JoL Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 Okay, so an update on my crazy guy from work situation.. ( here's the link to the full story.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t76110/) I get an email off him today....accusing me of practically harassing him! He emails me in a very professional manner, saying that he insists i stop talking about him to work colleagues as he feels that i am spreading malicious gossip about him that is offensive and untrue...and that he wont hesitate to take it further if i dont stop !??!?!?! What the F##K??? I stand by every single thing i have said about him to anyone in the workplace- that he is childish, that i refuse to communicate with him when he is doing the silent treatment behaviour, and that i believe he was an embarrassment with his behaviour at the xmas party. I have never ever spread rumours about him or attacked him in any way- i have merely expressed my own frustrations about him. What about this is harassment?! I feel like he is pulling out all the stops to get me to engage in a conversation with him- silent treatment, attempts at making me jealous, throwing gifts back in my face and now his newest one..accusations of harassment?!?! I havent replied to his email, and i wont be....if he was feeling "harassed" surely it wouldnt have taken him 3 weeks to feel this way?? He is pulling out all the tactics in the book...why the hell is he doing this to me, cant he just let it go and move on like i have?? The thing is, i know from past experiences with him, he talks soooooooooo tough in emails when we had fights, but face to face he backs down and has NO substance to his defence...he is so much milder face to face, and hides behind emails. I have asked a couple of friends for advice and they have both said that it seems like he just cant let it go...he wants to talk to you and start an argument and conversation or something but doesnt know how... Im still trying to get my head around this all... why is he doing this?!?!
Outcast Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 I stand by every single thing i have said about him to anyone in the workplace- that he is childish, that i refuse to communicate with him when he is doing the silent treatment behaviour, and that i believe he was an embarrassment with his behaviour at the xmas party You should have said none of these things to anyone at work. It was highly unprofessional. Just because you think something doesn't give you the right to say it, particularly about one colleague to other colleagues.
Author JoL Posted December 6, 2005 Author Posted December 6, 2005 When people are b#tching about him and his behaviour and ask my opinion- i will give it- i have not been bitchy, not been unprofessional. I have simply said things are not good between us and i dont wish to talk to him. I have never attacked his character or him as a person. He has embarassed me pretty badly, and everyone knows this...but never have i gone out of my way to badmouth him in any way. I know he has said the same things about me, but i dont care to engage in a fight with him about it. I know he is angry and blowing off steam...i certainly dont consider it harrassment! I have been diplomatic as much as possible, i think him sending me emails instead of confronting me about the situation is crazy..but that's just my opinion.
Outcast Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 When people are b#tching about him and his behaviour and ask my opinion- i will give it- The better move is to just clam up.
lindya Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 I stand by every single thing i have said about him to anyone in the workplace- that he is childish, that i refuse to communicate with him when he is doing the silent treatment behaviour, and that i believe he was an embarrassment with his behaviour at the xmas party. I have never ever spread rumours about him or attacked him in any way- i have merely expressed my own frustrations about him. So wait a minute....you used to be involved with this guy? In that case, expressing your frustrations about his behaviour is almost bound to be construed, by your colleagues, as leftover resentment about a romantic relationship gone wrong. It will serve as a warning to all of them - Don't get involved with people at work. Do you really want to be that "warning" to other colleagues? If I were you, I'd really want people to forget about my history with this guy. I'd avoid reminding everyone of it via these complaints about his behaviour. Venting your thoughts about him in the workplace (whatever the provocation) is likely to be viewed as unprofessional - if not by your peers, certainly by your superiors who will no doubt get to hear about it through the grapevine.
gfto Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 I went back and read the background on this. You say that you "mutually" decided to just be friends. Are you sure it was mutual? Personally, I don't think there's such a thing as a "mutual" break-up. There has to be a dumper and a dumpee. I have a gut feeling that this decision to just be friends was your decision. After all, when he tried to kiss you, you essentially pushed him away and reiterated your understanding that the two of you are just friends. If he is the dumpee, then I can't blame him for essentially cutting off contact and moving on.
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