ashley83 Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 My bf broke up w/ this morning. We've been dating for 2 years. He says he still loves me. He was the first to ever tell me he loved me, etc! It's such a shock!! I can't stop crying. How do I get through this. I love him so much. And the funny thing is, I'm way better looking, have a better personality than him. It's like one of those "how did he get her" things. But I didn't care because I loved him. I don't get it! I'm so sad.
In Sync Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 I'm sorry for your pain. If it's at all possible find a good friend who's shoulder you can cry on. You are going through a shock right now and need to be with someone be it a close friend or family member who can just be there while you cry. If he didn't provide any reason for the reason he wanted to end the relationship, please in your state, try not to call him to find out the reason. There is no point for mentioning NC, because you are naturally hurting and want most of all to call him for answers. Only Please resist. At least for this day. Or until you feel stronger. Cry and let it out. Don't hold it in. Big Hug (((( )))))
Author ashley83 Posted December 14, 2005 Author Posted December 14, 2005 His reason for breaking up is that he 'can never see himself married to me' which I don't understand because the day before yesterday he was talking about us getting married. So I don't get it! Thank you for the hug....made me smile
In Sync Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 His reason for breaking up is that he 'can never see himself married to me' which I don't understand because the day before yesterday he was talking about us getting married. So I don't get it! Thank you for the hug....made me smile Perhaps this just set off a panic attack for him. Like he felt obligated once he started talking of marriage. I'm not trying to look for excuses for him abrudtly ending things with you, because there's a right way and a wrong way to break off a relationship. And he gets no points for doing it without any sensitivity...but giving him the benefit of doubt, let things rest for a few days. If this man who said he loves you offers no more than this, consider yourself lucky, becausee revealed his true character to you before you got married to him. His true nature came out better now than if you were planning a wedding or having been married and he calls it quit. But even if he came crawling back..would you ever really trust this person again with your heart and WANT to marry him? Still find a friend today and tomorrow to just be with you and listen. ((((( + )))) that's the bunny with a bunny friend!
itwontdawnsooner Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 im sorry ashley! for me, for my first breakup, the hardest thing to handle was the way she changed - going from loving to mean and angry... in the span of a few hours there's no easy way to get through it really, talk to people (talk here) if it helps, write, go for walks, drives, go to places you've never been - even if it's just a local cafe or something you can get through it!
Author ashley83 Posted December 14, 2005 Author Posted December 14, 2005 thank you.....at least it didn't happen during the semester. I'm on break from school. I'm tryin to maintain my 4.0 to get into the school that I want, and I don't think I could handle this during that. I just wish I could find a guy who loves me and means it....I don't understand. I'd never do that to someone. I hope he's feeling something! I don't see how he couldn't have a heart.
slubberdegullion Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 I'm sorry for your pain ashley. Yes, he's undoubtedly feeling pain; he just won't show it because he's under the impression that to show emotion in front of you is a sign of weakness. You will get through this. You'll go through the stages of grief like we all have done, and you'll come out the other side a better, stronger person for it. In the meantime, give yourself permission to be frustrated, angry and hurt. You have that right. But don't let it go on too long; sometimes "permission" turns into self-loathing, and there's no upside to that at all. PM if you want to discuss one-on-one.
Author ashley83 Posted December 14, 2005 Author Posted December 14, 2005 thanks! I will never resort to self-loathing because I do think I have so much to offer a guy, more than many women, just for my loyal and sensitive nature, prettiness, cuteness, and good judgement. I am just perplexed that he'd break up w/ a girl like that! And I'm very sad because I'll miss him so much.
slubberdegullion Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 I'm very sad because I'll miss him so much. You're entitled to miss him; nothing wrong with that. So honour the feelings, and be sure to get on with your life.
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