Jorsher Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 Here's my story: I met this girl back in June. It was my best friend's cousin. At the time I smoked weed frequently, drank a lot, popped pills, was kicked out of my parent's house, bills piling up, going from job to job. She showed her dislike towards drugs, and I quit that day. We went out for about a month and the day we broke up I started smoking pot again even though I told her I wouldn't. Well by the end of the week she was trying to get back together. I didn't want to start the relationship off with a lie so I planned on telling her that I did indeed smoke the next time I saw her. The day I was supposed to go see her, her cousin went over beforehand and she found out that I had lied about smoking. For a few weeks she didn't talk to me. I ended up buying her a nice "I'm sorry" bag of gifts and gave a card, she freaked out and started crying and calling all her friends asking what she should do. We started talking again. Started to gain my trust back. We started hanging out, everything was going smoothly. Well one day I found an ounce of pot at work, decided I'd sell it to her cousin. I tried to be honest to her about it, she got upset I even picked it up and thought about selling it. So I told her I'd throw it out. When I asked her out that weekend she said no because I hadn't changed. We continued to talk, got things worked out, and a little more than a month ago we got back together finally. She told me that she had slept with one of her friends a few days before I asked her back, which upset me but I guess I should have been glad that she was honest enough to tell me when she could have got away with it. After I asked her back out, I said I was worried about losing her again. She told me as long as I don't lie I'll be alright. Well I decided I'd start hanging out with her cousin again. He always wanted to trip on cough syrup but I was usually pretty adamant that I wouldn't. I messed up and decided to twice last week. Well, he told her about it this past Saturday. Well, Sunday I was supposed to take her out for dinner and a movie but she got really sick. I went to hang with her cousin. He talked me into doing syrup and we went and stole some from wal-mart. Well I called her that night, and hell broke lose. I didn't know what was going on and lied to her that I had been getting high because I thought for sure if I told her the truth she'd leave me, and thought if I could cover it up I'd have a better chance. Big mistake, she broke up with me a couple days ago. When I called her she said we won't get back together and I can forget it. She also told her parents what me and her cousin had done. I apologized to her dad, who I know was upset but he did say it was good I was man enough to fess up to my mistakes and apologize, and that it'd take a long time to earn her trust back. Previously her parents had great trust in me, her mom would let me visit my ex when they were gone, and they never had a problem with me taking her out. Now she says that I'm not allowed to see her unless her parents are around. At the end of the breakup call, I told her I'd wait 10 years if I had to for another chance with her and so I could prove that I am done with lying and the drugs. I asked if I would be wasting my time, and she said "I never said that." I've asked her a couple times and she's ignored the question. My questions are... How could I earn their trust back? Her and I only communicate through email now, and they are usually breif, how could I show her how sorry I am? Should I just sit back and wait for her to start talking to me again, or what should I actively do to get things going in the right direction? Why won't she answer me when I ask if I'll ever get another chance or not; does she not know yet or just doesn't want to say no? She was the greatest girl I've been with and I feel like a complete ass for messing it up and would do anything to prove to her and her parents that I can get it straight.
J dub Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 So let me get this straight: You smoked weed behind her back and lied about it she left you but came back under the assumption that you quit you didnt quit and sold it, then lied to her about it she left you but came back when you promised no more lies. you lied some more, stole syrup from a store w/ her cousin and didnt do it just once, not twice, but three times more. You want her trust back? You did an excellent job of losing it over and over, she'd be an idiot to take you back AGAIN. You dont love her like you claim to...otherwise this wouldnt have happened so many times. When you value someone you dont act like you dont take them seriously. I dont blame her for a second for what shes done.
Author Jorsher Posted December 8, 2005 Author Posted December 8, 2005 We broke up. I smoked weed and lied. I quit on my own and decided to tell her before I got back with her, but cousin told her first. Haven't smoked since then. We got back together and I said I wouldn't lie again. I stole syrup twice, only did it twice, the third time I decided not to. I don't blame her for what she did either. I deserved it. Now what can I do to redeem myself?
JaneInVegas Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 one day I found an ounce of pot at work, decided I'd sell it to her cousin. Found?? You can't be serious, dude. I think this is part of your problem, you've been having denial issues. Your only hope of redemption is to stay 100% clean, and see how long it takes to win back her trust. Personally, I would never take someone back after so many betrayals, but ... that's me. Some people are capable of making major changes in their life, and I certainly hope you're one of them. Good luck dude, and I'd stay away from that cough syrup chuggin' friend of yours, it's just not worth it.
Author Jorsher Posted December 9, 2005 Author Posted December 9, 2005 I don't have any denial issues. I f'd up bad and never have denied it. I know it's hard to believe, I really did find an ounce of weed on the ground though. I was working at a gas station at the time, a customer came in and said a big bag of marijuana was laying outside, I went and grabbed it. It's the only time I've ever sold any drug to anyone. And yeah I told the syrup chugging friend today that I'm no longer hanging out with him. Thanks for the responses though...
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