almendra Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 I feel really silly. I have gotten a little tipsy a few times with a good friend/workmate of mine and it´s ended up in bed and been far too amazing with lots of tenderness and cuddling afterwards. I know that he has no problem with sex without strings attached but annoyingly I feel that without realizing i have suddenly gotten all tangled up in string and don´t know what on earth to do, particularly as I live with my boyfriend (although that is coming to a slow end). I somehow feel that I have a serious needy problem, wherby I have confused sex with deeper feelings and want to be the center of attention in this person´s life - a ridiculous concept. Unfortunately we talked on Friday and I found out that he is going away for the weekend with a group of friends and a mutual female friend/workmate(who just happens to have the most amazing body- jealous - moi??). Although she invited herself I told him that if they ended up having sex during the weekend I would feel hurt and upset with him. (I know that I am making hypocritical demands) Anyway his argument was that even if he did have sex with her his feelings towards her as a somewhat annoying friend wouldn`t change (!!!???)- therein lies the problem - i feel now like a cheap motel. thanks for listening I needed to get it out into the open all comments welcome.
westernxer Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Your life is gonna get very interesting these next few days. If you had a camcorder, you could make your own reality show.
Gold Pile Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 No stringes seldom stays that way. One partner will want more. I've entered into no stringes deals. The 1st time I just screwed...no affection. She was very hurt by this. Ever since then I "make love" with full affection. It is more fun, but does send mixed signals. You have a BF, and you're cheating on him. If you want to sleep with others, it's time to dump him...for his sake. If you want this co-worker (after dumping BF) then sleep with him some more and ask him out. It's odd to begin dating after sex, but thats what you have to work with.
Cecelius Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 I have to tell you, this looks like a situation I've lived with before... Your "workmate" is just a little peace in the storm, and he probably knows that you are needy -- you are cheating on your boyfriend after all. So, even if the workmate really wanted to like you as more than a pal he bangs, he is going to take a million committment-free years of being involved with you to (1) make sure what happened to the boyfriend doesn't happen to him (he does this by not getting emotionally involved) (2) make sure that your interest in him is not simply because stuff at home was bad or that you were bored.
whichwayisup Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Well, obviously the guy isn't "into" anything serious and can separate his feelings so he can just enjoy sex and nothing else. You really need to end it with your boyfriend...You say it's coming to an end slowly...Why so slow? Right now it isn't fair to be with someone else when you're still living together. If your boyfriend was sleeping with another woman and you found out about it -EVEN though it seems it's almost over between you two, I think you'd be hurt. Don't look at that other guy in the sense he used you. It was sex and that is all. It wasn't an act of "showing" how you feel about eachother, as in "making love." Keep that in perspective, then maybe you won't be jealous. Eitherway, some sort of decision has to be made of what and who you want.
Grinning Maniac Posted December 10, 2005 Posted December 10, 2005 You ARE a cheap motel. Where's the confusion? If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck... End it with the boyfriend already. You're using him for room and board. Show some spine.
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