dontwanttoloosehim Posted December 5, 2005 Posted December 5, 2005 Apparently this Whole Mess - of my husband not wanting to be with me is because a trust issue wheer he thought I might leave him for someone else based on a couple of phone calls and text messages. I changed my number gave him all my passwords but that has not chnaged his mind. I love him to death and would never everrrr leave him for anyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:love: Any advice on how to make him trust me again??? Or is it too late?
Zetter Posted December 5, 2005 Posted December 5, 2005 I dunno. I think it largely depends on the person in question, and what exactly the texts read. I'm very trusting by nature, so i could get over it very easily, most likely. My ex lost total trust in me for every aspect of our relationship after I withheld some simple truths that i knew would hurt her. i was never able to regain her trust after 2 years no matter what i did. I'd love to know how as well.
slubberdegullion Posted December 5, 2005 Posted December 5, 2005 Any advice on how to make him trust me again??? Or is it too late? Re-establishing damaged trust is like trying to get toothpaste back in the tube. All the words in the world, all the emotions, all the tenderness and care and suffering, aren't cutting it right now because the issue is within him. He has to be completely sure, beyond even a sliver of doubt, that you are trustworthy. Now, what do you do to prove yourself in that regard? Alas, you're already starting out from well behind the runner's blocks, because of your previous history. You could, of course, simply ask him, "What do you need me to do to prove I am worthy of your trust?" However, that will probably be answered with, "I don't know." That actually makes sense because though trust can be damaged by one slip, rebuilding trust is a holistic process; it's not dependent on one particular action or set of circumstances. I'd strongly suggest a good counsellor, both for you as a couple and you individually, to work through the issue.
Mz. Pixie Posted December 5, 2005 Posted December 5, 2005 I personally think he's bullshxting you, based on your other posts. If he were going to leave you or be upset about it, it would have been a continuing issue or at the beginning. Just when he needs space and "you're lucky" to have him and all of a sudden it's because he doesn't trust you. Please DO NOT believe this is you!
cranium Posted December 5, 2005 Posted December 5, 2005 I also think he is bulls**ting you. I still think there is someone else and he is now turning it around on you. It is not uncommon for a cheating spouse to accuse the other of cheating. Sounds like he is the one that shouldn't be trusted.
slubberdegullion Posted December 5, 2005 Posted December 5, 2005 I find this very peculiar. The hub found evidence of potential infidelity - even though it never actually happened - but now he's the one getting accused of being a cheater? Seems odd to me.
cranium Posted December 5, 2005 Posted December 5, 2005 slubberdegullion, I was posting based on her other threads as well as this one. Here is some more of her story - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t76078 & http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t76092/
Mz. Pixie Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 I also saw this other post on someone elses thread I'd like to address- "I say Give him his emotional and physical space. I learnt the hard way. For now , See how he responds. He might be unhappy for now. I really studied relationships and men for the last 5 months. I noticed the same things your husband was doing/ and did to bother to chnage my ways. SO that lead himt o tell me I do not love you anymore and i want a divorce. Still hasnt happened yet but I ma living with it If you really want this man to stick around. Try forgetting that there is a problem. MEN DONT LIKE TALKING THATS A WOMAN THING. men show they care by doing things. For now just be happy enjoy the kids your lucky you have kids he never gave me any love life and try to make him love life my feeding him men love to be fed!!! and take care of the house be an old fashioned wife . For now and hopefully things will go back to normal!!!" Are you kidding me DWTLH??? TRY FORGETTING THERE IS A PROBLEM??? The bottom line is that this man married you to live in the country, never really did anything for you and now has left you and is blaming it on you. In the meantime stalling you until his immigration stuff is intact. Do you seriously not care so much about your own self that you would let yourself be treated this way, just because you love this person??? Men don't like talking???? That's a stereotype and not necessarily true. My husband loves to talk to me about our marriage and when we were dating the relationship. You cannot stick your head in the sand and not be aware of what's going on. You cannot continually or most of us cannot continually let ourselves be emotionally abused before we get tired of it.
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