gordon_gc Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 Hi guys, I am so upset today... Upset with myself Upset with everyone still expecting a second chances deep inside themself Upset with movies that make believe everything is possible if you love ??? I wanna know why we keep expecting a love back ? I make myself sick and weak a bit more everyday and still I do nothing against it. I know what I have to do...NC, focus on myself, etc...etc... and still, nothing seems to work. I seriously would like to have reply from people who actually had a 2nd chance. How ? Did you make it work ? I want to face reality and clearly see how many people succeed compare to how many people still expect. Thanks
CaliGuy Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 No, my second chance did not work. Why? I didn't change, she didn't change and the situation didn't change. I would have been much better off forgetting about her, healing myself and being open to meeting someone new. Instead I delayed my healing process by a good 6-12 months. The success rate for second chances is about 5% based on my estimation.
Frustrated_in_LA Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 I tried a second chance a while ago- about a year and half after the first break up, after a long period of NC. Turns out we both had changed, but in directions that took us farther apart! The second end was ugly too- much, much uglier than the first. I had tried it earlier with another relationship- again, the second -and in that case, third- ends, also very, very painful, far worse than the first. In both of these cases, there is no way we could be friends if we ran into eahc other today, despite the passage of years. Its too bad, because if we had left it for good the first time, there might have been a chance of that. I get the draw... why try with someone new when you can try again with someone you know you like? Sounds like it should work, but in my experience, it never does.
Still_In_Love Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 gordon_gc, No one has the correct answer here. We are all here because we have had the same experiences as you and others here are having right now. I wanna know why we keep expecting a love back ? I think that when you truly love someone, you always have a bit of hope. Our natural instinct is to succeed and when we don't, we try in our minds to find ways to do so. I seriously would like to have reply from people who actually had a 2nd chance. How ? Did you make it work ? I want to face reality and clearly see how many people succeed compare to how many people still expect. I can't speak for myself, because I have not had the opportunity to have a second chance, but a family member went through a really hurtful break up and were apart for a year....they decided to try again and now have been married for 19 years, have three kids and life is great. I believe that all things are possible...but that depends on so many variables. I would love a second chance with my ex. I have done NC for almost two months except for one email...I still love her deeply, but I still have work to do with me and that should be your priority. Don't wait for hope....it will happen if it is to be. The minute you move forward in with your life, chances are, someone will be knocking at you door! Hang in there...be strong...believe in yourself!!
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