happy2bhere Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 So here is my situation. I was in a long distance relationship up until recently. Not so long ago the person decided to break up with me. This person is quite impulsive and ends up regretting what they do. So not long after I got a phone call and was told that they wanted me back. I don't know what to do. I care a lot about the person, but at the same time I am really hurt. I told them that if I go back into the relationship things have to change. We were having issue of trust, and other issue that seem to be more clear to me, but less clear to the other person. Now I am supposed to figure out what I want, but I am having a really hard time. I feel so lost. I can't figure out what I want. Any advice? Anybody go through something similar?
idolgal311 Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 well, i was in a one year ldr, and he broke up with me. when i took him back, he ended it again 3 months later. People like that, (about 90%) of the time will do it again. that is just my opinion, but, i wouldnt take him back.
RecordProducer Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 Do you care to share some more details? You don't have to, but it's hard to reply in a constructive way if we know nothing about the case. You may want to tell us for how long you've been in a long-distance relationship, why she kept breaking, what issues you had, etc. If she is in love with you - you may give her one more chance. But if she is just playing with you then she will keep doing it as long as she can. Have you been seeing each other often? What's long distance, 200 or 2,000 miles?
Author happy2bhere Posted December 8, 2005 Author Posted December 8, 2005 I have no problem sharing more details. This is a new relationship. We've only been together for a little over two months. Things moved really fast. There is a lot of distance between us, and I only get to see them when I fly there, or they come here. The reason we ended up breaking up were trust issues. In the beginning I didn't have them, but then after a while I started to. The person I am with happens somewhat famous in what they do. Most people who have no clue, but people who are into what this person does know who they are. This means there are groupies and people trying to get close to them based on their skill. I thought it wouldn't bother me, but it does. They have told me that there is nothing to worry about, and they only want to be with me, but it still makes me feel insecure. I do think that they want to get back together with me, and they are not playing games. However, I find it hard to so quickly forget that they just hurt me a lot. I am in the mode right now where I am really trying to look out for myself, so to all of the sudden be told by the person that I was distancing myself from that they want me back is hard. On the other hand, I do really care for them. I feel so stuck. I want to, but I don't. Who said love was easy?
RecordProducer Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 Love SHOULD be easy, at least at the beginning. If you can't accept his way of life then don't even try. Besides, guys who have many girls chasing them due to their careers are probably difficult to handle. In any case, IMHO, the best you can do is play hard to get and perhaps stay friends. Let's see if he keeps chasing you for a while or forgets about you as soon as a "new talent" comes into his bed!
JayKay Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 Don't accept flaky behavior.....ESPECIALLY early on in the relationship. If this guy is impulsive and quick to change his mind, you need to send a strong message home that 'Look, if you say you want A.....don't think you can decide you want B a few days later...' This is what you have to do with children. They have to learn that their decisions and actions have consequences. They have to learn that their behavior affects other people. Impulse control is a sign of maturity and an understanding of this. If your SO wants to get back together, tell him you need time to think it over. Explain that you were very hurt and shocked by the break up. For a relationship to work, you need a certain degree of trust and stability. REALLY take some time for himself. Let him sweat it out for a while. If you go back too easily, he will pull the same bologna on you again....trust me.
Recommended Posts