Cardiac Distress Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 I've been with my gf for 5 years. We broke up for a brief period 6 months ago while we were living together. The issue there was that she wanted to pursue another guy. Well, that fell through and she came back to me. At this point I feel that we are getting ready to get engaged but there are a few issues that are tearing me up inside. I am having some trust issues because of the way we broke up 6 months ago. She was still with me but still having dinners with a "friend" which was another guy. I spoke up about that and put an end to it. She treated me unfairly there. Another issue is that she has changed from a sweet girl that loves me for me now is a girl who loves me for what I can give her. We talked about it and she says we both grew up and matured. But matured into what? Is she a gold digger or a person that wants her man to provide for her. There are so many red flags popping up. I asked her a key question "If I was terminally ill would you leave me?" she couldn't give a straight answered and said she would let me go if she would ill. There is also the fact that this girl is most of the time unaffectionate with drives me crazy at times. It has been 5 years. I really still do love the girl. And I know she really still loves me. So am I wasting my time gearing up to propose to this girl or she I just cut my losses and leave her and move to california. I really still love her I bought her Diamond earrings for christmas. I don't know what to do. Any Response would be great. Thanks
karenina21 Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Yet she leaves you for another guy, and can't answer when you ask if she'd stay with you if you were terminally ill? Man, she does not love you! Love means sticking together through thick and thin and she has not done that! Why waste the time and energy asking someone to spend their life with you when they wouldn't even stick around through the worst of times? You deserve better. She wants to chase other guys? Let her. Do the same to her and see if she comes running back. In the meantime, you guys are not ready to be married.
sick of it Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 if you were to propose.... for better or for worse...in sickness and in health.... could she promise that? its a vow
omegaRED Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Yep. I too think you need to cut your losses. She cannot commit to you, so... Marriage is really out of the question. Just let her go, you won`t be happy with someone who doesn`t love you. And by the looks of it, she doesn`t. Sorry, but that seems to be the case here.
Devils Advocate Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 You will discover that most men will overwhelmingly concur that you need to cut your losses and move on. She has proven that she is nt interested in the long term with you and will more than likely cause you a great deal of pain before ruining you both financially and emotionally. Cut her loose and move on, you deserve better.. As for loving her remember the old saying Love is the illusion that one woman is different than another. Callous and cruel ? Maybe, but see if you can figure out the deeper meaning of this phrase. Once you do it will make your love life so much easier.
FWIW Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 As for loving her remember the old saying Love is the illusion that one woman is different than another. Callous and cruel ? Maybe, but see if you can figure out the deeper meaning of this phrase. Once you do it will make your love life so much easier. Keep the one you have if they're all the same? Or try another if they're all the same? It works both ways! Some of my friends are 'better' friends than others, so if people vary that much how can all women not be different?
gfto Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 WOW! First of all, this girl does NOT love you. I'm not sure where you got that idea. You shouldn't have even given her the time of day after she dumped you for that other guy. So, she kicks you to the curb to get with this other guy. Then, after he crashes and burns, she comes back to you. You take her back. She's unaffectionate. And, you're buying her diamond earings for Christmas?!!? To answer your question......LEAVE HER.
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