unwantedbf Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 well me and my ex had been going out for almost 5 months dating 1 month and together for almost 4, we had the most amazing summer ever doing romantic things and she was always telling me how perfect we were together. she totally lit up my life, i felt complete when i was with her, we were on same wave length, shared same interests, everyone thought we were good together. college started and she was busy with college, but we still saw each other 3 times a week and it was soo perfect short sharp and intense time together. within 1 month of being together we did stuff together like a little forplay, but no sex. she is a virgin (almost 19) im 21 she is very innocent but it must have been a big thing for her to let me do what i did. she had been in a previous realtionship with a tool for 1.5 years and he cheated on her and they ended. we had a semi rocky relationship at times because she did not sms much or communicate, i felt like a part time boyfriend at times. when we were together physically everything wass perfect, but inbetween it was a little distant, but she isnt a phone person, always has phone on silent cos she works after college. well we have a talk yesterday, and she says she likes me and likes been with me, but she doesnt like me as much as i like her and she thinks its unfair on me to carry on the relationship, by now my hearts been ripped out and nailed to the wall, she was so sweet the way she finished me if u know what i mean and i know she did it with the best of intentions, only problem is i absolutly adore her more than anyone else. i havent eaten for over a day, i cant eat, i cant sleep, my heartrate is over 100 all the time i have pain in my abdomen i want to be her friend i really do, and look out for her I(she is also my best friend) so i dont want to lose her. but im wondering if i am being her friend for the wrong reasons, the thought of her with someone else makes me feel physically sick. id rather be her friend than not at all. what do i do guys.
travellingman Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 if you want to be friends, you first need a no contact period to transition out of being together you'll get over her, and you might find you don't want to be friends after that, but either way, this is done and you need to move on
Author unwantedbf Posted December 10, 2005 Author Posted December 10, 2005 as much as i want to move on i cant. im not going to try to get her to love me, im hoping maybe she will change her mind one day, although im pretty sure she wont, we never argued, always laughed at each others jokes. i dont know if its cos she is scared of commitment after been hurt badly before. and in a paternal way i dont want some a**h*** luring her and taking advantage and ending up hurting her.
slubberdegullion Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 as much as i want to move on i cant. Yes, you can and you will. No one said it would be easy, though. i dont want some a**h*** luring her and taking advantage and ending up hurting her. No thinking person would disagree. But since the split, this isn't your issue anymore. You are not responsible for her choices, nor can you (or should you) keep her protected from everything or everyone who may pose a threat. Stay strong, my friend, and you'll be fine. She's lucky to have had you in her life, and even if that's now over, you've done your part and she'll be thankful, though it may take some time.
travellingman Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 and in a paternal way i dont want some a**h*** luring her and taking advantage and ending up hurting her. you mean like she hurt you?
twinkle2 Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 are you guys still friends? do you talk? I know exactly how you feel, I too had a summer romance where I met someone who I felt was the love of my life. I hadn't ever felt like that before, but he doesn't feel the same about me (he's still in love with his ex). My heart is broken, I don't eat anymore, I have to take sleeping pills to help me to sleep and I also have been drinking a lot (not good). I've been trying no contact, but I haven't been consistent. At this point, I don't think that he even wants to be my friend now because I think he is getting annoyed. I guess my advice is to leave her alone for awhile...maybe one day she will realize how great of a guy you are and you two can work something out. Don't do what I did (calling all the time) because it may just make her annoyed
Kengne II Posted December 12, 2005 Posted December 12, 2005 if you want to be friends, you first need a no contact period to transition out of being together you'll get over her, and you might find you don't want to be friends after that, but either way, this is done and you need to move on This is 100% on point. NC until you can handle JUST being her friend and the tht of her being with someone else doesn't make you sick. Given that you still have strong feelings for her at this point, being in C with her will only hinder not help the healing process for you. Be strong. K.
Recommended Posts