smile95 Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 I know you are all probably sick of hearing from me, but I am starting to feel ok.... I no longer burst into tears when I think of him and almost feel ready to get back out in the world agian and date. I guess it could be time, or the fact that the ex showed his true colors recently, or the fact that he is all talk, but whatever it is.....I feel different! My guess is it is time......I finally see that I CAN live without him. All he caused was heartache and nothing he gave me made my life any better....maybe a few great memories, but that was from the early days. I see that after the 1st yr, it was all in my head. He may love me(he still tells me) but this is not love to me. Not the kind I want. I think he just loves to mess with me and string me along so that I am waiting for him when his job slows down. I finally see it and his pattern. So................did anyone else have this breakthrough? Youactually FEEL diffrent. Eyes opened or woke up one day feeling ok alone? I truly think that it had a lot to do with the passing of my Grandma. Seeing the way he treated me and seeing the way my other friends and family treated me. He is cold and heartless and has no empathy. I hope this is a good phase! I am going to do this! I am going to so this for the new yr and myself! I hope all of you coping get to this point. I never ever thought I would be here and thought "it takes time" was a bunch of bull, but it is something that helps.
slubberdegullion Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 This should be pinned. Everyone who's breaking up should read this post. Friggin brilliant.
patwheel Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 Yay for smile95! I feel the same also. Just from one day to the other, I went from being down low on the ground to being the hubble satellite looking down on my relationship, and decided it just wasnt right anymore!
Author smile95 Posted December 10, 2005 Author Posted December 10, 2005 it is odd one day you see what all the people around you saw many many yrs ago (or months) that you never did see. Love does weird things to the brain!
slubberdegullion Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 Love does weird things to the brain! It does goofy things to the genitals too.
chocolate_boy Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 Yeah same here, I was crazy about my ex, until last time we met (about 3 weeks ago) she was once again a bitch to me and after kissing me etc. she once again rejected me.. and for some reason after that (and some pretty cutting sms messages from her) I just stopped thinking about her much. These last two weeks I may think about her 2-3 times a day, but compared to before (24/7) it's amazing, I too almost feel ready to date again, but have no desire for my ex now, and I know if she wanted me back I would 100% say no. I'm actually liking being on my own at the moment, tonight I had my apartment to myself, I lay on the sofa watching TV, slept for a bit, then woke up had a pizza.. a REAL lazy night, but I am loving it tonight, so nice not to have any pressure or stress and just to do what I want to do.
scobro Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Sucks big time for me,for the last week everyday I think about my ex all day long this is the worst it's been since I moved out on my own in October.I have the gutwrench again and have been doing NC for the 2 months or so.Its gotten worse not better unless this is just a phase.i WOULD NOT WISH THE LAST 5 MONTHS OF MY LIFE ON ANYONE(EXCEPT MY EX)ARRRG
SMHappyface Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 My guess is it is time......I finally see that I CAN live without him. So................did anyone else have this breakthrough? Youactually FEEL diffrent. Eyes opened or woke up one day feeling ok alone? I know what you mean. It may not be a totally 100% thing 24/7, but the day (over a month ago) my ex finally called me up and told me it was over for sure and the crap he was saying on the phone was the first time I realized he really WAS an a**h***! Previous to this I had been a nervous wreak - trying to believe him, thinking the whole situation was a big mistake. I lost 12 lbs in two weeks, it was TERRIBLE! But the next day I smiled for the first time - I even slept good. Wierd, huh? The jerk of 3 years and my fiance dumps me over the phone, and I'm HAPPY!? But it was closure. Sure, I get choked up about him now and then, but the fact is, he made a choice and he was heartless about the whole thing. That probably was the only way I could've stopped loving him. Today I have been single for about two months. I was singing and skipping doing Christmas shopping. Part of me feels I should still be upset, but how can you truly miss something that you know for sure was a lie?
NoFaith05 Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 I agree. The hardest thing to accept was that the entire relationship was one big lie- a load of pure BS. But I also am feeling better now. I just try to enjoy my days, and the little things in life, and to be happy with myself. I am also letting go of my hatred for the ex- which has helped me tremendously. Peope have noticed that I have changed for the better. I still have no desire to date though- I don't really need the stress, or the hassle. Plus I am terrified of getting hurt again. It has happened one too many times.
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