lileve01 Posted December 12, 2005 Posted December 12, 2005 Well I was with this guy during the time I had a boyfriend(i'll call him Jay). I broke up with my boyfriend for him, but still can't shake the ex from not calling. I continue to answer the phone, and do visit. Well, I lied about this and Jay found out. during this time he's been flirting with another girl, and actually asked her out. He said the reason he did this, and began liking her is because he can't trust me. He also said when he imagined the future it was with me, but he does not know what to do because he thinks I will cheat, and he thinks I still want to be with my ex.He heard me tell my ex that I love him, but I'm used to saying it. Also the first time we broke up I told my ex I wanted to get back with him, so Jay is very jealous, but denies being hurt. Jay and I continue to sleep with one another, and whenever he is drunk he calls me and tells me he loves me. The thing is he almost fought some dude for talking to this girl. He and I were together for over a year, and he knows her for two months. To top it off she has cheated as well not with Jay, with someone else.That's why her boyfriend left her. And she does not know which of the two she loves. Now he's telling me that he wants to see what happens with them because he does like her because and he doesn't think things will work out for us. ( we were secretive and nobody could know cause they all know my ex. We share the same circle of friends, so we lied a lot.) That night he told me this we slept together, he told me not to tell my close friend because she will tell the girl he likes. He said he still has feelings for me. He just had a death in the family and called me. So my ques is if he doesn't want to be with me why continue to be in touch?, and if he likes her so much why sleep with me?,and who has the advantage here? and do you think he is rebounding? my friends say in a lot of ways she is identical to me, but they think i'm prettier, so is he looking for me in her?
J dub Posted December 12, 2005 Posted December 12, 2005 oh dear.... >I broke up with my boyfriend for him, but still can't shake the ex from not calling. When you dont want to talk to someone, you dont answer the phone. > I continue to answer the phone, and do visit. Mistake. >Well, I lied about this and Jay found out. They always do. >during this time he's been flirting with another girl, and actually asked her out. Then you should be LONG gone. >He said the reason he did this, and began liking her is because he can't trust me. Trust is the foundation of a relationship. Without it, you have nothing to build from. Again, you need to get out. > He also said when he imagined the future it was with me, but he does not know what to do because he thinks I will cheat, and he thinks I still want to be with my ex. I can see why: >He heard me tell my ex that I love him, There you go. >but I'm used to saying it. This, right here, is called an excuse. >Also the first time we broke up I told my ex I wanted to get back with him, No wonder Jay thinks you want the ex back. >Jay and I continue to sleep with one another, WHY? Are you that starved for attention that you'll accept crumbs like this? >and whenever he is drunk he calls me and tells me he loves me. Oh well if he's drunk then surely he is tellin the truth, right? (sarcasm) >The thing is he almost fought some dude for talking to this girl. Yeah he really likes her, obviously. Guys dont fight eachother just for sh*ts & giggles. >He and I were together for over a year, and he knows her for two months. So? >Now he's telling me that he wants to see what happens with them because he does like her because and he doesn't think things will work out for us. Then you should say, ok...see ya. > ( we were secretive and nobody could know cause they all know my ex. We share the same circle of friends, so we lied a lot.) Oh, so he loves you so much he has to hide it from the ones you are friends with? C'mon now. > That night he told me this we slept together, he told me not to tell my close friend because she will tell the girl he likes. Oh dear god please get out of this situation. He is using you! >He said he still has feelings for me. Words are cheap. >So my ques is if he doesn't want to be with me why continue to be in touch?, because your an easy fallback girl. A booty call. And he knows you'll be there for him. BIG MISTAKE. >and if he likes her so much why sleep with me?, Cuz he can. >and who has the advantage here? Are you kidding? Nothing in this situation is positive for you. He wants to keep this a secret (real loving huh?), he says he likes this other girl and wants to see where it is going, and youre still sleeping with him. Its clear you have low self esteem otherwise you'd never put up with something like this. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and ONLY you. >and do you think he is rebounding? Nope, he's interested in this other girl. You didnt break his heart and leave him, so theres nothing to rebound from. >but they think i'm prettier, That's great, than find a guy who thinks that too. >so is he looking for me in her? Nope, he's looking for someone else. Not you. Sorry to say it, but you have nothing going for you here. I know it sucks to hear that and you'll probably be thinking up all kinds of reasons why I dont know what I am talking about, but I am telling you from years of experience and relationships similar to this (if not in them, watching them) that you are in a bad situation and can't win here. You need to find someone else cuz this relationship is definitely done.
Recommended Posts