P1xie Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 Help please don't know what to do. My boyfriend is remodeling the whole house. As of today I have a blanket for the bathroom door. No doors in any bedroom. No sheet rock in any bedroom or ceilings. So every sound carries. He laid himself off work so he could work on the place and now he's getting low on funds. His friend is having girl problems and said he would give him $500.00 a month to live with us. First off I don't think he shouldn't of even asked to move in when two people are living together. This isn't "Three's Company", more like "Three's a crowd". I told him I didn't want him to move in because of the above situation and no privacy. He really wants the extra money. I also want to add if you can afford $500.00 you could get an apartment. This guy is not on the streets or anything either. Am I being selfish here? BTW my boyfriend can go back to work anytime so it's not like money is not available. Thanks.
alturrnababe Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 hey P1xie, You responded to mine so I'll help with yours! So no you are NOT being selfish...you and your boyfriend are supposed to be a couple!!! My wonderful always-out-husband had that bright idea once about 3 years ago...let me tell you...doesn't work! This guy ended up moving in...but we basically inherited all of his loser friends too....girls over all the time, lous music...was awful.Put your foot down...tell your b/f NO WAY!!!
Kenyth Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 No. You could do it as a temporary favor to a family member who's in a bind, but that's as far as I'd go. You need your own space right now.
morrigan Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 If you're paying part of the housing and other bills, you definitely have a say in this. Ask your boyfriend if he really wants to hear everything his friend does and put up with his bad habits 24/7. Also, evicting someone who decides not to move out when you expect them to can be a drawn out hassle.
Author P1xie Posted December 7, 2005 Author Posted December 7, 2005 I don't pay for the mortage but I do pay for groceries, phone, tv, auto insurance. When I said something about privacy he just went hmpf. Then he said with the $500. he could put up walls and doors. He also promised me a bedroom door when he tore down our first bedroom before he had his son for the weekend. That was a month ago and it never happened. He doesn't care about privacy as much as I do. He will answer the door in his underware and stuff. I did tell him if he needed the money that bad I could stay with my mom for a while. Not in a mean way either. I was being sincere and would not leave him for this. If I could I would give him the extra money but I can't afford to. He said no he didn't want that and we would discuss it later. I just don't want to live with some stranger guy and like others have said who knows what kind of people he would bring around.
whichwayisup Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 I think both of you need to sit and discuss it. Instead of saying NO right off the bat, give your boyfriend a chance to talk to this guy, find out FOR SURE how long it will be he'll be staying with you. IF then, you and your boyfriend decide TOGETHER to allow him to stay - There will be rules and one rule should be he can't just bring various people in and out of the house. Basically it's a place to hang your hat. Not a place to hangout and entertain buddies. The guy can go to other friends' places for that. Another thing, this guy could help your husband with the work around the house. (Just looking at it from a positive angle and maybe compromise and say 2 weeks, not a month) Just to say NO right off the bat without really talking about it isn't fair to you or to your boyfriend. Reno's are stressful and having an extra person in the house when everything is a mess is unsettling. So, that is something your bf has to consider too. Not just his needs and what $$ can help.
RecordProducer Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 I think all you need to do is nag about it (better use some good arguments) until he says: "Okay, okay.." He should say okay because he will realize that you are right. Don't repeat the same arguments 76 times cuz every time you say them again they lose a part of their sense. So don't say many times "Three is a crowd" but list a number of things that you won't be able to do freely because of this guy (have sex, take a shower, walk around naked, talk freely, argue... I actually don't understand what the guy will do in an empty apartment, do you actually have a spare furnished room for him? In any case, I would try to persuade him in a nice way. But if he remains at his initial decision there is not much you can do but accept it or move out. Don't let this situation ruin your relationship; it's just temporary anyway. Sometimes we need to agree even when we disagree for the sake of love!
tanbark813 Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 So your bf pays the mortgage (meaning it's his house), is taking time off work to remodel the house that you two share, and wants to help a friend in need who is willing to help him make ends meet. Yeah, I'd say you're being selfish. It would be different if you both contributed to the mortgage payment, but that's not the case. Your bf sounds like a pretty generous guy actually. On a sidenote, where do you guys live? I know that around here there's no way $500 will get you an apartment. Maybe a run-down studio in a bad neighborhood. Maybe.
Author P1xie Posted December 7, 2005 Author Posted December 7, 2005 I actually don't understand what the guy will do in an empty apartment, do you actually have a spare furnished room for him? No we have no furnished room for him. Our room is not even complete or his son's when he comes for the weekends. We do have some plywood up though
Author P1xie Posted December 7, 2005 Author Posted December 7, 2005 So your bf pays the mortgage (meaning it's his house), is taking time off work to remodel the house that you two share, and wants to help a friend in need who is willing to help him make ends meet. Yeah, I'd say you're being selfish. It would be different if you both contributed to the mortgage payment, but that's not the case. Your bf sounds like a pretty generous guy actually. On a sidenote, where do you guys live? I know that around here there's no way $500 will get you an apartment. Maybe a run-down studio in a bad neighborhood. Maybe. You can get a real nice 2 bedroom apt around here for 400-500 a month. Studios run about 350. My thing is I really don't like the ideal of no privacy. You can hear everything from every room right now because there is no ceilings or insulation. I have no doors or complete walls in the bathroom or my own bedroom. I don't have to worry about walking around naked without insulation it's kinda cold right now.
jatana Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 dont let him move in ,speaking from experience
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