CassyHillmer Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 My Best Friends And Her Ex Broke Up A While Ago And Iv Liked Her Ex For A While.. She Says She Still Loves Him And Would Hate Me If I Ever Did Something Like Go Out With Him But I Dont Really Think She Means It. I Really Want To Date This Guy Because I Think Hes Perfect For Me But I Dont Want To Ruin A Good Friendship. This Guy Means So Much To Me. He Told Me He Likes Me To And Its Really Hard To Decide. Please Give Me Some Advice I Really Need It!
Milo Posted December 18, 2005 Posted December 18, 2005 If it has been a while since your friend dated this guy and she has since dated other guys, then what's the problem? Is he marked forever?
whichwayisup Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 She Says She Still Loves Him And Would Hate Me If I Ever Did Something Like Go Out With Him But I Dont Really Think She Means It. Listen to your friend. If she still loves him then DON'T go out with him. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute. How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Especially if this happened very recently. How long is "a while ago" that makes a huge difference in the replies here on your thread.
amerikajin Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 Ah yes, the 'ex' rule. Basically, the short of it is this: it really depends on which relationship you value more. If you can live without your best friend's friendship, carry on. If you value the same close friendship with your best friend more than your own desires to be with this guy, then you will respect your friend's wishes enough to at least talk to her about it before dating him. Note carefully, I'm not saying that you are selfish or behaving with impropriety for wanting her ex - these things just happen sometimes. However, as a friend, the thing you must remember is that your friend obviously still has feelings for this guy - she's already made that clear to you, in fact. By dating her ex, you are doing several things that are going to cause her emotional discomfort: one, she will have a harder and longer time trying to get over him, and two, in that time, it will be even more painful knowing that her own best friend is dating the guy she still has memories with. Think of how she's going to feel when she sees you out on the town together. Personally, I wouldn't do it, but you know this guy better than me. Maybe he really does mean something to you, but I'm curious as to how well you know him.
cplfun13 Posted December 19, 2005 Posted December 19, 2005 How would you feel if she was dating yours?
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