witabix Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 To the LS men, would you continue to date a woman if you were getting no "action" as it were, or how much "action" would be required for you to continue dating. "Action" = masturbation, oral, full sex, etc.
Art_Critic Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 It depends.. if there was a real big bang type of connection I would go 4-6 months.. If we had been friends before for a long time I could go till marriage.. whatever that is..
alphamale Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 once she puts an embargo on the poon-tang for any extended period (> one month?) then the guy is in deep doo-doo.
TUDOR Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 It all depends on how much you like them. Guys know if they are really interested in a woman or if they just want to get in their pants and nothing more. The onese you are really interested in you are willing to take your time and get to know them and will wait. The ones you just want to lay you will move on pretty quick if she doesn't give it up within two weeks or less.
933KJL Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 I agree with Tudor. If there is a connection, the longer term you see the relationship becoming, the longer you are willing to wait. The shorter term, the less.
Rickymoemoe Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Well I would date her until I got up the nerve to ask her to marry me that's the obvious answer
Yamaha Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 If I am really into a women I want to express my desire for her and that includes sex. I guess I am the opposite from most men because if I don't really care about her I don't care about the sex. Sex is important to me as it is an expression of love. I don't really like to have sex with someone I have NO feelings for, it just doesn't feel right. Call me a romantic.
Walk Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Is this hypothetical, or real life? Is your girl holding out after she let you get a taste? Or won't put out from the get-go?
Gold Pile Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 I might keep her as a friend and a potential future sex partner. If I wasn't in to her, I'd hang with her if I needed to circulate with her friends.
fundamental Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 once she puts an embargo on the poon-tang for any extended period (> one month?) then the guy is in deep doo-doo. I agree with this. Most of the time, if nothing happens after a month or two, she is either with another guy, or she isn't physically attracted to you. A lot of guys end up in the Friendzone because of waiting around.
Author witabix Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 Is this hypothetical, or real life? Is your girl holding out after she let you get a taste? Or won't put out from the get-go? Its real life actually, my question was prompted because a girl I know claims she dated two different guys for over a year and did not have sex with them. Not concurrently I hasten to add. She also claimed to have gone back to two exes, and never had sex with them. I am a fairly open minded guy etc. However I wondered, who on earth are these guys? I didn't believe a word of it either. I have never come across any men like this, and I don't honestly think I could date a woman for a year without sex. I couldn't ask her if there was a "Clintonesque" claim going on with her. So I put up the post to see if any guys on LS would actually do this? Purely out of interest.
sparticuss Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Indefinitely if , and only if, there were no other grief attached to the relationship. And I have dated a few girls like this, on an off, over many years. One of us finds a party, festival, concert, sporting event , on that s/he thinks the other might like and just gives a ring. Good day out. These girls arent girlfriends. They are dates. No sex, but none of the grief, that everyone on these boards is so often bleating about, either.
Author witabix Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 Interesting one Spartacuss, would you have used the word 'relationship' to describe what you have with these girls? Would you say they were friends, 'relationships', girlfriends or what?
Rebellious Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 Some girls wait till they get to know me. I'll give her all the time she needs, within reason. I've no rule, maybe several months. But if she's playing games, I'll blow her off. If she's really attracted though, things go really quick. The tough part is when she starts asking if I'm seeing anybody else. Do I tell her about other girls, booty calls? I want to be honest with her but I don't want to make her jealous.
Lonely nice guy Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 If you had sex for a while, but stopped - a problem if it's beyond one month If you're both young and in love - not a problem. If you've both been married and are now divorced - probably a problem beyond 10 / 15 dates or so.
Craig Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 To the LS men, would you continue to date a woman if you were getting no "action" as it were, or how much "action" would be required for you to continue dating.Ok, I really, really, really enjoy sex but yes I would date a woman if there was no sex involved. There would have to be a good reason for it though. Heh, I once dated a girl with no sex involved. She had her reasons and that was cool. Funny thing is that after we broke up (she broke up with me) she was the one to initiate sex with me (over and over again) and very good sex it was. She claimed to be confused about why she wanted to have sex with me after we broke up but not during the time we were dating, but hey she was into it. Never did figure that one out.
LN8840K Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 1. It would depend on her reason for waiting ( born again virgins and reformed sluts need not apply ) ( virginity or religious beliefs would be ok ) 2. How much I liked her ( booty call 1-3 days- marrage material indefinite ) 3. Where I wanted the relationship to go ( same as above ) 4. Is it friendship or is it dating with the intention of romance It would be hard to date someone long term without sex, I would do it for the right person, but the relationship would need to at least progress in other ways . with no clear definition of the relationship I would friend-zone her and start dating other women. a relationship without sex is called a " friendship " it's just me though
bebegal Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 Well--my boyfriend will not have sex with me and it has been 4 months. I am beginning to wonder how long I can go wihtout having sex..any other women with the same problem??
Art_Critic Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 Well--my boyfriend will not have sex with me and it has been 4 months. I am beginning to wonder how long I can go wihtout having sex..any other women with the same problem?? Are you sure he is your boyfriend ? 4 months.. that is a REAL problem.
Sevenmack Posted December 20, 2005 Posted December 20, 2005 Two months at best as far as I'm concerned. There is a saying: Women give sex for love and men love for sex. If she isn't giving it up, then she doesn't want you. Now there are exceptions. Christian women who are holding off until marriage is one. A woman who got raped and still recovering is another. But then I wouldn't date either one. Nothing personal, but as much of a christian (small-c) as I am, I also believe that without sex, it's difficult for two people to bond (which is also why one shouldn't rush into bed too quickly; you might end up having too difficult a time breaking it off with someone who isn't right). Without sex, a relationship is merely just two people hanging out. And why hang out with a woman you're into when you can be so much more? As a man, I've got plenty of guys with whom I just pal around, go to bars and all that stuff. When it comes to a woman, I want more, think I deserve more and damn it, will get more. As for bebegal: Dump him. If he's been dating you for four months and isn't chomping at the bit to taste you, feel you, smell you and desire every inch, then he never will. Either he's gay or he's got some real issues. Either way, you're better off with someone willing to get involved in a full, real relationship.
BklynGuy Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 I had a sex problem with one girl I dated. She was getting it somewhere else and giving me bs excuses. I'd buy her gifts, take her out, we'd do all the things a normal couple would do....but then when we would lay down together she'd just go to sleep. I felt like she'd avoid it so I'd avoid it. I got tired of being in a sexless relationship. I've always had a lotta sex with other girls. I screwed someone else and told her about it....She got REALLY MAD about that...go figure. We went on one more date and she didnt put out. I broke up with her that night. Dating her was like having a hot friend that I loved. It was pointless. When I confronted her about our lack of a sexlife she began to offer it up but it was already too late. I would never stay in a relationship with someone that doesnt give it up. The longest it's taken me to sleep with a girl is 3 months.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted January 6, 2006 Posted January 6, 2006 Being 40, and separated, and having had all kinds of relationships, casual, serious, short term, long term, fwb, I have found that there isn't alot of difference in the relationship if you have sex on the first date or after two months (or more). If you're in love you're in love. It can be about two people connecting on an emotional level and it can also be about two people connecting on a physical level. Sex is much more meaningful to me if the emotional connection is there, and worth waiting for if one partner wants to wait. Sex can also be extremely satisfying if it is strictly physical. Feelings can grow from sharing sexual experiences and feelings can grow from taking your time getting to know each other without having sex. Holding out is rarely reason for ending the relationship IMO
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