DuranDuran Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Recently, I just started dating a girl who seems like an enigma to me. Our relationship so far has consisted of numerous one night stands. The intimacy during these encounters is amazing. The problem is that we rarely talk on the phone or have real dates. Keep in mind, she's a single mom with lots of other baggage; which I won't get into. Should I keep asking for a real date ? or should I enjoy the friend with benefits... Duran.
kitkat826 Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 You seem to have the type of relationship with her that most guys would kill for, so expect soon to see some comments along the lines of "Why are you complaining??!?!" However, if you really are looking for something more than a booty call, then I would mention something to her. The worst she can do is turn you down, in which case you know its not meant to be. But its better than developing true feelings later down the road and not having them reciprocated.
Author DuranDuran Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 You seem to have the type of relationship with her that most guys would kill for, so expect soon to see some comments along the lines of "Why are you complaining??!?!" LOL....yeah, nothing like a booty call. Maybe, I'm afraid of losing her booty all together if I ask for too much.
kitkat826 Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Maybe, I'm afraid of losing her booty all together if I ask for too much. Its a possibility. I can imagine myself becoming uneasy by something like that if I was truly satisfied with the current arrangement. I don't have kids, but I understand what its like to have a busy life and not have the energy or desire for a boyfriend. But try being more generally "friendly" with her, if you want, and see how she reacts. Even in casual sex relationships, IMO, its nice to have some type of connection and repoire outside of the bedrooms, even if its not relationship oriented.
Gold Pile Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 she's a single mom with lots of other baggage She is scarred for life. She is nuts, don't get close, keep your heart out of this.
kitkat826 Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 She is scarred for life. You better pray that you are not the pot calling the kettle black in this case GP. On a more serious note, your comment about her is harsh. We ALL have baggage. This woman has children by another man from a relationship that obviously didn't work out. I have my own issues revolving around abandonment. Other people have baggage SO serious that it forces them to put on the facade of being almost an entirely different and more lucrative person so that they can get laid. Aren't we an interesting species?? I personally don't like to judge too much.
whichwayisup Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Enjoy it for what it is for now. Order in dinner, stay in bed. Take advantage of talking and cuddling after sex. Give her A flower (I really do mean ONE) before having sex, or have it placed beside the bed. You will know how she responds to that, and/or all the cuddling/talking together. Don't be intense, but maybe slowly open the door for "outside" adventures instead of always hitting the sack together.
Art_Critic Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Enjoy it for what it is for now. Great advice.. She isn't into having something complex.. Just pay attention to her signals.. They may change and if you don't see them she will start to resent you for using her for sex and not seeing that she has kids and wants the relationship to change
RecordProducer Posted December 12, 2005 Posted December 12, 2005 I think if she keeps seeing you and you have a great time when you're together then she must have some feelings for you deeper than horniness. Women generally are more into love than sex. If she has emotional baggage then she is handling it well by not letting you in her heart too quickly. She sounds like a sensible woman to me. Just be nice to her and treat her as if she is your girlfriend. If she likes you, she will respond to your behavior accordingly after a while.
Gold Pile Posted December 12, 2005 Posted December 12, 2005 You better pray that you are not the pot calling the kettle black in this case GP. On a more serious note, your comment about her is harsh. We ALL have baggage. This woman has children by another man from a relationship that obviously didn't work out. I have my own issues revolving around abandonment. Other people have baggage SO serious that it forces them to put on the facade of being almost an entirely different and more lucrative person so that they can get laid. Aren't we an interesting species?? I personally don't like to judge too much. entirely different?? Half a year I dated this divorced mom. She was very pretty and crazy as all heck. It took me several months to grasp that she was crazy. I wanted to break it off, but she dumped me first. I'm just a little bitter on this one. So I do judge too harshly...you're right. I like your brains and wit, I hope to like your body as well:love:
Gold Pile Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 Enjoy it for what it is for now. Order in dinner, stay in bed. Take advantage of talking and cuddling after sex. Give her A flower (I really do mean ONE) before having sex, or have it placed beside the bed. You will know how she responds to that, and/or all the cuddling/talking together. Don't be intense, but maybe slowly open the door for "outside" adventures instead of always hitting the sack together. Or some spinach
Neptune Posted December 13, 2005 Posted December 13, 2005 Quote by DuranDuran: Keep in mind, she's a single mom with lots of other baggage; which I won't get into. So, what do you prefer to happen with this relationship? Are you just wanting a broader uncommited relationship that includes more traditional dates? Or do you really want a fully commited couple style of thing? Because it seems that you already have some feelings here. The more in depth you get with her, the more likely you will get emotionally wrapped up in the single mom with lots of other baggage.
kitkat826 Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 I like your brains and wit, I hope to like your body as well:love: Well I can't stop a man from liking what he likes....just don't like too much, because I know Puerto Rican Judo.
Art_Critic Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Puerto Rican Judo. Is that where the hub caps off his bmw disappear while on the date ?
kitkat826 Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 Is that where the hub caps off his bmw disappear while on the date ? That's where my backup comes in handy... Actually, Puerto Rican Judo is because "judo know if I gotta knife, judo know if I gotta gun..." (Don't worry GP, I'll leave the P.R. judo at home, as long as you promise to be good!) BTW, no need to refer to it as a "date"... merely a meeting between two neighbors, in pursuit of the truth.
Author DuranDuran Posted December 15, 2005 Author Posted December 15, 2005 fyi, I've decided to stop seeing her. The relationship was fun but just too one dimensional for an older guy like me. She rarely asked me any personal questions. I doubt she even could remember my age or describe my occupation. In other words, I knew everything about her likes, dis-likes, past relationships, career goals etc but she didn't seem to care about mine. Thanks for all the comments and advice. Duran.
RecordProducer Posted December 15, 2005 Posted December 15, 2005 So nice to hear that men want more than sex...
Gold Pile Posted December 16, 2005 Posted December 16, 2005 That's where my backup comes in handy... Actually, Puerto Rican Judo is because "judo know if I gotta knife, judo know if I gotta gun..." (Don't worry GP, I'll leave the P.R. judo at home, as long as you promise to be good!) BTW, no need to refer to it as a "date"... merely a meeting between two neighbors, in pursuit of the truth. Of course I promise to be good! Save the Judo... maybe in the future we'll get bored with vanilla sex and want to try judo as a kinky thing. No ball kicking please. I'm not defensless, I can escape after distracting you with multiple orgasms.
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