AnnieTheConfused Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 The guy that I'm seeing has EVERYTHING that I'm looking for in a man, except for two things: age and trust. We were friends for a year, and during that time, he told me about his divorce and that he started seeing a woman that he cares a lot for, they were friends for five years, and became involved soon after his divorce. He said that he would consider to marry her if she were to get divorced to her husband. He told me that she loved him deeply, but was not going to divorce for many practical reasons, most importantly, her children. He also said to me sadly that he knew it was a dead-end relationship, but what happened, happened, and he knew one day she was going to leave him. As time went by, we developed very strong ties and feelings for each other. He was completely open to me about even the most inner part of his feelings, and he told me that he had fallen deeply in love with me. We started to see each other a lot more, and he was always 100% available to me when I needed him. I started to question his relationship with the other woman, and he told me that he had stopped seeing her about one week into our relationship. However, he has not told her about us, and was planning on telling her that after Christmas. He paid to cover her dental works, which is coming close to the end, and he is sure that she will quit going if he breaks the news to her right now. He told me over and over again that he is sure that I'm the person he has been waiting for, and would like to spend the rest of his life with me. He told me that he wants to marry me, but only if I am sure that is also want I want. He assured me that he has committed himself to me, completely, and forever. He said that I DO NOT have to worry about anything, since he is sure that he will be loyal to me if we stayed together. Now, why do I feel that i can't trust him unless he tells her about us right now? I can't seem to understand his story about the relationship between finishing her dental work and not teling her about us. Am I being unreasonable here? With all being said, here's the other thing, which might change your perspective on this whole matter. We have a significant age difference of 40 years! Like I said, things happened slowly, and now we have very strong ties and feelings toward each other. I do not know what to do anymore, and I'm afraid of the future if I really married him. But I do not want to miss the chance to be happy with someone, even if it's for a short period of time. There are couple of guys that are asking me out, two also proposed marriage to me, but I just don't share with them anything like I do with this guy. However, I'm afraid that the age difference will produce more pain than happiness in the coming years. But no one can predict their future anyway, right? I'm totally confused, help? I've posted another thread on the age issue earlier: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t76589/
whichwayisup Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 The fact he's made SUCH an issue out of making sure YOU know he won't be with anybody than just you, is a HUGE red flag. Age really isn't the issue at hand unless you let it be...The main issue I see is TRUST. If you can't trust someone that you're about to get involved with, I'd walk away.
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