i sometimes feel my wife is cheating on me...

[killerbee99]

cause she has reduced the amount of kissing and touching, I would get from her, on a daily basis. We are going on 7 years of a relationship. We have never had a break-up, just some arguments. She will alway return the i love yous, and some times, she will even say it first. However, our sex has been maybe once a month for 2 years now, with a small increase here and there.

 

The last three months have been really bad, with how she treats me. She seems more on edge, and shows very little patience with me, as if she didn't love me. We used to be very mad in love, so called soul-mates, we have a 3 year old, who we both love very much.

 

I want to give you more details, so I can get more input. I've suspected her of sleeping around, because at the age of 30, she should be somewhat sexual, yet she claims it feels as if it just turned off.

 

We still talk about our future, and plans of having more kids. But sometimes she will just make the smallest thing around the house, a big deal, and that makes me wonder why she is going that approach.

 

She doesn't have late meetings often, I check up at work, and she answers the phone, so only place she could have found time, would have been during lunch time, or on business trips.

 

 

I've confronted her with some funny looking cell phone numbers, and she claimed it was either work, or wrong numbers calling her phone. She freaked out, and asked if I was cheating on her. She even swore on our children that she was not cheating, and said she loves me very much.

 

Would a woman lie like that to someone?

 

Would she plan on having more kids with her husband, if she had an affair in the past?

 

please let me know, if anything like this ever happen to you.

 

i barely get a kiss on the lips, in the morning, or when she gets home.

 

Usually, if I don't start sex, and touch her, or kiss her, I could probably go a week, and she won't do anything.

 

Will a woman stress with work, actually act like that....can someone love another person very much, not cheat on them, but not show the love, as before. She just seems very dry lately.

 

 

Ok thank you and good luck

[Spiral_Stairs]

Unless you have some pretty hard evidence that she is cheating on you, she most likely isn't. If you are looking for things, like phone numbers, notes, whatever, chances are that anything you find will look suspicious. I've suspected my wife of cheating on me before and I actually did a #69 on the phone after I had been out for a few hours. I wrote down the number, checked her phone book and couldn't find a match. So then I went to a white-pages look-up site on the Internet and found that it was the number to a girl she works with (pretty pathetic). That's why I say find some hard evidence before you suspect anything.

 

And just because the sex has decreased, that is very common in most long-term relationships - it's just a thing you'll have to accept (so I've been told). The best thing to do is just allow it to happen, if you start playing it cool chances are that she'll make the first move. The more you ask for, the less their going to get. Most women like to make the first move - it may take a while, but it's worth the wait.

 

 

I know how you feel - good luck.

[JadeStar]

Well hard to say for sure what may or may not be going on. However, it amazes me how so many people think that because their spouse/partner stops a certain thing or slacks off that the other one is cheating. Sure it can a be a sign but theres usually others as well. Or so I would think. When someone stops doing something or even slacks off, then yeah there may be a problem but it doesn't always mean cheating.

 

Speaking from experience in my situation. I recall a time in my life a few years back when my hubby thought the same of me. I slacked off in the bedroom department, wasn't quite as affectionate as I once was etc etc. He thought or assummed I was cheating. I wasn't. When we sat down and had a heart to heart over the matter, he learned that I pulled away from him in certain areas because he had pulled away first. He stopped meeting my needs emotionally, being there for me, helping out, etc, so I withdrew from the sex department. No it didn't completley stop, but yes it slacked off. Was it right of me to do that? No but it happens.

 

The best thing to do is to talk with her. Communicate with her what your concern is. Do you feel you're doing everything in the relationship that needs to be done? If not or you feel you're not putting forth your best effort then maybe thats why you feel the way you do. Maybe you feel that if you're not doing all you can someone else will. Perhaps get into some marriage counseling. She needs to know how you feel on the matter, just as you need to know what may or may not be going on with her. Please understand I'm not saying shes cheating or not, no one knows for sure right now but her. Talk with her.

 

 

 

Jade

[Ladyjane14]

Sounds like fairly common behavior for working mothers in their third decade of life. I doubt she's cheating.

[TMCM]

If you want true intimacy [the sharing of ones deepest thoughts and feelings] with your W, then you must do your part to create a marital environment where she will feel safe to open up to you without fearing the consequences for doing so. But be warned, you must also be strong enough to hear some things that may not be to your liking [like the possibility that she may indeed be involved with another man] without losing your mind.

 

Women do not automatically start affairs with men they work with until there is a strong emotional bond between them. If there is a male co-worker she confides in, getting angry at her will only push her further towards him. Your goal is to become her #1 confidant so that she enjoys coming home instead of dreading it.

 

TMCM

 

P.S. As far as the sex goes, please do not make any of your expressions of affection towards her a prelude to sex. My W, and other women I know, have stated their disdain very clearly when we men do this to them.

[lilmoma1973]

 

I wouldn't assume she is cheating because things have changed with the affection.. Could be you aren't giving her what she wants emotionally and then turn she isn't want to be sexual with you cause it leads to the bedroom and she may want itimacy outside the bedroom as well as in the bedroom!! There is more to aa relationship besides sex!!

[killerbee999]

My post didn't say, she stops having sex, so I'm mad about it, and I think she is cheating.

 

 

 

My post pointed out several things, and sex and affection being two of them, which happen to be the main problems, but not only.

 

What is love between a man and woman, woman and woman, and man with a man, if they are gay, if sex and affection aren't part of it.

 

The love for a partner, involves affection very much. I'm not saying every 5 mins, people grow out of it, but what about several times a day.

 

What is wrong with a person showing they love you, with a kiss, when you walk by them, in the hallway, or better yet, you're watching TV, and your partner walks by, and gives you a big kiss on the neck.

 

That is love, and that is what we had the first few years of our relationship, and I want it back.

 

Do you folks not find it indifferent, to go 20 years with very little affection and sex, along with I love you, only when you say it.

 

I can't have that kind of relationship. I can't love something, and not have it love me back. Heck, I rather be alone, cause i miss all the kissing, hugging, and touching in between our intricate debates about any subject matter, folowed with joking conversations. Hence, that is why I fell in love with this person.

 

Cause we connected...it was a natural feeling.