damwinston Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 I have found myself in a similar situation as most of you here and am trying to educate myself a bit in order to learn how to act correctly as I have obviously acted so stupid. But what does NC mean? And do I need to do it? lol. dammy
newbby Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 it means no contact. probably you need to do it. what are the details?
Author damwinston Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 details are: he was not married. i was not married. we were both involved with other people though. nothing happened until after we had both told the other partner - i made sure of that. thought that i was doing it correctly. he owes me money and is using that to keep me calling him - and he admits it. so yes, i need to join the nc group. if dues need to be paid can you ask him to pay them for me since he owes me money anyway?? dammy
Author damwinston Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 the rest of the details are just too difficult to deal with. Oh, and the money part, it is significant - like $1600. dammy
newbby Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 details are: he was not married. i was not married. we were both involved with other people though. nothing happened until after we had both told the other partner - i made sure of that. thought that i was doing it correctly. he owes me money and is using that to keep me calling him - and he admits it. so yes, i need to join the nc group. if dues need to be paid can you ask him to pay them for me since he owes me money anyway?? dammy for a minute there i thought you were asking me to tell him to pay up are you?
Author damwinston Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 actually i have turned that over to my father. i don't know what else to do. plus the sh*t head apparently didn't pay his phone bill and now his phone is turned off - makes the no contact thing somewhat easier. however, at some point he is going to show up at my house - how do i have no contact with him when he is at the front door?? dammy
newbby Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 what are you trying to gain? do you wish to be with him?
Author damwinston Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 of course i do but it is an impossibility. he has treated me poorly (to say it nicely). chances are that he is back with his ex. he has kids. they are going to hate me because it is easier to believe that i am the reason that they broke up rather than the truth. have you ever noticed that no one believes the truth? whether i want to be with him or not doesn't matter.
Author damwinston Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 and what am i trying to gain? well first my sanity. second my money. third my reputation. the reputation is last because i know the truth. i didn't break up his relationship just as he didn't break up mine. the sanity is up to me but it is his responsibility to pay the money.
Sami_D Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Why do you want to be with someone who (from the little you've written here) has behaved so very badly? Having to get your father involved in getting money back from him..? He has had to have his phone turned off..? He's lying about you to other people..? Yuk.
newbby Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 i agree with sami here. once you get your sanity, you wont want him back. let him say what he likes about you, theres probably not alot you can do about it, i have been in similar situations, and just let them keep talking about me till they got bored, a year or so later, i found that the only people that believed him, were those whose opinions i did not respect anyway. the people who i found had some perception and my kind of people really, had never believed him at all, despite me never telling my side of the story. hopefully your father can get your money back for you. keep posting, if you are finding nc difficult and ask for support, just someone to answer you etc, or get involved in other peoples threads, it will take your mind off wanting to contact him until you become sane again.
Author damwinston Posted December 12, 2005 Author Posted December 12, 2005 thank you. yes i agree. it makes no sense. but you know it feels so right when we are together and blah blah blah. i went out to eat with parents. come home and there is a message (on my father's answering machine). its him, call him back, he will be here tomorrow blah blah blah). same stuff different day. and then my heart starts - i like him. and then my head comes back - so what?? i like garlic also but i know when i have had enough of that. tired of the same old same old, dammy
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