try flooding

[bendit]

This is counterintuitive but try it...from Dr. Robert Leahy

 

"Accept What You Don’t Know–And You Never Will

 

Worriers equate the unknown with danger. The more you tolerate uncertainty; the less worried you will be. Uncertainty training is highly effective in reducing worry and anxiety, significantly helping about two-thirds of chronic worriers. In uncertainty training you practice having the thought thousands of times that “I don’t know for sure” or “It’s always possible that something terrible could happen.”

 

Nancy thought that she might have HIV even though there was no real evidence that she did. She had not engaged in any high-risk behavior. But she began having this intrusive thought. So she worried and checked her body for any of the early signs of AIDS, I had Nancy repeat for 20 minutes each day, “It’s always possible I have AIDS.” I told her to do nothing to neutralize this thought—not to try to reassure herself, just practice having the thought that it was possible. As expected, her anxiety went up—and then it went down as she repeated this thought hundreds of times. She began to realize that the thought could be tolerated. In fact, it became boring.

 

This is different from a popular technique called “thought stopping:’ which involves noticing that you have an unwanted thought and then yelling at yourself, “Stop!” Thought stopping does not work. It actually can make things worse, because you believe you need to fear and get rid of the thought. In contrast, thought flooding teaches that you can do nothing to neutralize the thought. You eventually accept that you can never know for sure, and you can recognize that continuing to worry is a total waste of time.

 

Flooding yourself with thoughts about uncertainty—repeating them endlessly without doing anything to gain certainty—helps you recognize that you can live with ambiguity; it’s like getting on the elevator thousands of times. You no longer fear it because it has become boring. "

[Outcast]

Cool!

 

It would be interesting if someone tried it and reported back!

[lindya]

I don't like it. It sounds like conditioning the mind into accepting unpleasantness and immunising it to the subsequent pain. It might reduce anxiety, but what does it replace it with? Numbness and depression?

[Outcast]

Actually, lindya, it's one of the strategies used for people with phobias - getting used to the idea of the thing that terrifies you removes its power to terrify you.

 

In this case 'numbing' is necessary. If you're scared into fits because you might see a spider, you need to turn down that reaction. You don't do this for everything, but if you're worrying obsessively, I think that it would be a very good thing.

[newbby]

isnt it called exposure and used in ocd treatment?

[Outcast]

isnt it called exposure and used in ocd treatment?

 

I believe so. It's a common form of therapy, actually.

[pippen_2k]

Different theories and different methods for different people.

 

I for one found Thought Stopping excellent and it worked for me.

 

I flooded my mind of the ex biatch for months ( not on purpose ) and it did nothing but bring me down... so its what ever floats your boat really.

[Outcast]

I don't believe that Flooding is being recommended for all types of thoughts. This article is about worry, which is different from obsessing over a departed partner.

[bendit]

Obsessing IS a form of worry so the technique is applicable for obsession about the ex.

 

I think where it is useful is in situations where you are obsessing about Unkowns with regard to the ex. For example, will you ever hear from her again? has she hooked up yet? Did she ever really love me? Was she cheating on me?

 

These are all examples of unkowns, imponderables that you will never REALLY know the answer to (unless you are still in contact and that's bad for you who are obsessing).

 

So one thought you could flood your mind with is "MY ex very well might be with someone new, or she might not. Or, I have no idea if I ever will hear from the ex again. Or I have no idea if she cheated on me. She may well have but then again, perhaps she didn't."

 

For those that tried this to no avail or fear trying this, remember that anxiety goes UP at first until you have flooded the mind with enough of the concept. At this point, anxiety diminishes. So perhaps you have to work through the initial discomfort of these thoughts until they are accepted.

 

regards

[Outcast]

I think the sort of obsession that it won't work for is the 'he/she was so wonderful, our time together was so wonderful' etc. In that case, 'flooding' will only make it worse.