Seanathan Posted December 12, 2005 Posted December 12, 2005 Hello everyone! This is my first post on this forum, so please take it easy on me I am currently dating the girl of my dreams. I could never ask for more in my life. To give a brief background I worked with her for about a year before we started dating. We have been seeing eachother for about 9 months now. She is just amazing. I knew she was perfect for me the first day I met her. So two years later I started to date her and she is just as perfect if not more than when I met her. I honestly love her more than anything in the world. Problem is- I have a serious issue with putting up walls. I know I am afraid to be hurt. I have been in three serious relationships previous to this and one of them specifically hurt me wicked bad. Any girl I date now I basically eat up the "new" feeling as much as I can, but then I suddenly have a "bored" feeling. In my previous relationships I thought that we just weren't a good match, but now being with my current girl i KNOW there is a serious issue, because it IS the same exact feeling. I know I am afraid to let people, and specifically girls in a relationship get close to me, as I know I am afraid to lose them and will not be able to cope. I know I also have a fear of dissapointing my girlfriend. So I constantly aim to please. Any suggestions? I'm open to anything at this point! I need to get over this fear because this is seriously putting a damper on my relationships.
lilmoma1973 Posted December 12, 2005 Posted December 12, 2005 I guess for me you have to learn to trust again and know that person is truely open and honest with you !! Communication is the key to a relationship !! You should always be able to confide in one another and be each other's best friend ...
slubberdegullion Posted December 12, 2005 Posted December 12, 2005 Seanathan, this feeling of yours is perfectly normal, natural and nothing new under the sun. Those walls which you speak of are there for a reason, even if they seem a little out of place right now. A dear friend of mine once remarked to me, "What you focus on determines what you miss." So acknowledge the reality of the walls, but focus on the joys of your new partnership. Soon enough, given time and trust, the walls will crumble on their own. It's not something that you can force or white-knuckle your way through; it will happen naturally and almost without your knowing it. Good luck. You're going to be fine.
Outcast Posted December 12, 2005 Posted December 12, 2005 I am afraid to lose them and will not be able to cope But you already know that you have lost people and coped. You have proof that you're a survivor.
SmoochieFace Posted December 12, 2005 Posted December 12, 2005 But you already know that you have lost people and coped. You have proof that you're a survivor. True, but he is scared of it happening again. Totally understandable - especially if there happens to be a history of people *leaving* him. I can relate to this. I always feel that every relationship that I am fortunate to have could be my last one if it doesn't work.
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