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Posted

My boyfriend doesnt like for me to get too close, but he doesnt want me to get too far away. Whenever he says he wants space, I respect that, suppress my emotions, and quickly move on. He soon comes back and says how much he misses me, and how he dreams about me, and cant stop thinking about me. He said I make him happy and feel stable, and the sex is great too.

 

A few days ago, he asked me if I wanted a relationship and I said "no, I just want to hang out and have fun". He then said he cant love anymore because hes been hurt too much. He said he tries to push me away and make me hate him, and I would probably just leave him anyway.

 

He was supposed to call me recently, and never did. I left him a disappointing voicemail message. He then wrote a letter saying I should give up on him, because hes hurt too many people. I did that, but he still has me on his buddy lists and stays on the websites Im on to see what Im doing.

 

Is he afraid of committing to me because hes afraid Ill leave or is he just mentally unstable from being hurt so much in the past??

Posted

I have been going throught he same thing with my bf, although not as major as what is going on with you two...we dated a year, he moved in after 6 months and then he wanted to live alone and be single...not date anyone, just be alone to figure out his issues...well a month and a half went by and he still wanted to be single and alone so I decided to move on...he found out I had a date planned and then he freaked out...he wanted to be my bf again, he said he was stupid for moving out and he regretted it. I took him back, although I won't let him move back in...not for a long time. My kids got so attached to him and they were hurt when he moved out...I won't let that happen again...he will have to live on his own for a long time and be able to show me commitment before he comes back into my kids' lives...

 

I think sometimes guys get very nervous when it comes to commitment, they seem to want you yet they get scared that you will leave...then when you have finally started to move on they are afraid someone else will take you away from them...men are odd creatures....

 

I think that if you want a relationship with this guy then you need to tell him that, if he doesn't then you need to move on and find what you want in life...I don't think doing the back and forth game will get you anywhere in life, it is just a waste of time...I layed down the law with him...I won't let him move in but we can date...be bf and gf again...you need to do the same...you need to tell him to figure out what he wants in life...you need to figure out what you want and go for it, don't settle...

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Posted

So after noticing him watch me online for like a week, I call him. He gets an attitude saying i havent called him in weeks. He then says "I noticed you changed your personals profile online", and eventually cuts the conversation short with some lame excuse. Is he jealous or something??? I leave him a message apologizing and saying I hope hes not mad at me, but I was just giving him space like he wanted. He hasnt called back.

Posted

Move on. Sounds like miles of bad road ahead on this one. Detour! Find someone who doesn't play all these games.

Posted

I agree with Becoming, I think you should try to move on. He sounds like my ex that I dated a year ago. He would tell me he wanted his space and when I would give it to him he either he would get angry and accuse me of "cheating" on him or he would come back and tell me how much he missed me and how he was ready to be serious. His kindness only lasted for a few weeks though, and then he would be back to the whole "i need space" routine. Stupid me put up with it for a whole year and my ego/self-esteem has suffered because of it

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