shady666 Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 So about a month ago I was out suppose to just go hang out with my friend for the night. Then about a half hour before I was suppose to meet her, she calls me to tell me that one of her guy friends wants to hang out with her and she wanted me to come along. So, I was like sure why not... My friend has a boyfriend so I knew that this guy that she was going to hang out with tonight was just a friend of hers... Now... I happened to know this guy because we went to high school together. So, I go and he tells my friend that he likes me and wants to hang with me more... So, my friend tells me that and then things have been going well... Now I knew before I went out with him that he was in a relationship for 4 years and was engaged to this girl. This was his first love. They only have been broken up for about 6 to 7 months now. We have been hanging out a good bit lately... about once a week. Last night he took me to met some of his friends. In which, was fun... but then someone there told him that his exgirlfriend was getting engaged to the guy that she left him for. He was really upset and then me and him left. When we get into the car he told me how upset that made him. Then told me that he didn't really want to know that. Then he asked says He was just about over her until now. He has know must of the people that we were hanging out with way before he met me, but he told me he felt comfortable talking about this with me more then them. So, he tells me he is kindof over her but I can tell he is still not in a way. I know this is going to take time... but I hope not too much time... Then when he drops me off he tells me that we should hang out agian... so everything is cool with that... I just really don't want to be in the "Friends Zone" with him. I can't believe after knowing him for a month and hanging out with him about 5 to 6 times he tells me that stuff... but he always said he likes to put the truth out first. I am completely okay with him talking about that stuff. He has dated other girls before kindof dating me... but I think I am the only girl he has really opened up too about his ex. So, what I am looking for is advice for this situation... Anyone ever been in this situation before... Do you think that I am going to get stuck in the friends zone or do you think that I have a chance with him?
slubberdegullion Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 You most certainly do have a chance. So take the initiative, because life rewards action. Kiss him. Not one of those dry bird-like pecks on the cheek that you get from gramma. Moisten your lips and plant a really nice juicy one on him, with just a tiny bit of tongue. When he takes a breath, kiss him again. It takes courage, but nothing worth having comes easily. Good luck! if you need kissing lessons, let me know..!
Outcast Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 Sorry Slub but I so disagree. Nothing would be worse than to plant an unwanted buss on someone and then seeing him look uncomfortable or worse. She should continue to 'hang' with him but be sure to look into his eyes when she talks to him, touch him from time to time - essentially see what happens when she's in his personal space. If he doesn't move away, then she can get bolder. But to just plant a smooch on some guy right out of the blue could really blow up in her face.
slubberdegullion Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 But to just plant a smooch on some guy right out of the blue could really blow up in her face. Yes, I agree, it could turn sour. But IMHO, a passionate kiss is a direct and relatively non-threatening way to make one's feelings known. It's a risk, I grant you, but if the friendship is strong - and it looks like it is - then if the kiss doesn't turn out as planned, the friendship should be able to withstand it. By the way, this worked for me a few times. "Friends" who were close and with whom I wanted a more intimate relationship suddenly found themselves on the receiving end of a very erotic lip-lock. Worked for me! It only went sour once, but that woman and I are still buddies but without any expectation of intimacy.
Author shady666 Posted December 10, 2005 Author Posted December 10, 2005 He is interested in me but after that conversation I was really afraid of being in the friends zone. So, I gave him a hug and said good night and then he said we should hang out agian I said yes we should. I am not going to just kiss him... The though has crossed my mind but not yet... He also said how when he dated people after him and his ex broke up usually the girl has to intiate everything and if they didn't then he didn't persue it anymore... I think with me it is different... because he is actually persuing me more then I was persuing him...
Milo Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Rebound!? Just my word of caution. What, after 6 or 7 months of being broken up?
seachange Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Well, 6 or 7 months isn't really that long, seeing as the relationship lasted 4 years and the guy was engaged... ...but anyway, it sounds to me like you're more than a rebound. I think you've got a great chance. He just had a setback - that kind of thing would set anyone back - but he likes you, he pursued you and he opened up to you. I don't think you're in the friend zone. Just be gentle with him.
Author shady666 Posted December 13, 2005 Author Posted December 13, 2005 After him and his ex broke up he went out with 5 other girls... but these girls were just sex to him... I love the fact that he is planning my 21st birthday party with my friend even though it is like a year away... and he is taking me to this concert with a bunch of his friends in 2 months...Plus he even said something about me meeting his mother... So, I think it is cool that he already has future events planned... The other night I went to meet his friends... In which was cool... Then the next day his roommate/best friend (I just met him the other day) befriends me on myspace and asks me how I like the party and if I wanted to hang out with him?? So, I was all confused... My main interest is in his friend not him... I was just thinking maybe they are trying to find out if I am really interested in him or something... I don't know but I know that this guy wouldn't try to take me from him becsuse they are best friends... but my response back was "When ever "my guy" is free then sure..." So, he didn't write me back after that I guess he got the hint... We just hung out 3 days in a row... In which was awesome... I really like him... Now... my thing is that I am not really experienced in dating... Now I have been the one to make contact with him for the past week. I mean it has all been going good... I was thinking maybe I should wait for him to contact me next??? I know this has really no barring on anything but to me I have to think about this... He is not a virgin, but I am... Now he has been with alot of woman... My thought is how come he is wanting to date me?? Maybe that has nothing to do with anything... I have just been wondering that...
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