itwontdawnsooner Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 how do you, without sounds like a jerk, say to your SO "dont feel like seeing you today/tonight" without it sounding bad. you dont mean the "lets take space" thing, just, want time to yourself. whenever i say it, or whatever words i use like "i think im going to be by myself" always, to me even, sounds crappy (i imagine it from her perspective sounds like "hey, sorry, dont want to see you!") there really is nothing to worry about from my perspective (doesnt change how i feel) but i cant seem to say it without sounding strange any methods, ideas... are white lies ok if you want to spare feelings? (busy with x, busy going to x) these are sort of dumb questions, but my friends all have different approahces to this. whats yours?
almostthere Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 Well...when I need a little alone time I just say that I am tired and I would like to stay in and catch up on some rest. I have used excuses before but that was more to people I really didnt care for that much. I dont have a sitter, I am not feeling well, my mom wants to have a heart to heart, my friend is upset and needs to talk. I am not saying you should lie I am just saying there is so much you can say other then I'd rather be alone. I use the first one mostly....I am tired and I would like to stay in. It's honest and sometimes I just dont feel like going out.
pandnh4 Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 well, i'd like to attempt to answer your question by asking one myself... my question is, if you really love somebody, don't you want to see them whenever possible... i mean, even if it isn't doing anything special, like just laying around in front of the tv or cuddling... i'll admit, what i propose is more likely the types of thing that are involved when the relationship is serious... my gf and i, for example, sometimes enjoy doing our own things even when we are still together... then we take occasional breaks to cuddle, etc... on the other hand, if it truely is time alone that you would like, i would probably recommend saying that you're tired... even if it isn't quite true, i would certainly appreciate the excuse that is most close to the actual truth, if not a straight answer altogether...
bab Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 I wouldn't recommend lieing. What happens when your s/o catches you in a lie? Then they are think you are hiding something. Maybe talk about it on a night that you don't want to be alone. Whe you are hanging out, ask your SO if there are times when they just want an evening by themself. Then explain to them that you do need alone time occassionally, and all it means is that you occassionally enjoy your solitude, nothing more, nothing less. Then wait for at least a week before calling such a alone time evening. Don't get in the habit of making excuses for legitimate behavior, this only causes distrust. Besides, in the long run you want someone who understands you and your needs. Don't start a relationship by hiding them!
Recommended Posts