AltplanB Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 Well if youve read my posts you would know that i was one of the retards that had hope of a second chance. I kept hope for 2 months and did everything i could to get her back while at the same time trying not to appear needy. She never thought twice about it. I went to see her today (MISTAKE) and talked to her for 2 hours. She's with a EX friend of mine and was wearing his shirt as pajamas. OMG i almost died. Anyways she tells me that she is completely over me and that there is no chance of us EVER getting back together and that she is totally infatuated with the new guy whom she met a week after me. She tells me that he is not a rebound but is more the type of guy that she is looking for. I ask her why she didn't take the time to help me become the guy she is looking for and she says its not gonna help me to talk about it. So basically i got shafted and she never looked back. I now know that i have no chance of getting back with her and there is no point in holding out hope. My only concern is that I am able to move on and get out of the lonely rut that is my life. What killed me was how fast she moved on, like i meant nothing to her. When i asked her about how she moved on so fast, it was just, "i thought i was in love, and then one day it hit me, and i realized that you were not the guy for me and that we couldn't be together." It killed me. Here is this girl that i love, has loved me, and just up and goes without any reflection on my behalf. I have no problems, i have nothing wrong with me. This is the first major emotional dillema ive had to face. She just knew we didn't mesh and she was SOOO sure that it would never work, after a year of love. Well anyways, im begining the healing process all over again. But this time, i don't hold any hope. I won't talk, text, mail, email, or contact her in anyway. I want her back so badly and because of that, i can not contact her. She is out of my life now and as much as it hurts, i know that i will meant someone that tickles my fancy. What i am not looking forward too is the waiting. I am not looking forward to the already dismal friday nights when i can't get a date and i sit alone at home while my friends all have quite time with their gf's. She destroyed my confidence and she did it with a smile. I know i don't need her, and i feel sorry for the next guy that gets dumped all of a sudden. It was only today that she told me this is how her previous relationships ended. It was only then that i felt bad for those "jerks". Point of Interest: Don't you hate it when they get hotter throughout the relationship and just when your most attracted to them, they dump you? I mean ****in hell.
travellingman Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 how could she make you become the guy she wanted? you're doing the right thing, but you can't expect someone to change you like that, and the question itself sounds kind of desperate
scobro Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 She's with a EX friend of mine and was wearing his shirt as pajamas. Oh man that's harsh.(sucks) she tells me that she is completely over me and that there is no chance of us EVER getting back together and that she is totally infatuated with the new guy whom she met a week after me. She tells me that he is not a rebound but is more the type of guy that she is looking for. Well enough said, it doesn't get much clearer than that.(sucks) i realized that you were not the guy for me My ex said that too (sucks) she told me this is how her previous relationships ended. Patterns usually repeat. I feel for you man it hurts but just do the best you can with the situation.
SMHappyface Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 You can't take the crap your ex says for reality. She sounds like she is full of excuses for what was "WRONG" with you, but in reality she is the denominator in all of her failed relationships. When you did your best, you can't take responsibility for her actions. My ex told me his "reasons" for breaking up with me included me not doing his laundry enough and cooking often enough. You can't believe all the S*it they say. I know it sucks terribly right now, and even though you HATE to hear this, time WILL heal it. Stay strong man - if you let her fester in your life, your pain will continue. Go 100% NC, rip off the band-aid man. Only by having her out of your life can you move on. Do you really want a girl that changes her mind all the time? NO! You need/deserve a girl that WANTS to be with YOU. After a breakup, it is a time to be selfish a little bit - do what makes YOU happy, pamper yourself, surround yourself with your friends. Cry if you need to, punch a punching bag, throw stuffed animals, scream, let it out, but move on.
In Sync Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Point of Interest: Don't you hate it when they get hotter throughout the relationship and just when your most attracted to them, they dump you? I mean ****in hell. And there you go right after she "double-dumps" your ass putting her on a pedastal...with that attitude you're road to recovery is going to be pure hell. Why you at why don't you keep fantasizing about how beautiful she is wearing the pjs in bed with the Ex friend. The lesson here Mr. Masochist is she's a slag who went with a friend of yours...ick!
westernxer Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 I ask her why she didn't take the time to help me become the guy she is looking for and she says its not gonna help me to talk about it. She's right.
rastafari Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 i agree with smiles, the blond, from what i have seen in the past relationship. a good majority of the reasons why a girl or whomever doesnt want to be wih you is garbage. mine told me that i dont tell her shes beautiful, its not the same, i dont get text messages from you, you dont think before you speek. haha. i commented on all this BS to her a few weeks back. she said "i said all that?" from my expirence, she doesnt mean all of it, shes a girl which means that she is not on the same wavelength as us. its true. plus, do you really want a girl back that got with your friend within a week of breakin up with you? she was eyen him before you broke up man. im not telling you to do anything, but wouldnt be funny if you were bangin her friend. her mom would be even better if possible. takin out your agressions on mommy. ha! sorry about my immaturity fellow LS'ers.
Clevelandfan Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Yeah,..you gotta let this type of b*tch go. She's out for herself only. Don't worry,...Karma will swing her way. She thinks it's greener,..let her go. Get over her and when you finally do,..she may come your way. If you treated them with respect and love when you were with them, they never forget you. Hang in there. Go NC, it's the only way.
SMHappyface Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 While the MOM comment is hillarious, revenge sex doesn't usually make u feel better. The beautiful part of being single is that you CAN do whatever the heck u want! You have to realize (and believe) that you still an awesome person without your ex. Work on finding who you are and getting back to that core. Blow off you ex, you don't need her and surround yourself with true friends that actually care about you.
Treasa Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 I ask her why she didn't take the time to help me become the guy she is looking for and she says its not gonna help me to talk about it. That isn't her job. Trying to change someone else is pointless. I have no problems, i have nothing wrong with me. Uh.....huh. Really now, you have no problems? Geez, someone saying that would be the first thing that would make me break up with him. Admittedly, I don't know how this girl has been so mean to you (I haven't read your other posts), but from what you've said in this post, it sounds like she's just trying to be level with you. Wouldn't you prefer that over someone messing with your head? I also don't think she's being selfish. She didn't want to be with you, she told you directly, and she moved on. How exactly is that selfish? Is she supposed to wait a predetermined amount of time before going on about her life? I broke up with my ex (although the love was fading quickly) about a week before starting to date my current boyfriend, whom I've been with for a year and a half. It was the best decision I could have made. I don't think it makes me selfish in the least. I understand you're hurting and angry, but I don't think you can blame someone for laying it out for you as clearly as she has. I think if more people were that direct we wouldn't have so many problems.
patwheel Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 I understand you're hurting and angry, but I don't think you can blame someone for laying it out for you as clearly as she has. I think if more people were that direct we wouldn't have so many problems. I think that being direct is the best (although most painful) kind of break up. Think about it Alt, she might have been looking around, fell out of love, and was just trying to keep the flame going between you guys, see if there would be a change. The truth is, it is better than her stabing you in the back and go with someone else. People get comfortable in relationship, people are afraid of change, people are just not willing to hear or say what their flaws or quirks are. Build ups create, and at one point its bound to explode. Lack of communication? Frustration growing? Her directness is probably a result of that, even though you are hurting right now, you'll see that this is the best thing she's ever done for you: opening your eyes for you to see who you are and not repeat the same mistake you have done in the past! And her being with someone else already, well, who are you to tell her what to do? At this point in time, you are no one for her, just a bad memory she'd like to erase with the next guy coming. And so what? She didn't have time to reflect on herself, did not accept the fact that she contributed to the fall of your relationship, and as long as she'll keep doing that, she won't grow up, and will stay stuck in the "discovering herself" phase. Dont play her game, focus on yourself, and get yourself outside!
Author AltplanB Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 yea your all right. What i meant by me not having any problems is that i don't have any emotional or stressing issues that really bother me. That is, until her. However i did realize that i tend to see the negatives in things and after time, that starts to wear people down. I dunno, ive learned a lot but it still really hurts, worst of all when i can't stop thinking about them having sex on a friday night. OMG that is the worst. I gotta get my balls back. I keep meeting ladies that are pretty good looking and stuff, and i keep getting numbers, but i am just dont feel like i got my grove back yet. Like im out of focus. Vulnerable i guess would fit. My jokes are not as funny, im quieter...I talk with like my testicles haven't dropped yet....Hard **** to deal with. Ive got help though. GOt a freshmen that sleeps over and talks to me about her. Just wants to help and maybe score me when im ready. Not gonna happen though. Anyways, Im gonna finish up finals, go to cabo, and do what my jock friends told me to do...wrap myself around woman after woman till one of them sparks your interest. I can get back into that lifestyle, i just got to break out of this rut.
SMHappyface Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Take it easy, that's all there is really to say. You're young and in time you'll find somebody way better.
lilmoma1973 Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Take it easy, that's all there is really to say. You're young and in time you'll find somebody way better. Totally agree !! The mom your joking!!! that is just too funny!!
Author AltplanB Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 well her mom IS a young widow. Not bad looking either. hmmmmmmm
rastafari Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 hummmmmmmm? is more like yummmmmmmm. personally, i think it would be better if her mom was older so she could show you a thing or two from experience. she could just toss you around like a ragdoll.
Author AltplanB Posted December 12, 2005 Author Posted December 12, 2005 thats disgusting. This topic is over. Besides, i met a phoenix that likes me and is not bad lookin. REBOUND ahooooyyyy!
CaliGuy Posted December 12, 2005 Posted December 12, 2005 thats disgusting. This topic is over. Besides, i met a phoenix that likes me and is not bad lookin. REBOUND ahooooyyyy! Before you go rushing into a new relationship, might I make a few suggestions? 1. Reflect on what you might have done wrong to cause the demise of the relationship (too clingy, put her on a pedestel, not investing enough time in friends, hobbies, exercise). 2. Work on areas you can improve upon yourself. 3. Don't rush into a new relationship. Be friends with the new girl first. Heck, you might even let her know you're on the rebound and want to take things slow. She might even respect you for that. 4. Focus on rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem. Women love confident and happy guys. If you are neither, you'll crash hard again and again until you fix your problems, you are bound to repeat them. The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over, expecting different results each time. Learn from your past mistakes and vow never to repeat them. Focus on self-improvement. Learn to be confident and happy. Have a life of your own so that you don't need someone in your life, they compliment it. Write down your goals and stick it someplace where you can see it. Read it often and check your progress. Hope I have helped you in some way. Good luck to you.
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