche Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Happened to me more than once too. Funny, I used to think like you too. But now I've been married (happily) for a long time and I'm glad that I am my guy's last! And I'm thrilled that I wasn't any of those other guys' "last!" I REALLY believe if it's meant to be it will be.
Author JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 I'm not particularly upset about losing any of these guys, I don't think they were right for me but it doesn't change the facts or the way I feel about how things turned out. I feel really sick right now and my best friend is too drunk to talk to me.
Milo Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Several of my exes got married within one year of us breaking up. It didn't really affect me negatively. One girlfriend I was really happy for. She was always very kind to me, but we didn't click intellectually. I was very pleased to meet her fiance and went to the wedding. I trust they are still both happy. The other girlfriend also married a nice guy. I met him briefly at a party, once. She still harbours some ill will towards me, so I tend to stay away from her. She didn't expect our break-up.
Author JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 well at least i'm not alone. Unfortunately I'm always the one getting dumped.
johan Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Happened to me. I was with a girl for 4 years. We broke up. In a couple months she was with another guy who she married about a year later. Around my birthday. I'm waiting for the exciting news about my latest ex. Right about now she's probably met Mr. Right. The engagement clock should be ticking soon. Great feeling. Not sure how to deal with that. It's an ego thing. That's a big enough blow, I'm not sure you could just reason it away. But I'm up for making the effort, because I'm sick of suffering over these stupid women.
Milo Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 It's hard to be envious of other people's marriages when you have been in one yourself. Ha ha ha! The rose-tinted glasses mysteriously are fogged up.
Author JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 It's an ego thing. I think you're right. My self esteem never recovered from my relationship with my ex that brought me here (not this guy). This is only making it worse. anyone know how to make all of this go away?
Author JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 Where is Tricia and her baseball bat when you really need her?
tanbark813 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 I don't think my exes have found the loves of their lives after me. I just assume I left them broken and they're still pining for me. However, two of my exes--the two before my most recent ex--both got pregnant this year. One of them ended up marrying the guy and they're starting a family. The other is single, as far as I know, and I doubt even knows who the father is.
Author JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 How is that helpful Tanbark? I feel like I just got hit in the face with a 2x4
Walk Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 So these exSO's rush into marriage, but a year down the road they're remembering back to fonder times with you, while their new wife is nagging about how he never treats her good anymore, and all she wants is ____. It just seems like they found the "love of their life". (apperances) I bet if you could really see into their minds you'd see it's not so picture perfect. And in fact, there may be times they're looking back at memories with you as something they wish they had now. Don't get down on yourself about this. Or try not to. Just keep working on being who you want to be, and less time worrying on what they wanted you to be.
littlekitty Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 I keep finding out that my ex boyfriends are meeting the loves of their life right after dating me. Has anyone else found themselves in this position before? God yes!!! At one point it seemed like every parter I split with then went on to find the love of their life....!! It drove me mad!! What the bloody hell was it with me that made this happen!! Fortunately the spell seemed to get broken along the way. I know at least a couple have now split and the last ex is WAY away from being able to commit!!
Author JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 God yes!!! At one point it seemed like every parter I split with then went on to find the love of their life....!! It drove me mad!! What the bloody hell was it with me that made this happen!! Well I'm only at this point now. It was a blow to my self esteem that has been on shaky ground all year as it was. I guess it's time to start working on that instead of waiting for it to return Fortunately the spell seemed to get broken along the way. I know at least a couple have now split and the last ex is WAY away from being able to commit!! I'm definitely not there yet and I don't really see it happening any time in the near future. I think I'm too old for this not to be a pattern.
littlekitty Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Well I'm only at this point now. It was a blow to my self esteem that has been on shaky ground all year as it was. I guess it's time to start working on that instead of waiting for it to return Yeah it was a hard thing to think about. I guess I felt low at that point in my life too. I couldn't work out what it was about me personally that drove these men to suddenly find love and be willing to commit. I guess looking back now, it was nothing to do with me. I was just low and coincidence throw me a pattern to torture myself with. It's nothing to do with you. But yes, you have to take it on yourself to build your seld esteem back up. It doesn't just come back like you just put it one side, it take hard graft to work it back. I'm definitely not there yet and I don't really see it happening any time in the near future. I think I'm too old for this not to be a pattern. It's not a pattern! I promise! It's that you are low, evaluating your past relationships and you think you found a pattern that means something. It's means nothing... ! Let this thought go, you are not destined to live this way forever! The next one might be the one or he might get hit by bus instead....?! Stupid as it sounds, you simply never know!
JayKay Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 I realize it's a blow to your self esteem.... But honestly, you probably are just at that age where people are starting to want to settle down. I think it's more of a coincidence than an indication that there is something wrong with you.
Author JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 I realize it's a blow to your self esteem.... But honestly, you probably are just at that age where people are starting to want to settle down. I think it's more of a coincidence than an indication that there is something wrong with you. I'm honestly not sure if this is a slam or not. Care to expand?
ReluctantRomeo Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Well I'm only at this point now. It was a blow to my self esteem that has been on shaky ground all year as it was. I guess it's time to start working on that instead of waiting for it to return You're great, honey. We need to find some exercises for you to do to build self-esteem. I think I'm too old for this not to be a pattern. I'd say with Jay that the pattern is that you're meeting and dating guys who are ready, willing and able to settle down. Or even better, they meet you and realise what a good thing it would be to commit the rest of their life to one woman. It doesn't work out with you, but apart from that it sounds an excellent pattern to me
Author JS17 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 That is a load of donkey crap RR. I actually don't think the latest is ready to settle, he's too immature. Yet still she's ok enough for a relationship but I'm not? They're ready to settle down as long as it's not with me?
tanbark813 Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 How is that helpful Tanbark? Well it's not, really. I just thought I'd share.
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