Dreamer084 Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Well here it goes. Me and my ex gf were together for a year and 6 months. We always told each other that we would be together forever..I loved her soo much and she the same, well we're now separated and she tells me she loves me, but doesnt want a boyfriend. What am I suppose to do here? I love her so much and those words keep me coming back..calling her..texting her..We separated due to the fact that she was tired of me making the same mistakes in our relationship..I know for a fact where I went wrong and it feels like real change is going on through all this pain I am going through. Shes moving back to the West Coast in March with her Mom also. I dont know what to do..she loves me but she doesnt want a boyfriend right now? I thought people that loved each other work out their problems and want to be together..whats going on here? What do I need to do? The "love" keeps me coming back..i'm heartbroken..plz help
ginger1 Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 I'm sorry to hear about your pain and am truly proud that at least there's one guy out there that realizes his mistakes. The situation I am going through is similar, only, I'm on the other side. My boyfriend makes the same mistakes over and over again. He always apologizes, but makes no attempts at changing. We have been together for two years and I'm just about to give up. I'm not really sure what advice I can offer, because I know with me, when I'm done, that's it. If he doesn't care enough with all of the chances I have given the first few times, then he doesn't truly care about how I feel. Which may be the same attitude she has as well. However, the best I can tell you is to learn from this experience. If you still have the option of remaining friends for awhile, try to show her you have changed. Don't be pushy and don't try TELLING her, just show her with your actions. If it is meant to be, she will come back. If not, use this as a learning experience and move on. It will take some time to mend a broken heart, but it will heal with time. Hang in there. I hope things work out for you.
Author Dreamer084 Posted December 15, 2005 Author Posted December 15, 2005 We're friends now..We still talk on the phone. Its just really hard because I know for a fact I love her and I know indeed that I have grew up in certain areas in my life. I think the problem was me was that I didn't know a lot about relationships because I never really had this serious of a relationship..Now through going all this pain I realize the mistakes I made, but now it seems too late...
CaliGuy Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Being her friend is like accepting crumbs of her attention. She likes you but just as a friend right now. If that's all you want, then accept it. If you want more, then implement no contact and work on improving yourself. No contact means NO CONTACT. No text, no email, no phone conversations. Nothing. She needs time to figure out what she wants and any attempt you make to reconcile will only further push her away. You need to break free from depending on her to make you feel better, which it seems to be what you're doing. It's too much pressure on her. If she doesn't want a boyfriend right now you have to accept that. What she is saying is "I need my space" and you're not giving it to her. Sometimes we have to be willing to give up what we want the most to have any chance of getting it later. If you want that chance, respect her wishes. Don't punish her with no contact, don't announce it, just do it. Who knows, once you have healed up you may not want her anymore.
Author Dreamer084 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 Thanks a lot man. Your reply really did help.
Author Dreamer084 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 If she calls or texts me do I just ignore it or what?
sweetNsilly Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 Well here it goes. Me and my ex gf were together for a year and 6 months. We always told each other that we would be together forever..I loved her soo much and she the same, well we're now separated and she tells me she loves me, but doesnt want a boyfriend. What am I suppose to do here? I love her so much and those words keep me coming back..calling her..texting her..We separated due to the fact that she was tired of me making the same mistakes in our relationship..I know for a fact where I went wrong and it feels like real change is going on through all this pain I am going through. Shes moving back to the West Coast in March with her Mom also. I dont know what to do..she loves me but she doesnt want a boyfriend right now? I thought people that loved each other work out their problems and want to be together..whats going on here? What do I need to do? The "love" keeps me coming back..i'm heartbroken..plz help That is really sad.I am so sorry. I am going through the same thing right now except my ex bf is not moving away. I know how much it hurts you and how you want to talk to her and probably go back and fix everything that you did. It hurts and it is hard. I cant say it will get better but i can give you an idea. Usually when a girl says that she doesn't want a bf she is just afraid or worn out and needs to be with her friends. You probably text or call her everyday. If you can try and just not talk to her then she will start to wonder what is going on and miss you even more and want you back. I am not promising you that but it is a try. I wish you the best of luck!
itwontdawnsooner Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 you need to heal yourself. so if you get texted/called, theres going to be a strong temptation to respond or pick up. but nobody is making you do that, and theres nothing wrong with letting a phone go to voicemail, listening to the message (if one is left) and thinking about what you want to do, if you must, but don't become impulsive because you think if you wait to reply hope is lost, because you need to start realizing that maybe - the hope is that you're going to be in a better situation in the future with someone else. if that is too hard to take at this point, do yourself a favor and don't reply or jump on the phone because it can make things much harder! stay strong!
Author Dreamer084 Posted December 16, 2005 Author Posted December 16, 2005 I'm just going to not call her and not answer her texts and maybe she'll get the point. She needs to reconcile her thoughts and think about what she wants. This is my first day and its hard. I gotta stick to the game plan. She'll miss me after a couple days, I can almost guarantee it. I'm going through this because I know what I want and its her I want. I need to think positive..keep myself occupied on my goals and practice detachment. Whats ur guys opinions? We met the other day guys and she kissed me..she hugged me..she gave a huge hug and she told me she loved me a lot and looked at me in my eyes....Why god? Why..Finals week and this crap happens to me.
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