SMHappyface Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 As you all know, my ex-fiance and I broke up a few months ago, and it has been terrible. Immediately I sought the comfort and solace of my friends and family and have a great support team. I hardly think of my ex now - except for a thought random here and there, but nothing like the first few weeks. Anyways, since the break-up I have met two amazing guys who appear (from the surface) to be a million times better than my sleezy cheating fiance. Both of them I talk to extensively on e-mail and on the phone, specifically M who we'll talk for 3-4 hours at a time. Both are successful, gorgeous guys who seem to really like me. Anyways, here's the question - HOW do you know you are ready for a new relationship? I mean, if it's too soon, you're rebounding, how fast is too fast? One of the guys lives in my hometown and the other a few hours away, but I don't see them THAT much. I'm not technically dating either of them, but this little part of me is scared to do anything with another guy because I feel guilty (which I shouldn't because I'm totally single). Kinda sick, eh? I haven't been on the market since I was a teenager, I know long-term relationships can really wreak havoc on your social life. It's wierd. Anyways, thoughts would be appreciated.
CaliGuy Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 I've heard you need 1 week for every month you dated. In your case, with a fiance, you'll probably need 3-6 months to get over them. But, here's the thing. You don't need to 'date' right now. Just hang out, be friends first with both of them and see where it goes. Sooner or later you'll choose one of them and you'll find yourself open to being loved again. Good luck.
Tangerina Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 Once you are over your ex I think you are in safe territory... I met my current BF while I was still getting over my ex (who dumped me)... I got with him not to get back at my ex or for solace or anything but because I genuinely liked him, but it still wasn't probably the best situation to get into... though now I am over my ex for real and I am still with the guy and I am super super happy with him so it all worked out for the best so I have no regrets about what happened, but speaking more abstractly it really isn't a good idea to do anything until you have moved on... I got over EX a lot faster than I thought I would considering how painful it was at the beginning, b/c once the bubble burst I came out of my dream world and realized how bad he was for me and it didn't take much from there, maybe 3 months to be really ok with it... only you will know when you are ready and don't worry about what others think... Haha, as I said, I got with my new boy way too soon and caused both of us some grief, but luckily hardly anyone gave me trouble about dating so soon because no one liked my EX so they were happy I was seeing someone else...
Author SMHappyface Posted December 8, 2005 Author Posted December 8, 2005 Oh I'm not expecting to get serious with either of them - I am not even wanting a serious relationship. It's wierd, but since I'm single for the first time in almost 5 years, I WANT to play the field. I want to see what's out there - make up for lost time, lol. But at the same time I really appreciate these guys taking the time to talk to me - I mean, how great is it to have a 3 hour conversation with a guy about deep stuff when your ex had a hard time carrying on a 5 minute convo!? Its a breath of fresh air. Oh well, I will be skiing with one of the guys end of January and the one that is closer I will probably see around. I'm enjoying seeing what happens. I guess the only concern I had was that I shouldn't feel guilty for enjoying it just because I've only been single 2 months?
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