BrknHrt Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 I woke up this morning feeling like my break-up was just yesterday. I don't know what happened, I didn't break NC and I haven't seen my ex is over a week. I guess I'm just confused because he's been asking my friend about a car that was at my house Saturday morning. It makes me think maybe he still cares, but if he cared he wouldn't be with this new girl that he started dating 2 days after we broke up. I mean, he's already telling her that he loves her!! I just don't understand why this is happened. I want to break NC so bad just to hear his voice but I'm trying to be strong and not do it.
slubberdegullion Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Stay strong. Maybe he cares, maybe he doesn't, but he's not controlling you any more so don't give him any power by contacting him.
Painwraith Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Dont do it. Let him wonder and let him think about it. you dont need to tell him anything and it will drive him nuts thinking about it. Be strong my friend and stop wondering why he is asking, he is probably jealous.
jacked17 Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Stay strong I broke NC the other day and it was a terrible mistake. I was doing alright with NC of 8 days but I just lost it and I called her. We went to lunch and I fell in love with her all over again. Just don't do it for your sake it's not a good idea.
In Sync Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 Stay strong I broke NC the other day and it was a terrible mistake. I was doing alright with NC of 8 days but I just lost it and I called her. We went to lunch and I fell in love with her all over again. Just don't do it for your sake it's not a good idea. Why do you say not to do it..you at least went to lunch. I haven't broken NC in over a month. And it's getting harder by the second. Really. DO you really think it could turn out badly. Why was it a terrible mistake? Maybe I'm just being paranoid to think my ex won't be recpetive..I'm just thinking out loud. Is it fear holding me back by maintining NC or self preservation.
Author BrknHrt Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 I know my ex wouldn't be receptive. He dumped me and had a new girlfriend the next day, I'd be lucky if he even answered the phone. But even though I know all of that I keep thinking if I could just talk to him maybe he would be himself again and not this stranger that he's turned into. But I am NOT calling him ya'll, don't worry. Ya'll give me strength.
jacked17 Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 It was bad because my heart just melted. I fell in love with her again. I felt a connection and there was a spark there. When I called her out on it she admitted there were feelings there but she said that those would always be there. We began talking about hanging out again but then she kept asking me what my intentions would be. I just can't handle hanging out with her while she's dating someone else. I just wanted to grab her and kiss her and hug her but some other guy gets the opportunity to do that and not me anymore and she doesn't want me to do that anymore. I absolutely had a breakdown and a huge relapse after that. I mean you can go ahead and break it. I dont know what you're situation is like. However if your ex is dating someone I wouldn't do it just because it really hurts. If they're single then maybe do it. Just seriously think long and hard and don't be spontaneous like I am.
jacked17 Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 I wish I had your Self control broken heart to want to do it and just say no. I envy your strength.
In Sync Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 I have a question you guys/gals! Is the wanting extremely to break NC = to breaking NC. Wait, if we are spending this much time thinking about what if and how it could be and etc..all the negatives taht go with NC. How is that not just as bad as actually going ahead and doing it. I mean I don't feel any better. I just feel like a zillion unanswered questions are running ranpid. I literally just five minutes ago, picked up the phone and started to dial the ex's number ..then I slammed it down. My heart is still racing from doing that! I mean WHAT am I afraid of here rejection? .Can I feel worse than I already do? It's the unknown that's killing me. Will he be a sh*t if I contact him, will I he be normal? If he were sh**y I probably would feel like an idiot, but at least I tried. I don't know how to cope today.
jacked17 Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 You can feel worse believe me. If you don't hear what you want to hear or if things are different then you will feel worse. I'm terrible at giving advice believe me but I learned the hard way. Even if you think you're ok because I thought i was, I was dead wrong. Not knowing is easier than actually knowing in my opinion.
In Sync Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 You can feel worse believe me. If you don't hear what you want to hear or if things are different then you will feel worse. I'm terrible at giving advice believe me but I learned the hard way. Even if you think you're ok because I thought i was, I was dead wrong. Not knowing is easier than actually knowing in my opinion. I value your advise and believe that your experience was not in vain, maybe it didn't turn out as you had expected, but it gave you, me and everyone here on LS a lesson. Maybe you don't see it like this, but its people who have learned the hard way that have an added layer of beauty because of experiences. My mom had a tough life, but she was the most beautiful person to me. And she was still able to hold her head with grace and dignity despite whatever obstacle came her way. If I only could be like her. I got the mushy gene from her.
jacked17 Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 I'd like to be like her too. I wish I could keep composure through this obstacle. All I got from my mom was just skeleton's in my closet that are just now starting to come out and I'm just now starting to realize. Yeah I do like to hear what people from LS say I just wish I listened to them. I always think I know better. Yeah it may feel good in the short term but in the long run it really sucks.
chocolate_boy Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 It was bad because my heart just melted. I fell in love with her again. I felt a connection and there was a spark there. When I called her out on it she admitted there were feelings there but she said that those would always be there. We began talking about hanging out again but then she kept asking me what my intentions would be. I just can't handle hanging out with her while she's dating someone else. I just wanted to grab her and kiss her and hug her but some other guy gets the opportunity to do that and not me anymore and she doesn't want me to do that anymore. I absolutely had a breakdown and a huge relapse after that. I mean you can go ahead and break it. I dont know what you're situation is like. However if your ex is dating someone I wouldn't do it just because it really hurts. If they're single then maybe do it. Just seriously think long and hard and don't be spontaneous like I am. My ex is single and we met two weeks ago, and we did hug and kiss each other all night.. she still didn't want me back though, so no, don't do it! When asked why "you're still really hot and i can't change my type, i think you're gorgeous but i don't want to be with you".. nice!
emeraldxx05 Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 then a few days/weeks it all goes to s**t again...then what? you are bored... get a distraction... i don't have it sorted myself... i'm waiting on divine intervention. what's good about the whole thing? - you are operating effectively and correctly... you are emotionally tuned. you have just been mis-directed??? is that a word. i'm cheating, using alcohol to numb the edge. good luck and good judgement. m x
Recommended Posts