Altaira Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 Boyfriend different after meeting in person. We developed a relationship over a nine month period over the phone, emails, messenger. He pursued me and got me over my ex boyrfriend, I started falling for him this September. We had each other's photos (and they match the real life versions in fact the latter is better. I disagree with most people that you can't have at least strong feelings for someone based on months and months of phone conversations, hours long, and emails, etc. In fact, it's less shallow because you're being less influenced by the physical (although we had photos of each other and loved what we saw). I am shy and was nervous and quieter in the meeting but he knew beforehand that I was shy. He was quieter as well but after the middle of the date was great. It was the hello and goodbye that were a little awkward. After meeting, his messages on the messenger (he'd message me daily before) were still adoring, however the time frame was less frequent, but he claimed he was so busy with work (he is the boss and mangages a 3 tier of employees at a financial office for the government and had issues with his new car. I made negative comments on the internet to him and pretty much said goodbye and it made him mad, now he's making the effort to be more available, he's the boss where he works and he's been busy, he said he's tired of my being influenced by other people's negative input on the relationship, that he never stopped loving me, I just doubted him and he doesn't like it when I do that. The difference now is words of affection are less over the top, for example he'll now say "I love you less" less often and before he'd say it after every phone conversation and with more exaggeration like "I love you SO MUCH" OR "I love you VERY MUCH". The other night, we were saying good night over the phone and he was just saying talk with you later, and making kissing noises for me, then he paused, and I said good night and hung up, upset he wasn't saying I miss you, I love you like he usually does. He is usually the one to make the first move, calling wise and saying words of affection. Lately, he seems to be trying to get me to call him. He also is subtly less emotionally open about his feelings. He is the one who pursued me and got me over my ex boyfriend. And I let him take pretty much all the initiative in calling me, and saying I love you, etc. I don't know if he's just tired of making the first move. Lately I notice he's wanting me to call him. I brought up the topic to him last night and he said he felt closer to me after the meeting, and when I said I felt a distance, he said "no, no" He mentioned to me before meeting that he is an extrovert at work and an introvert in his personal life, and I did notice upon meeting him that he is more quieter. But when I asked him last night over the phone if he was shy at all, he said no just introverted. I can't tell if he is just shyer after meeting, or likes me less. But he is definitely into me sexually. I asked him if he felt more aroused than romantic towards me, and he said "both, I can't feel aroused unless I feel romantic towrads you". He told me he loves me, during the meeting. He didn't look in my eyes, but then again, he's said before that he has trouble expressing himself emotionally. In fact he never said I love you back with an former gf. He's said things like I'm beautiful and after the meeting he said I was very goodlooking, a "desireable creature". Would appreciate your insights. I hope I have not left out any important details. One thing I should add is that right before we became really close before meeting, we'd started phone sex, initiated unintentionally by me because I was teasing him, and we while we did not have intercourse when he picked me up for the date and brought me over to his place (which I really didn't want to do but he is so persistent) there was oral sex. The day we met was the day he had to call an absence at work because he says he couldn't sleep the night because of an argument we'd had. Which made me feel like I had to make up for it.
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