Author Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 So if I called him what would I say? I cant help but think that if he liked me like that then he would have called - He isnt that shy!!
noclobber Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 So if I called him what would I say? I cant help but think that if he liked me like that then he would have called - He isnt that shy!! Lishy u can hesitate and wait for him to get in touch with you... but u conveyed ur feelings via email and he doesn't know what he is supposed to do. Just take this one chance and call him...
Art_Critic Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 So if I called him what would I say? I cant help but think that if he liked me like that then he would have called - He isnt that shy!! Ignore the fact that you emailed him in the beginning of the conversation and mention something about him driving by.. This is a guy that you let fu*k you.. you should be able to let the conversation just flow.. I think you are just scared that it won't..
Author Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 Ignore the fact that you emailed him in the beginning of the conversation and mention something about him driving by.. This is a guy that you let fu*k you.. you should be able to let the conversation just flow.. I think you are just scared that it won't.. I am petrified that it wont - All over this site I have read that if a guy doesnt call you shouldnt persue him, You should let him ring you and then you know is is interested in you I just have this gut feeling that this is about his ego and when I ignore my gut instinct it normally goes pear shaped!!! You are all giving such great advice and I feel ungrateful for not agreeing but something is telling me not to call him. I opened my heart to him and he could not even reply 'thanks but no thanks' Then he drives past my house constantly so i know he is still around, and its giving me a message that I may have got wrong and it frightens me so much.
Art_Critic Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 If your gut is saying No.. then go with your gut.. It doesn't resolve anything though.. he is driving by your house.. wouldn't you want to resolve this rather than believe that telling him your feelings drove him away ?
Author Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 If your gut is saying No.. then go with your gut.. It doesn't resolve anything though.. he is driving by your house.. wouldn't you want to resolve this rather than believe that telling him your feelings drove him away ? I feel that if we spoke about this then nothing would change except the fact that I opened up to him TWICE and still feel like ****! writing on here is like self therapy - and you all have been so wonderful, thanks for staying patient with me!!!!!!!
Author Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 The reason I wrote the mail in the first place was because he sounded mad at me and came up with a nonsense excuse why and I think he felt used by me. So I told him how I felt so that he didnt think I did it just for sex (which I didn't) What he thinks about me matters to me! Me telling him how I feel didnt drive him away ....
Art_Critic Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 writing on here is like self therapy - and you all have been so wonderful, thanks for staying patient with me!!!!!!! ..........anytime...
Touche Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Personally, I would never call him. The ball is in his court now. You laid our your true feelings. This driving by thing sounds so high school. And he says he doesn't play games? What about being mad at you and you never really knew why. Why couldn't he just be honest with you? I'm with you. I wouldn't call. A real man would not do this. He would have called you the SECOND he got your nice email.
Prim&proper Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Lishy, Wow. You and I keep having the same experiences with these two guys. Here's a little update with what happened to my guy. As a recap, remember i was seeing this guy who didn't want to be exclusive even though he wasn't seeing anyone else and i wasn't either. And then he got mad at me because I trapped him into going on a date. anyway, 2 weeks after our breakup, I sent him an email telling him how i felt about him and saying that I will always treasure our times together. Well, 2 whole weeks later (a month after the breakup), when I was ready to date again, he sends me an email in response to my email saying how he misses me and that he will always cherish our time together as well. So I was confused by the email as I wasn't sure whether it was a goodbye or that he was trying to tell me he wanted to get back together again. Anyway, I took a chance and called. We are now back together. We are still working out the exclusivity issue. I don't know if that helps, but I think the calling really allowed us to talk in person and allow us to tell each other how we feel. I think you should call him. You may get rejected. It may hurt, but you can then move on, instead of being in this limbo that you are now in.
Author Lishy Posted December 10, 2005 Author Posted December 10, 2005 Lishy, Wow. You and I keep having the same experiences with these two guys. Here's a little update with what happened to my guy. As a recap, remember i was seeing this guy who didn't want to be exclusive even though he wasn't seeing anyone else and i wasn't either. And then he got mad at me because I trapped him into going on a date. anyway, 2 weeks after our breakup, I sent him an email telling him how i felt about him and saying that I will always treasure our times together. Well, 2 whole weeks later (a month after the breakup), when I was ready to date again, he sends me an email in response to my email saying how he misses me and that he will always cherish our time together as well. So I was confused by the email as I wasn't sure whether it was a goodbye or that he was trying to tell me he wanted to get back together again. Anyway, I took a chance and called. We are now back together. We are still working out the exclusivity issue. I don't know if that helps, but I think the calling really allowed us to talk in person and allow us to tell each other how we feel. I think you should call him. You may get rejected. It may hurt, but you can then move on, instead of being in this limbo that you are now in. Hiya Prim Wow babe that is GREAT Now do you see what happened with you hon, you mailed him and HE mailed YOU back - If you had called him after 1 week I bet he wouldnt have missed you and responded like he did. Surely he has to have the chance to miss me? How could he respect me when I keep throwing my feelings at him without giving him the chance to find out what HIS feelings are? If he mails me or texts me i will call him and I would be fine about that - But I just know in my heart that contacting him again would be the wrong move. He can re-read my mail as many times as he wants and he can read it as needy or he can see what it is and read it as my true feelings without any BS. I told him in that mail that i would like something less casual with him but I will leave it up to him. I cant get any clearer can I? I feel like I am responding to someone else's problem here hahahaha And I really appreciate everyone's feedback here. I am sorry if I am disagreeing with all of you who say to call him. He has my mail address, my mobile number and my home number and he even knows where I work and live (He has been driving past enough lol) So he can be the man and call IF thats what he wants to do - If not it's his loss and I am sure I will get over it - I have got over MUCH worse!!!!!!!!!
Neptune Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 A person can always deny ever recieving an email. If you talk to him directly that is what he may tell you. So, why all the driving by and such? He can tell you that he thought you were being distant and he didn`t know what was going on. So, he was just giving you space. You already have your answer. It is obvious. You can tell by his behavior; it is consistent with recieving the email (even though he can deny it) 14 years is a long time. Going to be hard to do without. You will be willing after a while to put up with whatever flimsy logic he gives you. He is wearing you down, Waiting for you to get horny. And you will.
Author Lishy Posted December 10, 2005 Author Posted December 10, 2005 I know he recieved the mail as I can check mail status And he wasnt the guy I was with for 14 years - He is someone I was seeing casually for 5 months lol But Hey it is hard to do without ahhahahahha
Art_Critic Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 Okay.. if you won't communicate with him.. a little later send him another email telling him to stop driving by your house that it is creeping you out.. End this drama .... You are going to go nuts Lishy.. and then you will blame yourself..
Author Lishy Posted December 10, 2005 Author Posted December 10, 2005 Hey maybe next time he drives past I will Lassoo him up into my house and say "Stop playing games Mr and get nekkid" hahahhahah No I will bide my time - What will be will be lol
Neptune Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 Even though it is only 5 months the logic is the same. It will just be easier for him to fold the cards and move on. But, I think he is interested in you as a booty call only.
Author Lishy Posted December 10, 2005 Author Posted December 10, 2005 Even though it is only 5 months the logic is the same. It will just be easier for him to fold the cards and move on. But, I think he is interested in you as a booty call only. You could be right - THAT is why I cant call him! If he calls me then it isnt just for a booty call because he has never once booty called me, I always initiated hook ups!
Neptune Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 You were in a one sided relationship. It should never be that way. It takes two to tango. You were giving him a free ride. Now you are attempting to take it to the next level. But level one was never there in the first place. Anyone has to meet you half way and you should not let a relationship be otherwise.
Walk Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 How's it going today Lishy? Any better? I was thinking... maybe you could call him up, explain that you were giving him a chance at something better with you. That you didn't want him to feel like a booty call. Ask him over, screw the hell outta him, then send him directly home with no dinner. With a found wave, and the advice that next time he doesn't want to be treated like a booty call, then he shouldn't act like one. j/k I don't know if I'd have the self-restraint to not call him for a little sexual reprieve. But I'm kind of a horn dog.
ms_jnj Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 I think....life is too short to mess around and worry about who calls who. If you have feelings for this guy...REAL feelings, then call him. Maybe if you do and everything works out and if it is meant to be, years in your future as a happy couple you will laugh about this silly email vs. calling drama you had. And if nothing ever happens at this point, won't you always wonder if something could have happened if you had picked up the phone? Men are just...........metally impaired when it comes to knowing when to call. Seriously. Sometimes you gotta just heave a big sigh at their stupidity and do the calling yourself. Just my little "sieze the moment" advice.
Author Lishy Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 Hey guys Thank you again for all of your help and advice!!! I went out last night and met a nice guy who sat and told me how lovely I was and how sexy I am and how he would love my number so he could call me and take me out one night. He was a good looking, nice guy but he wasnt the other guy!!!!!!!!!! Needless to say he didnt get my number! I think I am going to call him tonight - I have to get this drama over with and if he doesnt want to know then maybe he will stop driving past my house and then maybe I will forget about him and leave myself open for something with someone else. Thats how I feel right now - Maybe I will call him later! I will keep you posted (although I really dont know what to say to him without sounding like a freak!)
Author Lishy Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 Update time ........... I decided that I have to speak to him. I went to call him but I know he is busy on Sunday playing footie and with his family SO I sent him a text asking him to call me. I will let you know if he does call and if he doesn't I have made a promise to myself to treat that as closure and to ignore his ass if he drives past my house again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author Lishy Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 Waaaaaaa he just replied saying that his phone is fkd and he just recieved my text that he is out having dinner and whats up Damn what do I say now? I am not talking to him through texts What is he playing at? I think this is all just an ego thing for him
Author Lishy Posted December 11, 2005 Author Posted December 11, 2005 Ok the drama is over - I didnt reply to his text and he called me We had some idle chit chat then I mentioned the mail I sent that he didnt reply to - Straight away he tells me he DID reply, he then said that he really likes me but he cant allow himself to get into a relationship and fall in love as he has alot of plans i.e going to Australia, buying property and holidays and doesnt want to get into something with me and regret not being able to do these things. He said that when we were together it was really nice and that he felt like he was taking advantage of me at times and he didnt like it as I was too nice for that. I didnt mention him driving by my house as it wasnt necessary. I told him that I thought he was a nice guy and that I wish him well. All in all it was a nice chat and now I have closure - Even though I am sitting here crying my eyes out I can now get on with things and stop obsessing over him.
Art_Critic Posted December 11, 2005 Posted December 11, 2005 Sorry you feel down Lishy.. At least you have closure..
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