consumed Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 About a month ago my gf broke things off and I had to come back to my city ebcause I had moved out to her small town halfway accross the country. Anyways, just in the last week I've been surfing some dating site and I've been playing email tag with this girl. Well last night we finally chatted online for a good 3-4hrs. I'm not sure what to do because she was really persistant on meeting up and then pushed for tonight to do something. I said yes but I'm really not sure it's a good idea. I'm still getting my life back together working on myself, I have a new job in which my co-workings are having some party they want me to come out too tonight aswell. This girl seems really nice but it kinda seems really fast, plus after abour 3hrs she started telling me how she was watching some porn, (not that I mind or care) but she stated talking about sex and stuff. It didn't bother me that much because we had and were talking about many other things, but tonight I'm suppose to call her. Any advice for me? thx in advance.
Outcast Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 People should meet fairly soon in person after 'clicking' online but I think you are right to have some reservations about her. Don't let her push you into doing something you don't want to do. If you want to go to a party tonight, go. Maybe suggest you two meet for coffee tomorrow if you do want to meet her. I think first 'dates' with online people should be daytime dates and short. If you find you really hit it off, you can always extend it to lunch or dinner.
MSNOITALL Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 If you aren't comfortable, then you just aren't and I'd tell you the same thing I'd tell a girl if it was a male that was pushing to meet up so soon ...SAY NO! Just the idea she is talking about porn is enough to let you know that unless you are out for a possibly fatal one night stand, (due to STD's) then she's not worth the time you've spent online w/her anyway. Something tells me you are way to good for such a person. ....but....in the long run, you gotta decide for YOURSELF. Life is too short to have to spend time feeling as if you are rushed.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 I have to call this one as I see it, and that is that what you describe seems a potential horror story!! First of all, if you want to get the very best from meeting someone online, it takes time and only TIME to inspire the reduction of personal "walls" of the sort known to so many who socialize/romance online. There is nothing like encountering someone of interest online and chatting anonymously for some significant period of time, sharing deep personal secrets, and THEN getting to meet someone who seems much more precious for their having first shared so much, and then agreed/dared to face you. This situation you describe is filled with warning signals: **She was persistent about meeting up after only 3 or 4 hours of chat (3 or 4 weeks, or 3 or 4 months is more sensible) ** She started talking about herself watching PORN after 3 hours of chat (this is a terrible warning sign when a female is online listening to a male who wants to meet her, but just multiply that by tenfold when the genders are reversed) {and not that she doesn't have every right to have been watching porn, but think how unlikely a guy is to spell that out for a woman he might be wanting to impress and inspire, and then consider the female image and know that women are much more reserved socially, than are men, and only part of that is simply for safety's sake} On top of it all, you already have a fantastic invitation to go out and socialize with coworkers from a new job!! If the woman from online is that great, she'll stick around and continue to convey her interest. I'm not entirely convinced that she's really going to be a woman, though, among other things. And whatever you do, don't dial her from your home phone!!!!
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