sick of it Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 my first relationship ended 7 months ago. i was the dumpee. i did NC for a week and was ask by my ex what i was thinking, if i cared at all. I then starting pining and crying and beggin for the rest of the summer. she sucked me in until she found another guy. and then cut me out. i started to check on her whenever i could. i found things out that are now burned into my head. shes seeing someone else seriously and i found out because i went looking for the information. ive been doing NC for a little while but those images burn me up. im guessing that if i went true NC and didnt call, didnt check myspace, didnt check AIM, that id be in a much different place (i hope). NC is supposed to help you with YOUR emotions. its never too late to start NC, but youre left with the last thing you see.
Roarz Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 I hear you man, I was in the same boat a few weeks ago. I kept finding out things that I NEVER wanted to hear while I was trying to be "just her friend" (although I wasn't looking for some things, she just told me about her kissing other guys and such when I'd asked her not to [kicked her ass to the curb for that crap, friend my ass]) or see. I eventually canceled my myspace, facebook, and blocked her on AIM, so I wouldn't have any temptation to look at what she's up to. I used to be obssessed about how she is doing and I still kind of am, but I will never risk learning something that would set me back again. You may want to know how they're doing, but it's really more than you can handle. NC really is the way to recovery.
In Sync Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 I've written my views about this under my thread about NC being a blessing. NC is the only way to fully stop the prolonged misery. And in the begiining I thought, nah..I can handle a little information. Big FAT lie. I am so lucky, that I've no little of no risk of running into him. At first I was anxious that I would see him around (living in NYC) but as we don't run in the same circles, we don't live anywhere near each other, know common people...it's been like having mole removed from my ass. Out of sight= nothing to remind you of the past. That's the biggest blessing. Stay away from people who are the center of your heartache. It won't get better trying to hang onto shreds of information. NC for me means ...really wipe the slate clean. No hearing through the grapevine about the ex...walk away from it all. Of course human nature makes you think you can beat the systm but after a few bad bruises. We each eventully walk the walk.
LoveApple Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 Sorry, I still don't know what NC is? Therefore I don't fully understand the situation Thanks x
ReluctantRomeo Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 its never too late to start NC, but youre left with the last thing you see. Simple, yet profound. The best is to see the relationship and the dump and no further. The same works the other way btw. It is best to leave them with the relationship and their decision, and not see you pining afterwards.
scobro Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 Sorry, I still don't know what NC is? Therefore I don't fully understand the situation Thanks x NC= Nipple Clamping When you hurt so bad you take a clothes peg and clamp it on your nipples so there is lots of pain, this technique allows you to take your mind off you ex.
ReluctantRomeo Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 NC= Nipple Clamping Behave! Loveapple, NC = No Contact. This is when you voluntarily cut all contact with an ex (usually the dumpee cutting contact with the dumper). Not because you hate them, but to allow yourself time and space to heal. Sometimes it also has the side-effect of making the ex reconsider, but there are no guarantees and this is not its main purpose.
bendit Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 This is something to write on a sticky and put near your monitor or phone.. NO NEW CONTACT = NO NEW PAIN regards
jomaxfury Posted December 14, 2005 Posted December 14, 2005 This is when you voluntarily cut all contact with an ex (usually the dumpee cutting contact with the dumper). Not because you hate them, but to allow yourself time and space to heal. Sometimes it also has the side-effect of making the ex reconsider, but there are no guarantees and this is not its main purpose. Bullseye!!!!!Flawlessly said!!!!
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