Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 So guys tell me what you think about this ... I finally told my booty call guy that I have feelings for him (It was a long time coming!) I took the cowards way out and emailed it to him. I told him exactly why i have treated him like I did and that I was wrong for it. The reason I sent him this mail was because he had mailed me and sounded angry with me, like I use him (Which wasnt true) I treated him like a booty call out of fear, fear of rejection, fear of commitment (after a 14 year relationship) and fear of my feelings. I honestly never believed was capable of liking somone the way I had started to like him. So I told him!! I realised that I would prefer to embarress myself and let him know my feelings for him rather than him think I was a dirty bird who puts it about (which I have never done) I didnt expect a reply and I was right! Anyway that was a week ago and in the last few days I have seen him drive past my house 5 times (I have never seen him drive past in the 5 months I was seeing him) The first time he pretended not to see me and the last time he honked his hooter and shouted up that my lights look nice whilst smiling a big beaming smile. Now my question is this ..... He now knows exactly how I feel about him and he isnt the kind of guy who would play on that. So why ignore my mail but make a big thing out of saying hello? Before you say that he is just after sex again, I am pretty sure that he isnt that horrible to play with my emotions like that. Or maybe not - I was thinking that the reason he didnt reply was because he is scared and doesnt know what to say. But maybe he doesnt want to close the door? I wish I could get into his head and know what he is thinking. My question is this ........ If a girl freaked you out telling you how she feels and you was not interested would you go out of your way to make contact? Or would you avoid her like the plague? Is he just trying to get back in my knickers and he is letting me know he will be friendly if I call? And lastly why didnt he just reply to my mail saying 'thanks....But no-thanks'? A guys perspective on this would be great and I would really appreciate not getting sarcastic comments!!!!!!!!!
Art_Critic Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 You freaked him out and he has no idea how he feels about you.. He doesn't send the reply email for the same reason as written above. You need to call him and talk to him..Or forget about him
Author Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 Art thank you for your reply honey - Would I not 'freak' him out more by calling him? The mail I sent was obviously thought about and heartfelt .... Would I not be better off just leaving it up to him so he doesn't feel like I am putting myself on him? You are a man what would YOU prefer to happen in this situation?
Art_Critic Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 You are a man what would YOU prefer to happen in this situation? Email is so impersonal even if written personal. I would call him.. talk to him.. If the call freaks him out then you have your answer.. but I don't think it will. I would prefer either face to face or on the phone but not email to hear about someones feelings for me.
noclobber Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 lishy baby how have u been? my personal laptop is broken and is in the service center right now... that's why i have been inactive on LS of late.. but anyway, coming to ur question... i really think ur man did not see this coming and now does not know what to say to you! on a personal basis i wud love it if a woman is honest and direct with me. if i feel the same i will let her know.. if i don't i will still let her know as difficult as it may seem. u clearly told him how u feel and if he is not replying then that means its a NO. u got to respect the time u have and move on... u r wonderful woman and i'm damn sure u will find a guy that returns ur feelings..
whichwayisup Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 The thing about email is the words can jump off the page and maybe be read much more intense than it would have sounded on the phone or face to face. It leaves him to 'feel' a certain way after reading and who knows how he took it. Call him and just say I was speaking from my heart and we need to talk. No matter what you feel or don't feel, I just want your honesty. Good luck!
noclobber Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 I guess she already had a face-to-face talk with this man
Author Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 Hi guys - Thank you all for taking the time to answer me I know mailing is a cowards way out but my fear of rejection is so huge I just couldnt tell him to his face. I know i sound 'Doh' but that is where I am at right now. Although I HAD to tell him how I felt as it was driving me crazy. I sort of think that maybe he doesnt know how he feels and to reply and say he is not interested would be the end of what we had - And to say he feels the same is not a possibility as he doesnt feel the same!! I do think he is confused, if I call him surely I am just putting more pressure on him? If I stay away from him maybe he will realise (positive or negative) how he really feels about me? Plus why put myself in a position to feel a complete fool with no pride when surely his silence speaks volumes? He KNOWS how much I hate to be ignored I have told him this in the past (He has a habit of not answering when the going gets tough) If he didnt like me though would he have driven past my house so often? Would he then go out of his way to be nice and make sure I see him? Is he just playing a game with me? (he doesnt seem like the game playing type tho)
Author Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 Hey Clobsy baby I hope all is well with you darling!!!!!!!! Missed ya!!
noclobber Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 If he didnt like me though would he have driven past my house so often? Would he then go out of his way to be nice and make sure I see him? Is he just playing a game with me? (he doesnt seem like the game playing type tho) Lishy honey i am sorry to be so blunt but u got to quit putting ur hopes on this... if he is interested he is interested... if he is not then he is just not!!! u know my story right? i told my girl my feelings and she refused to date me... but still she keeps coming after me... still she is so bent on meeting me atleast once a day.. but i just don't want to mistake this as her interest... i asked her out, she said no, and that's about it. i am taking that as the final answer and moving on.. ur guy may keep coming around ur home, may act nice with u, and all that stuff.. but u have conveyed ur feelings and he needs to respond. any other thing that he does really doesn't matter!
noclobber Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Hey Clobsy baby I hope all is well with you darling!!!!!!!! Missed ya!! me too sweety! my NY trip for Thanx-giving was wonderful... had a good time there! keep us posted
Author Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 Hahhaha He just went by again and beeped up and waved!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know his game now ..... He is letting me know he is friendly and that I can call him and that he is still around ............ He will be waiting until hell freezes over for me to call him!!! I need to get some inner strength (Cos i REALLY wanna see him) and I must not call him EVER! It is down to him to respond to me now - He is a big boy he can use the phone cant he?
Walk Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 I think if he's driving past and still trying (somewhat desperately) to get your attention, then there is interest there. I'm siding with A_C on this one... I say call him. Ask him to meet up with you. If he says no, then you've got a good idea he's not interested. If he says yes, then maybe he doesn't know how to respond to your email. Or next time he does a drive by honking, you could make obscene gestures toward him. Really confuse the heck outta him. I'm sorry Lish, I'm outta my league on this one... No good ideas.
Walk Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 You could tape a sign to your house... "Real men know how to use the phone." or "I don't sleep with boys." or "A honk is not an email." I'm getting worse on my suggestions. I'm gonna stop now.
Author Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 Hahahahhahaaaaaaaaaaa Walk i am laughing here baby - You are a tonic! Next time he drives past I will throw rotton eggs at him and call him names hahahhahaha Imagine Of I did that? tooooo funny What I will do is wave and smile BUT NOT CALL HIM! I cant call him now I have to get some pride - If he liked me Walk he would have got in touch by some means he knows how I feel babe you virtually wrote the mail for me so you know how it was - I need a guy mature enough to handle an email!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 You could tape a sign to your house... "Real men know how to use the phone." or "I don't sleep with boys." or "A honk is not an email." I'm getting worse on my suggestions. I'm gonna stop now. :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!
Art_Critic Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Lishy.. Put an end to the drama.. just call him and talk to him.. This isn't an ex that you hate.. this is a guy that you have feelings for and sleep with.. Emails are not the greatest form of communication and I think you freaked him out and he just doesn't know how he feels about you or what to do.. evidently.. the way he is driving by your house.. Remember your email wa not the most mature way to tell him your feelings.. so you both are doing immature things right now.. Call him
Author Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 I sooooooooo wish I could - I cant help but think that him driving past my house is about his ego!!!! I dont think he wants me as anything but casual but he is missing the attention I gave him. He is dangling the bait and I cant take it!!! This is the guy who told me he doesnt play games!!!
noclobber Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 alrite Lishy baby... i guess i got to agree with the other posters here and say that u got to either meet him or give him a call... talk with him and get a clear answer... remember that his answer got to be a binary. either its a yes or its a no.. no grey answers... good luck honey.. hope everything goes well for you PS: walk it's great to see u here... we both got to be here for our Lishy
whichwayisup Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 SO, don't play games back. Just call him and be the mature one. Lay it all out there, you got nothing to lose. Well, you do, but as things are now I do believe he is interested. IF he isn't and he is playing a game in a not so nice way, then atleast you know what is really going on. CALL!!!!! PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL!!!! Ok, you gonna call or what? lol...
Walk Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Ha! I love the rotten egg idea!! As I recall, for me there was a huge difference in maturity between 27 and 31. Maybe it's because i went through a ton of crap during that time though. Not sure... Write "Go Away" with your Christmas lights? ha. Or better yet.. "Grow up!"
Walk Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 I don't know if calling is best for Lishy. She's having a bit of a self-esteem issue with this. If she calls and he says no way, it'll hurt even worse. As it is now, she feels as though she's the one in control. The one steering her ship, so to speak. I think if she honestly wishes to pursue a relationship with this guy, then she should call him. But I know there were some doubts about the man to start with. Unless that's changed now? Pride is a horrible thing to let get in the way of love. But you still have to know your limitations, and accept what you can and can't take in life.
noclobber Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 I don't know if calling is best for Lishy. She's having a bit of a self-esteem issue with this. If she calls and he says no way, it'll hurt even worse. As it is now, she feels as though she's the one in control. The one steering her ship, so to speak. I think if she honestly wishes to pursue a relationship with this guy, then she should call him. But I know there were some doubts about the man to start with. Unless that's changed now? Pride is a horrible thing to let get in the way of love. But you still have to know your limitations, and accept what you can and can't take in life. that's fine walk but she needs to get an answer from this person... there is a chance that she is gonna get hurt but she can't be played on by this man... i suggest that Lishy call up that guy and get this done with..
xxxmary05 Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Start as you mean to go on... Do not lower your standards and make excuses. You are confusing your feelings for your long term b/f with this newbie. He wants you to make the moves, it flatters him. His ego needs a boost. He can't be that naive. You made it blantantly obvious how you feel. Let him make an effort. Get out and socialise. You need the velvet touch of egotism to shroud your delicate and sensitive heart. XXX
Art_Critic Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 It's not about games.. it's about communication.. This isn't an EX.. it is someone that you are already in a relationship with. Lishy.. You need to open up and communicate with this guy.. just as you would with any guy that you have feelings for. Walk mentioned that your self esteem is an issue.. well what better way to increase your self esteem that to not run from a relationship situation.. If you don't hear what you want to hear from him and it hurts then there is nothing you can do about it..It's all part of love
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