mattea Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 dating = AAAAAH! i'm dating someone new - we've been out together maybe 6 times. i like him -i like the way he is with people and how much he seems to enjoy life. he's funny and friendly and positive. but i don't know how much we're connecting. sometimes we seem to have a lot more to talk about than others and we laugh a lot. but there are always awkward silences. sometimes i say things to him - my musings about life or family or just world views - and he's just quiet when i stop talking - like he can't think of any response or just can't relate? he tells me about himself and his life, but sometimes i wish he'd tell me more - otherwise i end up taking more of the air time babbling on because i don't like the awkward silences. that's not like me! i compare this with the way i am with other friends (male and female), and how easily the conversation flows with other people and how at ease i am with them and i wonder if maybe we just don't relate the way i do with other people? or maybe the awkwardness is because we are not "just friends" - there is an attraction, but everything is undefined and uncertain at this point? also, i've made attempts to give him compliments - to let him know what i like about him, but he doesn't reciprocate. he's told me he's attracted to me, not seeing anyone, and wants to "develop our relationship", but i'm not even sure what he likes about me or how he's experiencing what sometimes feels to me like a lack of "clicking" or connecting. is there a way to communicate with him about the things i am wondering, without seeming like i'm pushing us to be somewhere we are not? i'm wondering if others can tell me about how your relationships have developed? does it sometimes just start out this way - maybe due to nervousness or uncertainty or just not really knowing each other yet or having a history? have you had a relationship start out with some awkwardness and grow into an more comfortable and connected bond?
monkey00 Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 hmm well...was there great chemistry between the 2 of you from the start? as for awkward silences, if the both of you are on the same page, awkward silences can be enjoyed at the same time...dont worry about it so much! enjoy the moment. A lot oftimes guys dont like to brag about their accomplishments or whatnot, so if there comes an awkward silence, feel free to ask about his day or other stuff about him. As for me, im starting a relationship with this girl. there have been silences, but its not awkward and we enjoy them. and usually if i cant think of something to say she'll bring up a new topic, which takes off the burden of me having to lead the conversation all the time. She's told me i was the only guy she was seeing, however i did not respond to her. i will tell her this weekend. you should probably give him aresponse too, that is..if you want to be exclusive with him. to let him know you're on the same page.
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