lilmoma1973 Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Ok i have a question to ask male /females .. Why is it that some men when you ask them to do something for you they never have time ?My h never does anything to my car when i ask .. He gets very defensive and i tell him fine i will go to the place where i got my tires and let them do it!! I understand he works alot on Friday's and Saturday's ,but it always seems a challenge to get him to do anything whether it be the car,or the house doesn't matter!! I do not nagg him about it ask him one time and he gets very defensive and so sick of it !!! Are all men like this or is it just my h? It is almost like he has more important things to do than do anything for me!! I feel sometimes why not i just be alone because what use is he to me anymore sure the paycheck pays the bill and sex is great but seems like i am missing more from this relationship and am sick of it!!! He does for everybody else but me and the kids we seem to come last and with me they are number one!! If it has to do with the band it is alwasys done and taken care of !! I just don't know that i want to live like this anymore !!!
slubberdegullion Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Simple. Stop asking him. Just go to the garage and have the mechanics do it. Or call a contractor to do whatever is needed to the house. Problem solved. Once the bills start coming in, he'll probably change his tune pretty quick.
Author lilmoma1973 Posted December 15, 2005 Author Posted December 15, 2005 Simple. Stop asking him. Just go to the garage and have the mechanics do it. Or call a contractor to do whatever is needed to the house. Problem solved. Once the bills start coming in, he'll probably change his tune pretty quick. Thanks Slubber i thought it was a man's job to do all that !! Oh well guess not for my h !! Yeah i have made that comment and he gets more pissed off cause he said they going to charge you a arm and a leg !! I say well you never have time so i will go have it done from someone don't mind!! My h is a person that don't want to be asked to do anything unless it involves his band and am really sick of it!! Now i know why those women cheated on Oprah !! So damn frustrating to pull the weight of everything in this house!!!
Yamaha Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Many times the ones we care about are the ones we ignore the most. You will do for your friends but relatives are another matter. I agree with slubberdegullion. He will probably feel guilty if you go ahead and take care of things without even telling him. Sometimes people need a wake up call to do what they should have done.
slubberdegullion Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Thanks Slubber i thought it was a man's job to do all that !! A man's job? Is that the male equivalent of "women's work"?
JadeStar Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 I would do as the others have said and take it to someone to get it fixed/worked on or whatever needs to be done. Sounds like he has proven to be unreliable when it comes to certain things to be done. If he gets p*ssed because bills are rolling in from the car being taken care of, tough Sh*t! Had he done it to begin with, he wouldn't be stuck with bills for the car. Maybe that will be an eye opener for him, if not, not sure what else to tell you. Jade
Author lilmoma1973 Posted December 15, 2005 Author Posted December 15, 2005 Many times the ones we care about are the ones we ignore the most. You will do for your friends but relatives are another matter. I agree with slubberdegullion. He will probably feel guilty if you go ahead and take care of things without even telling him. Sometimes people need a wake up call to do what they should have done. Thanks Yamaha, and you are probably right for most men but not for my h , he isn't like that too much like his dad!! I will try it though !!
Author lilmoma1973 Posted December 15, 2005 Author Posted December 15, 2005 I would do as the others have said and take it to someone to get it fixed/worked on or whatever needs to be done. Sounds like he has proven to be unreliable when it comes to certain things to be done. If he gets p*ssed because bills are rolling in from the car being taken care of, tough Sh*t! Had he done it to begin with, he wouldn't be stuck with bills for the car. Maybe that will be an eye opener for him, if not, not sure what else to tell you. Jade Thanks Jade He makes comments saying i don't drive my car enough he is the type of man lets things go till it breaks down always has been that why his truck always running crappy !! My mom bought me tires because h wouldn't and she gave it to me for a mother's day present and surprized me and told me to follow her and her fiance and her fiance paid for them!! My tires was awful and my mom was worried my and i would get stranded.. My car had been acting ugly and had a loud sound and h said it was my imagination and took it down the road to get looked at and said my converter was bad and needed to be changed immediately!!! I got the mechanic to talk to him and tell him the deal and the mechanic told me if i would get the warranty he would change it for 58 dollars h agreed and the guy told me i needed to change my freeon soon and h said he would and yet to do it!! This was done a month ago and yet to do it !! Now oil light coming on and we drive the car all week and weekends his truck not big enough for all and he says i don't drive it enough to change it that much that is such BS !! This has always been like this why would i ever think it going to change like i said if it don't have anything to do with band it isn't on his priority list!!
RecordProducer Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Why is it that some men when you ask them to do something for you they never have time? Because they are lazy. Are all men like this or is it just my h? Some are and your husband is obviously one of them. He does for everybody else but me and the kids we seem to come last and with me they are number one!! 1. Talk to him about it and state your demands and expectations clearly. Make him state how much he is willing to do for you and the kids in terms of time and effort. 2. You maried him so accept him the way he is to a certain degree. 3. He is taking you for granted and doesn't feel like he has to prove how good he is with you (unlike other people or the fellas from the band). Besides the things you're asking him to do for you are not fun for him. He is not motivated to do anything when he knows that it is his responsibility and obligation. Give him some motivation! Tell him that he doesn't have to repair your car, but it would be very sweet of him if he does and perhaps you could surprise him with something if he is a good boy. 4. If he still doesn't change, do to him what he does to you; when he asks you for something, don't have time for him!
confusedgeek Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Hmm... Poor car. - Oil Light - Tires need replacing - Broken catalytic converter - Blown AC ==== Basically, the catalytic converter is an extra type of emissions control that heats the air as its come out through the engine and out the tail pipe. It's not a real critical component to a car to just run. Cars usually work better without them installed. The catalytic converter just gave which isnt too uncommon. It is important when your car is going to get smogged. But since youre hearing noises its probably annoying you. It can happen when theres a small hole there somewhere. ==== By the time oil light comes up, thats usually a bad sign. Most cars should get their oil changed and oil filter replaced every 3000 miles. Other variables include if you use standard oil vs. sythetic, etc. ==== AC (aka freon) unit isn't too big of a deal, unless its really cold or really hot where you are. Its a pretty cheap fix. Relatively easy to medium installation because the front dash has to be removed depending on where the unit is. ==== If youre curious to know how much longer the tire will last, use the penny test. Place the penny into the thread where you can see abraham's image. Make sure his head is pointing towards the tire. If the tire is goes past the head, your tires are okay. If not, youre tires are bald and require change. i'd also recommend rotating your tires every 10,000 miles so they last longer. ==== Anyways, the important things that required changed on that car of yours is the oil and the tires if they are really that low. Safety first.
NYCmitch25 Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 It's not really an issue of men vs. women per say. However, it is important to understand how men and women differently percieve things. I suggest you should learn how to positively reward behavior since you probably have naturally mastered negatively punishing negative behavior. Of course, another part of this is how he treats you and how you may not want to positively respond to any of his behaviors or assume he owes you these things but that is really missing the point. The point is getting people to do things for you and how to achieve that. Make his help seem important, make him a special dinner, take him out, use kind words to thank him and seem to mean it. There is always the method of playing "hardball" but I warn against doing that as it takes something away from the relationship. In detail you could withold things as punishment but what you are doing is treating him like a child instead of a partner in an adult relationship. You state: "Thanks Slubber i thought it was a man's job to do all that !! " which exemplifies how it's thankless tedious work you demand with no thanks, it's just expected of him to do it as many women are "expected" to do laundry or other domestic chores in Western culture -- and thus can result in passive agressive men and "unappreciated" women.
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