KJO314 Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 Hi Y'all My g/f broke up with me 3 weeks ago tomorrow. Anways she called me 2 days ago and I was in town... I aksed her if she wanted to go like get ice cream or coffee or something. At first she said it would be ok then she was like.... I don't really feel comfortable with it right now. I asked her why and she said that she was still emotionally upset and she didn't want to give me any hope of us getting back together anytime soon because she wasn't sure (she then started crying). I aksed her why she was crying and she was like...."This is hurting me a lot even though I did it i still think for me right now this is the right thing." I asked her if she was crying becasue she still loves me and she said yes. Well, we kept talkeing and she kept getting more upset. I told her not to cry and that I would be there for her. She asked me what I thought was going on with her and I said "You are a wreck right now... I have been there... you need toget your life back together and it is something that you can only do yourself. It doesn't mean that there isn't any hope for us. There is still hope for us right?" She answered with a "yes" So we talked a little bit mroe and it was obvious she wasn't calming down so I told her to call me back when she felt comfortable talking again. She said ok and laughed when I told her a joke and I told her bye. Was this a good move??? What does it mean. She has NEVER NEVER been anything less than completely honest with me since I have known her. I sent her a handmade Christmas card because she is leaving for a week on a cruise. She leaves tomorrow. Should I call her and wish her a merry christmas or not?? Is there still a chance with us, and what can I do to improve my odds if anything? If I keep maintaining contact with her will she still continue to love me... or will she do it even if I don't call her. Let me say that I will do anything for this woman. You only meet a woman once that you know you truely havea connection with. I know this woman. you might say that there are "more fish in the sea" but I don't want another fish. I connect with her and she with me on so many levels. I honestly feel she is just a wreck right now and needs to sort out her life.
kjo314 Posted December 24, 2005 Posted December 24, 2005 Hi Y'all My g/f broke up with me 3 weeks ago tomorrow. Anways she called me 2 days ago and I was in town... I aksed her if she wanted to go like get ice cream or coffee or something. At first she said it would be ok then she was like.... I don't really feel comfortable with it right now. I asked her why and she said that she was still emotionally upset and she didn't want to give me any hope of us getting back together anytime soon because she wasn't sure (she then started crying). I aksed her why she was crying and she was like...."This is hurting me a lot even though I did it i still think for me right now this is the right thing." I asked her if she was crying becasue she still loves me and she said yes. Well, we kept talkeing and she kept getting more upset. I told her not to cry and that I would be there for her. She asked me what I thought was going on with her and I said "You are a wreck right now... I have been there... you need toget your life back together and it is something that you can only do yourself. It doesn't mean that there isn't any hope for us. There is still hope for us right?" She answered with a "yes" So we talked a little bit mroe and it was obvious she wasn't calming down so I told her to call me back when she felt comfortable talking again. She said ok and laughed when I told her a joke and I told her bye. Was this a good move??? What does it mean. She has NEVER NEVER been anything less than completely honest with me since I have known her. I sent her a handmade Christmas card because she is leaving for a week on a cruise. She leaves tomorrow. Should I call her and wish her a merry christmas or not?? Is there still a chance with us, and what can I do to improve my odds if anything? If I keep maintaining contact with her will she still continue to love me... or will she do it even if I don't call her. Let me say that I will do anything for this woman. You only meet a woman once that you know you truely havea connection with. I know this woman. you might say that there are "more fish in the sea" but I don't want another fish. I connect with her and she with me on so many levels. I honestly feel she is just a wreck right now and needs to sort out her life.
ReluctantRomeo Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 You may have a chance, you may not. Ironically, the best chance you stand is if you back off completely. Dial down the pressure. Do other things, get on with your life. Let her come to you. And bear in mind she may not. To make this work, you need to reduce the stakes and expectations in your own mind.
JayKay Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 She was using a rather long-winded approach to tell you she wants to be free. Sometimes people sprinkle various phrases throughout their breakup speech to mask the feelings of guilt they have. I suspect she's been thinking of breaking things off for quite a while but was reluctant to do so because you ARE a nice guy who treated her well.
kjo314 Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Ok so she wants to be free... That the hell does this mean... I know it sounds like it should make sense.... Does this mean she wants me to wait around until she decides that she can commit. I mean does this all stem fro ma commitment problem on her end??
gfto Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 she "wants to be free," "needs space," "wants some time out," all mean the same thing: She is no longer interested in you. End of story. Analyzing her every word is a complete waste of time. She doesn't want you to wait around while she decides what she wants. She already knows what she wants.....a new boyfriend.
reservoirdog1 Posted December 30, 2005 Posted December 30, 2005 To paraphrase MacBeth, that explanation she gave you is "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." Damned if I know what it means in detail. Loosely translated, however, it means "I don't want to be with you, but maybe I can buy you off with some psychobabble BS and an offer of post-relationship friendship, and then maybe you'll go away and leave me alone." My advice is, go away and leave her alone. Completely. If she actually wants to be with you, she'll come crawling after you. If she doesn't want to be with you, she won't -- and that'll be your answer.
Recommended Posts