wv_kieren Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 Hello everyone, I'm new, so this is my first post. It's kind of an odd story and I'm not sure I completely understand it myself, but here goes... I just got out of a bad relationship a couple months ago and about 2 weeks ago I decided to try online dating. So I signed up to cupid personals site and after a few days I got an amazing email from this guy. He seemed really great and flawless, except that he was married. He told me that first thing, but they have been having problems for about 8 months and he just told her recently that he didnt want them to be together anymore. Since the first email, we have went to lunch twice, and we went Christmas shopping together. When we went shopping he bought a gift card for his wife, that was Saturday, and tonight he is moving back in with his parents. He's already told his wife he's with someone else and he's invited me to his work Christmas party. I really don't know that I want to go or not and I definitely don't want everyone to think it's my fault they aren't together anymore, because I really didn't do anything, it was already dont before I came into the picture.
brave13 Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Coming from a woman dating a MM going through a divorce i say GET THE HELL OUT!! lol well i mean i love my boyfriend its just soo much heartache involved and if you arent in love i say get out while you can. Expecially if he hasnt even started a divorce..you could fall in love and he could just be going through a phase with her.. or on the other side he could be telling the truth ..but when has any man told the whole truth about a situation like that..if i was beting i would say he didnt tell his wife about you. He is being a selfish person right now, but atleast he was upfront about it..In my opinion he just wants a fling..so dont get attached
JayKay Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Yikes. If it feels wrong, trust your gut. My gut has never failed me. Tell him you would love to see him again when the divorce is finalized.
EMJ Posted December 31, 2005 Posted December 31, 2005 Looks like he's trying to prove something "When we went shopping he bought a gift card for his wife, that was Saturday, and tonight he is moving back in with his parents." Something about those two statements does not sound right? and this: "He's already told his wife he's with someone else and he's invited me to his work Christmas party" That's right, got to show everyone how studly he is and how quickly he can rebound---he's Hot Stuff, da' man, high-five him! You seem to be a convienent prop in his "see how much and how fast I'm over my wife" story that he's working hard to convince everyone is real, including his wife. And then he buys her a gift card, while WITH you. ok, now he's making it obvious: 1) He's not over her and does not care AT ALL that he is using you to try really hard to prove the opposite. 2) He really does not care what people think of you, in his mind you are temporary, until he gets her back. If they think you are a slut "Oh, Well, maybe that will make my wife MORE jealous" oh, yeah, he's loving this game. 3) RUN! He's started this relationship on a really disrespectful level and it's hard, if not impossible, to change that dynamic once it's set. Tell him to go work his stuff out on his own. It's just rude to you otherwise. You don't need this kind of crap and it's the only way it will get resolved. This should NOT be the best day of your life, unless you are very young. I'm hoping you are because you can still learn the fastest and grow. The best day will be when you are in a completely supportive and loving realtionship. You have to earn respect by not taking disrespect from him. Good luck.
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