JS17 Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 Well I'm sure many people will give you the wah wah but I don't think it's superficial at all. I think it's the exact opposite. We look the way we look because it makes us happy with ourselves to be the best we can be in every aspect of our lives. I don't think I'm model material by any means or that I'm too good looking but it's enough that I have seen a change in the men that I date and the relationships that I have. You can't really know if you like someone before you meet them, chemistry is too important. I'm sure that these guys don't think of you as JUST looks. They may like you to some extent but not just as much as you would like them to. Again, I don't have any answers for you but we could just keep b!tching about it to each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SMHappyface Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 You hit some good points JS - we look the way we look BECAUSE we care about our bodies, not because we are all wrapped up in ourselves. I KNOW I am not going to get into modeling, or that I think I'm the most gorgeous girl out there. And I don't just work on my physical - I keep hobbies, recreation, reading, culture, etc of stuff to enrich my mind as well, but alas that is not flaming obvious to the male species. If you ever watched the movie Shallow Hal, I wish that who a person was how they looked outside. I mean looks attract a person initially, I don't deny that. BUT, if there was a way to build substance to the relationship afterwards, but guys, the visual creatures that they are, are all like "Gagaaahhhhh, shes soooo hot!" and not even care if she has an IQ of 20ish!! Link to post Share on other sites
scobro Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 i am sure it works for women they check out bodies too I would assume.Its real easy to want someone who looks great and has a killer body but once you talk to them and they are all about themselves or dumb as doornails you realise the body doesn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SMHappyface Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 i am sure it works for women they check out bodies too I would assume.Its real easy to want someone who looks great and has a killer body but once you talk to them and they are all about themselves or dumb as doornails you realise the body doesn't matter. This may be true, but it has been my experience that guys are more into looks than girls are. A guy focuses on the body and is all into that over personality... unless it REALLY sucks. But a Great personality, ok body IMO will get less attention than Ok personality and GREAT body... Link to post Share on other sites
omegaRED Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 This may be true, but it has been my experience that guys are more into looks than girls are. A guy focuses on the body and is all into that over personality... unless it REALLY sucks. But a Great personality, ok body IMO will get less attention than Ok personality and GREAT body... Possibly, but that only goes if the guy is not looking for something serious. I`d take the great personality/ok body over the great body/ok personality any day of the week. If i was looking for something serious. Which, it seems, is what i`m always looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SMHappyface Posted December 12, 2005 Author Share Posted December 12, 2005 Possibly, but that only goes if the guy is not looking for something serious. I`d take the great personality/ok body over the great body/ok personality any day of the week. If i was looking for something serious. Which, it seems, is what i`m always looking for. *Lightbulb* So basically superficial guys are those just looking for a good time, a hot shag, or something casual? The old adage that men date blondes and marry brunettes (not based on hair color in truth, but more substance) might be true. Basically I need to stop falling for those guys who are looking for a good time, but those who are past that and are looking for something meaningful Link to post Share on other sites
omegaRED Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Look, you know what, us guys are into looks. That`s the initial criteria. I`d be lying to you if i said i wasn`t. But that`s really superficial, and if you date an attractive woman/average personality, the negative are gonna outweigh the positive pretty soon after the initial "smurf sex". Whereas the great personality girl... Maybe i`d initially go for the great body girl, but if i spend a little time with the great personality girl at some point i`d see that i enjoy spending as much time as possible with her. So there`s the basis for a serious relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
scobro Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 I am gonna go for the girl with the GREAT! body,awesome personality and is about to inherit an obscene amount of money.(now thats love) Link to post Share on other sites
Painwraith Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Ok I think what they are saying is that if you are out for a mutual booty call thing then you go for someone who is good looking but dumb as a brick because all you are trying to do is relieve some tension, you dont give a damn about their personality beyond the intial 'Hi hows it going?' stage. I dont tend to do that myself but I have friends who do, I do get booty calls from afriend (which is damn nice!) and she is wuite deep and nice herself, we tried a relationship but it was the wrong time and the wrong moment for both of us. When I get into a relationship a proper one I dont tend to worry so much about the physical attributes unless they have five eyes and tenticles... mainly its about wether she will stay with me, let me do what I need and have to do without stopping me. all I want in a mate is an understanding relatively baggage free woman who will stand by me and respect my opinions and beliefs. I of course will do the same.... Pain Link to post Share on other sites
unimoko Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 You know, my engagement just went bust last week. Except I was the one who "broke things" up. I exchanged my engagement ring for a wedding set and thought everything was okay b/c we talked about it. Left him around for 2 days and he questioned our relationship which I blurted out I kissed a guy on a plane (to the U.K. after my graduation) 6 months prior to our engagement. You know, I feel for you terribly. I am 23 and I did so much for him (he is severly over-weight and has emotional problems) and he couldn't/can't forgive me. It just makes me question wheter or not I myself was more in it for the idea of getting married than being married to a person. Love ain't easy and thinking about it now I wish I was honest about this realtionship than dragging it on just to have a "husband". Maybe the ending of this relationship was for the best, a terrible breakup is far better than a miserable marriage and a messy divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
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