should I continue to persue this girl who's busy and stressed?

[Free At Last]

I've been trying to go out with this girl for a few weeks now. I really like her, and have reason to think that she likes me somewhat as well. I've been busy, she's been busy, and now I'm questioning if she is just too nice to say no to me. Here's whats happened so far:

 

1st phone call: she said yes, would go for dinner, but call back next week

2nd phone call: she was busy studying at library, asked to call later

3rd phone call: she didn't pick up

Voice message: she said 'sorry i've been hard to reach, its not that im not interested... call me'

 

Her phone got disconnected after that, so I emailed. She wrote back saying basically:

 

- she's sorry again

- she's been stressed over school and wouldn't be good company right now

- after december 12 she'll be free

- after december 19 she'll be on call for work, and stressed again

 

Am I being too sensitive here? I totally understand she's busy as a person can be.... I am too mostly. Should I just give it another week and ask again, or pack it in and look elsewhere?

[Rickymoemoe]

I don't have an answer for you but I'd sure like to see some other people with some answers I'm in the same boat. I just wish she wouldn't work so hard.

[westernxer]

She's not into you, not enough to unbusy herself.

[clynn]

I would just let it go.

 

It could be that she is interested but insanely busy. HOWEVER - if this is the case . . . then she will call you if she is interested and available.

 

ALSO - whenever I've done this with a guy it is because I'm not interested. I might not come out and say it because he may be nice enough and maybe even attractive, but for some reason I am not feeling compelled to go out with him. I may not feel compelled to put him on the top of my priority list.

 

This can also be a life phase. There have been times in my life when I've had varying levels of interest for people because of my busy schedule. Then, when I slow down...or start to get serious about being in a relationship - I've realized that I missed out on something worthwhile.

 

When I have been busy and really really liked a guy - I have found time to be with him. It sometimes is difficult, but I do.

 

So, in this case, I would let it go. She is causing you way too much work.

[monkey00]

From the sounds of it, she's using you to boost her ego. I believe girls can be busy in life too. But i dont believe that someone can be so busy that they cant even spare 30 minutes of their time to go out for coffee or call you and talk to you.

 

Pull away from this one for a week or more. When you stop contacting you, and IF she is actually interested in you, she will call you (thats if she has your #). Regardless if she doesnt contact you back, you should move on..this is a lost cause.

 

But of course this is finals/papers/projects due time of the month. The best thing to do when a girl is stressed is to give them space. They will contact you when they're ready.

[Free At Last]

Awesome... thank u all three... i have written back just saying i hope the end of semester goes well. if i hear from her again, then cool.. if not, i get it

[Rebellious]

Girls lie all the time, "busy and stressed" means that she's not interested in you but wants to string you along. It's just a mind game.

[morrigan]

She's not worth the trouble of contacting again. There are other girls who will be much less 'busy' and much more interested.

 

If she ever wants to make plans with you, she knows your phone number and email.

[gfto]

She's not interested in you. Flush her number and move on. The first time you called her and asked her out for dinner, she gave you the "definite maybe," which means she isn't interested. In general, if you get the feeling that she's playing hard to get, then she just isn't into you. When they like you, they make it easy for you.

[country gal]

Well friend I'm going to say that she probably 'kind of' interested but not enough to make time for you.... in other words, dont waste your time. Look, I'm really busy too - I work full time, go to graduate school part time, I ply in a recreational sports league, and I am a Big Sister with Big Brothers Big Sisters ....yet I make time for a man if I'm interested enough. It aint easy but I definately do it. Move on.

[sometips]

The woman I am dating was like that too. We had the hardest time scheduling our first date. She is a student and has two jobs. She also has a busy social life with friends. Our second date was even postponed because of some engagement she had to attend. I didn't appreciate that then but then I remembered how clingy people with no lives can be. I like that she's busy and has her own life. We now see each other each weekend but I don't throw a fit when it's finals time and there is not time for me. She's worth the wait and the trouble because she's a worth while person. We spend quality time and that is what counts.

 

Your woman at some point should show some interest in actually getting together. When she kept putting me off for our first date, I said, let's just get together and just do whatever, instead of trying to find the perfect time to do something. It worked out. When she postponed our second date, she also gave me a definite day to reschedule. It proved to me she did actually want to get together. Force her to schedule you in, if she's actually intersted. Even if that day is a couple of weeks into the future.