aviva_dawn Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 I'm sure that everyone remembers what happened to me with the guy who basically cut off all contact. (The one that I wanted to marry!) He never came around, I went into shock and that became that. (Two months later, I'm still sobbing.....) I still want to get married as fast as possible but I'm not sure how to go about that.( I don't believe in "dating" as I don't think doing such a thing would work if you're only looking for a husband) There are websites for women from European and Asian countries to list themselves if they are looking for a husband. I have been searching high and low for a website geared to American women, but I'm having no luck whatsoever. Have any of you heard of any websites for American women who want to get married to advertise themselves? If you don't know of any, that's okay, but I was hoping that someone would be able to offer me some advice. Thank you in advance.
bigbrowneyes Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 Aviva, You're kidding me right? Surely you don't believe that dating in not part of the process to find a husband. Anyone can find a husband...it's finding a husband that you can live with and be happy that matters. Do you think that advertising yourself is a mentally healthy or even a safe plan. You need to date to determine if the man is worthy of marriage. Surely you don't want to risk marrying someone who is abusive or incompatible with you. The reason why you see websites such as asian or russian advertising themselves is because these women are seeking a way to come to the US...and thats by marrying a US citizen. Good luck on your mission. But honestly, I hope you reconsider your approach.
Lishy Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 You just want to get married for marrying sake? Why? I would forget about the insistance in getting married and apply some of the time you spend looking for site to get married and look for a good councellor to understand why on earth you would want to just get married without even knowing the person!
IrishCarBomb Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 Seek a therapist first. Then seek a relationship.
LifeRealistic Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 A man does not give you self worth. What is it you are looking for? You define yourself ; or risk becoming what someone is, or what someone else wants. If you are looking for a meal ticket ( i doubt but..) it is 2006, and money can not buy love- maybe a little happiness, but not the kind that matters. Dating is not wrong- sleeping around could be wrong- There is a differance. Date men looking for marriage. Maybe try match.com ?
Author aviva_dawn Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 I want to have and raise children with someone who would be a good father, but I do not want to have children out of wedlock which I believe is very wrong. That's my reason. It has nothing to do with my sense of self confidence, self worth or anything of the sort. Until not too long ago, most people married people that they didn't know.It's called an arranged marriage! This "dating" thing came about less than a century ago. I also do not like the idea that just because I won't have sex (anymore) unless I am married to the person, many of the men that I know don't like that. I'm sick of giving the "milk for free". I've gone on a couple of dates since my last relationship ended and mentioned this right off, and I never get any calls back. I also mention that I am looking to marry and that scares the men off. Men who believe in waiting for marriage (and who are virgins themselves) call me a hippocrate because I've changed my ways from being all gung ho about sex out of wedlock and they claim that they do not want someone who is "soiled". I want a lifelong companion, sex and kids. That should be pretty self-explanatory.
Lishy Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 How can you honestly expect to find someone who will be 'lifelong' when you dont even have the patience to get to know him first? And if you dont have sex with him how would you feel if on your wedding night you found him to be impotent? That happens you know!!!!!!!!! I am not surprised that men are being scared off from you - You are right telling them straight off what your aims are but Hey that would scare the hell outta me!!!! Good luck with your quest!
Author aviva_dawn Posted February 1, 2006 Author Posted February 1, 2006 The resolution for all of this..... Nearly two months later, I had agreed to marry a good friend of mine. Then he told me that he didn't love me. I told him that there would be no sex until marriage and no shacking up either. We broke up on Thursday. I'd like to actually see if any man would ever approach me. Every man that I've ever "dated", I always did the asking. Currently, I'm single and abhoring it! I'm seeing a therapist, and she thinks that my desire to get married is perfectly legit. For those who are married, how did you meet your husband? Perhaps I can use some of your tips to better help my situation. I went from wanting to be a lawyer to only wanting to be a SAHM in the space of six months......I guess that time changes ones' feelings and ambitions.
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